Do not serve wine. Do not allow wine in your home. I know it's scary to admit your drinking problem. But what's worse, admitting or risking your sobriety. It's too early...it's too risky. Do not do not do not let yourself be near alcohol. Cancel dinner die to illness if you must. It's not a lie. You are ill.

My sympathies. I too have friends and used to have a boyfriend who drank so had to be around alcohol even in my sobriety. It is always a challenge.

I agree that it is best to train yourself in saying no to alcohol and substituting a non-alcoholic alternative. It's important to always have seltzer water or juice or whatever you like around so you have something else to drink while everyone else is having alcohol.

Make sure once the party is over you dispose of all of the alcohol so it's no longer sitting around your house and tempting you.

It is possible to navigate these drinking situations without relapsing, but it is challenging. Feel free to check in on your progress throughout the night. We are here for you. You are strong enough to resist.

Hi --

While I understand the thought behind cancelling dinner, that's not really what I want to do. Right now I feel confident that I can stay strong because I was able to be in social situations last weekend in NYC and not drink.

Rich

Another thing: it really helps if your friends and partner know you have stopped drinking and support your sobriety so they can encourage you not to drink.

don't be afraid to share this info. you will probably find as I did that your friends are supportive of your sobriety because they could tell you had a problem.

Hey --

My wife knows and so she supports me.. but now it turns out I have a work project I need to get done which will mean working after dinner (I work from home) Knowing I have to work will be additional enforcement of not drinking!

The thing that is good for me is that when I have a commitment - work, or something to do / somewhere to be in the morning - I won't drink because I don't want to miss that commitment.

That's why this weekend was good for me - I knew I had lots to do and things to start early in the day so I was not tempted to drink.

Rich

I find the best course is to just don't drink and let everyone else decide if they do or don't. I know the fear. I will never forget the gist concert. And a VIP section and they serve wine and I just poured Redbull right in the glass and cheers everybody moved on

The real idea is to have fun and don't worry. I find 99.9 of the times I am fearful I'm plain just wrong to feel that way.

Have fun. Enjoy sober. Check in often

1is2mant

Ginger-ale is a good call. I was at a party this weekend and I just kept pouring myself ginger-ale.

RW,

I think you really need to get beyond your current perspective that somehow you will be missing something if you don't consume alcohol in a social setting. People all over the world do it every day. More people in the world have never had a drink of alcohol than those that have. You have been programmed by our western society to believe that alcohol usage is a normal and even necessary part of social intercourse. Let people know (if they ask) that you are happier now that you are not alcohol dependent any more. Show them (and yourself) that you do not need a social lubricant. Stay chained up or break free and CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM. The choice is yours.

I don't have a conception that I am missing anything by not drinking.

The only thing I'm "missing" is bad sleep, feeling hungover, feeling more anxious, etc.

And yet I still find myself craving wine..

Rich

I'll be on DS all night Rich - stay focused on what you really want, and this will be another day without alcohol for you. You can do it!

Hi Everyone

Dinner is over and I made it!

Rich

Congrats Rich!

You did it! I always feel victorious after returning home from a drinking occasion and knowing I had the courage to say no to the booze.

Now you can focus on the work you need to do and how you are making the right choices.

Remember to dispose of any alcohol in the house once the dinner party is over so it won't be around tempting you.Hhave your wife do this if you cannot.

Very proud of you!

Gotta ask Rich, did you "crave" wine during the dinner? And when you say you sometimes crave wine, do you think it is actually the wine you are craving or is it the getting drunk that you crave?

Glad to hear you got through it.

Cheers, Buck

Hey --

I didn't find myself thinking about drinking since I knew I had to go back to work after dinner. I'm not sure how I would have been had I not had to do that.

I've always been able to moderate my intake if I've been out and needed to drive home because the risk of getting into an accident and/or getting a DWI were just to great to not moderate. It was the drinking when I got home that was the problem. So because of that "power" or whatever, I can moderate (or not consume in this case) when I know I have something important to do after.

There was no alcohol left when dinner was over. My wife and our two guests shared two bottles between them and that was all there was. My wife had bought a bottle and our guests brought over a bottle.

Rich