much, lol

yes I stunted my emotional growth when I was thirteen...seeing I am now sober 15+yrs I guess I might have made it to my twenties by now but I am 53yrs old....I am very immature...very...no idea what else to do except step up and do the next right thing...working steps in AA has helped too...but maturity to me is financial security...which I may never ever achieve....shucks I screwed myself that way...

I disagree, don't believe in that concept. just my opinion.

everybody is different. for me personally, this makes sense.

The theory is that when drinking/drugging is being used as a means to blot out emotional pain that emotional growth stops or is stunted as well. Along with that is the other end. Once one gets sober and is working a viable plan of action emotional growth resumes. The accepted rate is about 1 year for every month.
This growth is contingent with and dependent on the work involved in recognizing feelings/emotions and working through them instead of hiding or stuffing them.

I swing wildly both ways. I do feel young at heart, just turned 44 and that feels ridiculous - I do feel young within myself - in a good way. I am also very immature, especially in matters concerning other humans and have high expectations of others. I started blackout drinking at 14 and I do believe it stunts ones emotional maturation. I'm 11 years sobern ow but feel like I'm out of my depth, especially as relates to "romantic love" with men - I never got to learn how to negotiate that part of life properly and frankly, haven't progressed much since I got sober.

On the other hand, because I am an alcoholic and allowed myself to be teachable, and also because I have serious mental illnesses, that I work my arse off on in therapy, and also do pursue some form of spirituality, I can be pretty insightful and mature at times. My psychologist actually recently called me an "old soul", probably the single greatest compliment anyone ever said to me.

If this all sounds contradictory, it is. I'm not a cookie cut out - no-one is.

I like to think we are young at heart, lol! Immaturity probably, I mean we didn't feel our feelings we drounded them out. But anyways who wants to grow up right.

I never really paid attention to that age thing really. Alcoholics have particular traits regardless of what age they are.

I do know that when I was first getting sober I was extremely sensitive, insecure, and angered easily.

That got better with time and effort. The 12 Steps... a beautiful thing!!

~Chris

I don't think it's drinking that stops one's emotional growth - I think it's selfishness. I've seen many non alcoholics that can't seem to grow up - they live in that teenaged state of mind - very selfish people.

Peace!

It is necessary to be able to retain a sense of play throughout one's life. Some of us never had childhoods. As an artist I am happier now than when I was a child. I've worked through feelings and it was not fun, but I broke through after 5 years of being sober. May you stay forever young...

Well, for me there was a way to start fixing it: STOP DRINKING.

ANd face life, without all the fear and hiding. I am really off track in many areas, maturity is off and stuff. It is embarrassing at times. But what the hell am I suppose to do? All I can do is pick up the peices and work today to get it together.

It is kind of like a re-birth for me.

I look at it this way: my two loved ones died in there 60's with the maturity level's emotionally of a teenager (alcoholics). I am getting past that slowly-forging new paths for this alki!

I think this is sometimes why folks keep boozing-don't want to face the reality of how much time and growth was lost.

Ashley,

I was thinking a similar thing before I read your post. I am reading a book by Allen Berger calkled, "21 smart things to do when the booza and drugs are gone". He talks about emotional sobriety. Have you ever read it?

Hi Ash

What I know to be true for me is. When I was young there came a time when I wanted to drink with older men because the ones I new drank the way I wanted to. And when i was in my thirties I drank with younger people because i couldn't relate to people my age or older.

We all grow physically but for me I don't believe i grew mentally or emotionally. Only my opinion . It wasn't until i sobered up I started to grow in those areas of my life.

I have heard older people share in a meeting how they have had to move to a retirement home with other elderly people and they just don't fit in because these people seen so old. and I understand that.

It's good to have all these different opinions because we are all different .

God Bless...

Lionel

the drinking numbs you and prevents you from feeling emotional pain. Tis better to feel the pain, as much as it hurts, because that is how you grow emotionally! The brain can deal with it over time but when we drink, we prevent our brains from doing what nature designed them to do!

There is a guy in my home group who is always telling the younger ones, "I started drinking when I was 15. I didn't stop until I was 45 but I was still 15!"

Nobody likes to feel pain but that is why if have family and friens so that we can get support to help us through the rough times!

TC!