I'm sorry you are struggling. Read your post again. You are out of money; you are worried about getting sick. You have "issues" with AA?
You need an ER if you start to get sick; and once you are stable; I'd get over those issues with AA or try Smart or get other help. Clearly what you are doing isnt working.
Good luck and stay safe.

Giday CS, I agree with SW about getting to ER. However, I know as a drunk in my denial I would have said I was not sick enough, I will get through this or other excuses like I can not go here because they are this.

The truth for me was I had to get help I could not get me together and the first thing for me to do was get dry and sometimes this needs to happen under the supervision of doctors/health professionals.

But even getting dry lot of people eventually get to a point and justifying their next drink by saying 'I was not that bad, etc'.

You say you are begging for us to not say 'pray' or head to AA, the truth is nothing we say will help you, we can make suggestions the truth is the only person who can change me is me and the only way I can change me is through action. What action will you take??

Wishing you well G8

your anticipation might be way off base....I never got shakes and I never went thru withdrawals from alcohol other than internally as my doctor told me my liver enzymes went whacky after I quit....but no physical stuff....

have you in past had those physical symptoms you are fearing? Fears list would work pretty good on having this stuff rushing thru your head and heart right now....hugs

Yes, I physically withdrawal. I've been drinking on-and-off since I was a child. (I'm not your average bottle of wine drinker; I'm pounding fifths of liquor.) I have issues with AA, because I find lot of members I there to be judgmental and cliquish. I'm an atheist who is strongly opinionated. I don't need others shoving the Bible down my throat, or pretending to be there for me...when they're nowhere to be found when I actually need them. Screw that.
Yes, I know nothing you say will help me. It just helps to know if others have had the same experience, and can offer advice. I'm not asking for a magical solution. Life doesn't work like that, I'm aware.

My heart aches for you and we are here for you. But now YOU HAVE TO BE HERE for YOU like you never have been before and MOVE toward not drinking today. Are you really ready to quit? If you had more money would you buy another fifth? In my own experience, I wasn't ready to quit until I HONESTLY surrendered. Not ready to surrender, but actively surrender. Will do that right now? Your best self is waiting for you and the rest of your beautiful life. Much love, PG

At the last minute, I jumped in the life boat rather then going down with the sinking ship!

So don't go to AA. That is totally besides the point right now. Right now you need to deal with detoxing.

You should probably get to an ER. If you are unwilling to go, drink lots of water, and keep a phone near you so if you get bad you can call 911. Drink lots of water. Have a friend be there with you if possible. Panicking won't help. Deep, calm breaths will. Stay as safe as possible through the process.

It was like groundhogs day EVERY day. Insanity only when the pain was SO great did I finally decide I was tired and got off the merry go round.
1is2many

It is possible, many have recovered

I have my phone near me. I just finished the bottle an hour ago. I should be good for a little bit. I'll keep the phone near me. I've already vented to my friend. He's an addict himself, and knows where I am. He's been sober for 94 days. With ease. He acts like he's been sober for years. It's incredible. Yes, everyday is pretty much like Groundhog Day. That's why I'm trying my hardest to surrender and stop. It's like a constant war in my head.

You are tired of this. Alcohol is controlling your life as you know it.
It is time for you to fight back and quit making excuses. Fuck that voice in your head. This is your life!
Tell yourself that you are in control from this point on. I care, but it's up to you bud. Take command.

I'm not suggesting any of these actions but in my experience there's always someway to get money for the next drink. The fact that this is by spending your last dollar, borrowing money from friends (knowing you probably wont pay it back) or petty crime, there's always a way. This is unfortunately what many end up doing. The question is do you want to take any of these actions just to get another drink? Hopefully the answer is no, even though you will have to deal with the side effects. Thats already a great achievement and you should be proud and draw strength from this. You say that you are an atheist but that should not stop you having faith in yourself (sorry thats almost preaching). As for the physical withdraw, yes drink lots of water, keep a phone with you, a friend also if possible and get to a doctor if its unbearable. Main thing to do is not have another drink, I know easier said than done right, but it can be done. Best of luck, I think you are strong enough and I'm a stranger.

How are you able to work when you are so sick? I think it's time to reevaluate where you are. Do you have any family that lives close by that can help you out? I would go the the hospital or the nearest AA meeting, even if you don't like it. The people in AA could really help you out and immediately bring you to where you need to be. Gosh, I am so sorry. Keep us updated.

The only thing anyone in AA can do for someone going through severe withdrawals or DTs is take them to the ER.

How are you this morning, current?

So this was posted yesterday. What did you do? How are you? Did you go to the ER? Are you in detox? You don't want to pull a Amy Winehouse.

Sorry man, never been quite that far down the road. If you're worried about tonight, you're dealing with anxiety as much as you are the DTs. All I can really say is make sure you're hydrated, and do things through the day to make you tired and relaxed. Benny's and barbituates fight the physical DTs, but you sound out of resources. Scrounging for money for a bottle isn't likely to turn out well. for tonight, make a nest, quiet music, have something physical you can do to fight the jitters, until then drink water/gatorade do something physical like walking. If home bound, clean up around the nest, clear crap out of the way, borrow or download a video game. If you're trying to quit, focus on your friend - yeah he had it easy, but you can get there a little more slowly.