Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Yes, I know that this is not an AA board, but I use AA and just celebrated 3 years sober because I have been actively involved in AA.
Well, until this winter at some point.
I have not been at nearly as many meetings. I have been sleeping a lot. I feel like a monstrous failure at everything.
I tried to do what I have heard works .. I grabbed a newcomer and started talking, exchanged numbers. I called him and said "Let's make a meeting together". Se had everything set up and i totally bailed on him -- I was in bed, as usual. I immediately offered an apology and he accepted and we have since spoken on the phone. But what kind of example am I??
Here is a guy struggling to not get loaded from day to day and I can't even get to a meeting ... but I tell him AA is "working" for me -- even though I am not doing anything except resting on my laurels.
I really do not want to get drunk. I have been down this path - sober for a while, complacent, drunk again.
And the thing is -- I did not pick up a drink after being sober for some time because I was depressed, or anxious, or could not sleep, or could not sit in my own skin. I picked up a drink after some time sober because I dropped out of AA and slowly that little voice in my head became a shout "Have a drink!" "Go ahead, get drunk one night!!" "You can always go back to AA!"
Yeah -- that lead me out for YEARS .. a real education in powerlessness.
I do not think I can take another butt whooping ... I don't want to find out.
Does anyone have advice on getting motivated to re-commit to AA?
Thank you!
Well, until this winter at some point.
I have not been at nearly as many meetings. I have been sleeping a lot. I feel like a monstrous failure at everything.
I tried to do what I have heard works .. I grabbed a newcomer and started talking, exchanged numbers. I called him and said "Let's make a meeting together". Se had everything set up and i totally bailed on him -- I was in bed, as usual. I immediately offered an apology and he accepted and we have since spoken on the phone. But what kind of example am I??
Here is a guy struggling to not get loaded from day to day and I can't even get to a meeting ... but I tell him AA is "working" for me -- even though I am not doing anything except resting on my laurels.
I really do not want to get drunk. I have been down this path - sober for a while, complacent, drunk again.
And the thing is -- I did not pick up a drink after being sober for some time because I was depressed, or anxious, or could not sleep, or could not sit in my own skin. I picked up a drink after some time sober because I dropped out of AA and slowly that little voice in my head became a shout "Have a drink!" "Go ahead, get drunk one night!!" "You can always go back to AA!"
Yeah -- that lead me out for YEARS .. a real education in powerlessness.
I do not think I can take another butt whooping ... I don't want to find out.
Does anyone have advice on getting motivated to re-commit to AA?
Thank you!
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We can only rest on our laurels for so long. After all laurels have thorns and it gets uncomfortable after a while. Maybe begin with doing step 11 regularly (page 86 in the BB).
Me, I did things differently than I had in the past. Not just about the number of meetings I was going to, it was the type of meetings I was going to. I found a Big Book Study group that changed everything for me and got me excited about working with a sponsor and doing the steps.
Maybe instead of just taking a newcomer to meetings, take them through the Big Book. It worked for my sponsor when she took me on. :-)
Prayer is a huge part of my day. Not just at morning and night... I chat all day with God. It helps me.
All the best.
~chris
Is what is going on with me now a consequence of something i wasnt doing and if so where does the corrective action lie? We all think at some point that we can get away with shortcuts or half measures and the consequences of that are what teaches us that we cant. Hopefully we learn that lesson before we get as far as taking a drink.
Sounds to me like you are taking action and making decisions based on self will. Hopefully you will find corrective measures that work in re focusing on the action as described above. If you can genuinely say that none of that is applicable and you do all you can with your spiritual life and find no change you may want to consider whether you are suffering from depression and need some medical help. I would make sure you are absolutely sure about that though. It is easy to attribute it to depression and try and find a way out through medication as just another easier softer way.
Billy
Peace be the journey..
I just have to do the foot work, ya know one foot in front of the other, focusing on right now. I start my day with a request for my HP to join me.
You will get your mojo back....but you won't do it, it you don't get started!
Ree
OK.....get your butt to a meeting.....TODAY!
P.S. thought you might be waiting for that....LOL
One thing that has helped me in the past was a commitment --- my home group is having their business meeting on Monday -- I plan to stay for the biz meeting and put my hand up for something -- coffee, outgoings, literature, whatever.
Thanks for the encouragement, folks. It means a lot to me to "get it off my chest".
One thing that helped me when I went to the first meetings around the same time that you did was that I got involved immediately in trying to help in whatever way I could. I think I probably did it because I felt guilty about taking so much out of AA and finding that throwing some money on the table was not enough to ease my conscience.
Arranging the chairs, making the tea, sharing at meetings, talking to new members, giving people a lift to meetings were some pretty small contributions but those things turned out to be important for me. After about three months I was getting forewarned that it was time to share at a top table, something that scared the hell out of me. However, I did it and then did many more without any difficulty. Getting a sponsor was probably the most important thing I did, after about four months.
It was then suggested by my sponsor that I should join a Home Group, although at the time I had no idea what a Home Group was. As a group member I am expected to open the meeting for about one month every year and to accept service positions if I am proposed for one. Nothing however compares with being asked to sponsor other people and to watch them recover. I just have to be careful and to remember that recovery comes from God and that I am only the messenger - I cannot even begin to fix anyones alcoholism or indeed my own.
Its seems it never changes for people that live by the AA program when going back out it they simply put they quite going to meetings.
Peace, Dotty
It sounds to me like you are suffering from clinical depression. If so, this can be easily treated with a non habit forming antidepressant. Lots of us who have this drink to escape ther endless depression, remember true depression is not sadness but a lack of feeling anything but tired! I have been clean and sober now going on 11 years but did my battles with the bottle. Hope this helps, Eric