I'm sorry Scarlet. Say a prayer for them and don't leave yourself out of those precious prayers...

{{{{{Scarlet}}}}}

i'm sorry. i lost custody of my little girl when she was 3. she's 12 years old now. we never regain those yearsand, in my case and hers, he has not for a moment quit terrizing us. new court battle soon. except for him, the rest of us fighting to keep her have no money left. i understand how you feel. it's as if now they can have their own so give yours back. can you go in for custody modification?

I can relate

I admire you admitting your feelings of jealousy, that takes alot of courage.

What really sucks is that I am truly grateful to this woman who open her heart to my children when I was sinking in the shit-hole of alcoholism. She has done a wonderful job raising my children.

The more I think about this, the only reason I have the relationship today that I have with my children is because of their stepmom. If she hadn't have been there, I don't know what damage I would have put the kids through.

Scarlet, you sound very healthy to me. You recognize you like this woman but are a bit jealous. OK, you are human. Keep talking about it, it does not sound unreasonable.

What is the fourth step again? Mind fart here.

I hear ya on that one Scarlet. My daughter was raised by her dad and step mom from the age of 10 until she was 16 and moved in with me.

She took excellent care of her and although I did NOT want to be with my ex at all, I still wanted to kick her teeth down her throat for being such a Pollyanna while I was a drunken slob. :)

Sounds like you're handling it great by your later posts...still I know it's not easy to be gracious.

You really made me do some thinking of how things might have been if she had been with me.....scary stuff.

Scarlett I really appreciate that you recognize and appreciate her role in your children's life. I'm an adult but I so cherish the relationship I have with my step mother. I've lost both my parents in less than 2 years, but I don't feel like an orphan because I still have her, and my children still have their Grammy.

I read your post, it seems you're sober a few years. You could re-build the relationships....or maybe you've already started. Maybe when the time is right you could thank her.

scarlet you are a very GREAT Example of recovery !! Ita alot of gumption ta admit these things.....WAY TO GO !!and WAY TO GROW !!!!

Take that jealousy and envy to a 6th and 7th step.

UPDATE: Last night (Friday) I went to get my son for the weekend. StepMom was glowing in that pregnant way, and I felt happy for her and my ex. The envy and jealousy is pretty much gone, replaced with gratitude.

I think that jealousy is based on the fact that I missed out on much of my childrens early childhood because of my drinking. I missed out on watching them grow from toddlers to little kids to big kids. Now that I have been sober for several years, I have the relationships w/ them that I didn't have when they were younger.

My daughter and I are close, at 15 yo, she trusts me enough to talk about boys, etc. My son (12 yo) especially requested that I come get him this weekend (w/out this sister) for some mom/son time.

And AA taught me all of this.

Thank you for sharing, that was beautiful.