I always have wondered what the big deal is about NYE parties. To celebrate the end of the last year (I did enough of that already, just getting through it)? Celebrate the new year (why start it off as a drunk)? I think those parties are just excuses to get drunk and I don't ever go, so I can stay away from all the "fun" people. For me, it's stay at home, eat cheese fondue and drink sparkling cider.

Happy New Year's to you, too, and to all the rest of you. Be sober, be safe.

I think you just need to find others ways to have fun. Find something creative to do on New year's eve.....something to sink your passion into!

For me, the list is endless, I can always find something to amuse myself. If I allowed myself to fall into self pity mode, I would have to go back on anti depressant medication and that is something I will never do. It's a choice, we all have.

God Bless

You arent alone.
This is my 6th sober new years eve. Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself I remind myself of the "REALITY" of my last drinking new years. First, I barely remember it. Second, I teetered home with my husband and three kids, wasted, and passed out in the kids bed trying to read to them. I woke up (came to) and was so sick. I tried to enjoy the day but was sick. I shook, I felt nauseous, I was a mess. I was suffering and didnt know that I was alcoholic, just knew I couldnt stop and I couldnt imagine life without drinking. When I did get sober a few months later (March) I made it through a girls weekend/ bday party that had been centered around drinking, a week in the mountains spring skiing, and so on and so on. I felt like i couldnt enjoy myself without drinking and worried others wouldnt want me around. The reality is once I got over myself I realized almost no one CARED if I drank or not. They wanted to drink, and if I didnt, thy would still and they'd have fun and....shockingly....so did I.
Give yourself time. Get out of your head. Focus on the people, the food, the conversation, and realize that the only one obsessing about YOU is you. No one else cares nearly as much as you think they do about your choice to drink, or be sober.

Thanks guys :) reading these made me feel a little better and less alone <3

Hello VictoriaBlack,

One of the great things about this life is the ability to change. I don’t particularly like these artificial social occasions but I can handle them a lot better today. Even when I was drinking, those family get-togethers were a nightmare because the other people there were drinking normally, i.e. slowly and I needed to be knocking it back about three times as fast.

Maybe you could place less importance on New Year’s Eve and look a bit more to the long term. I have found it easier to be ‘fun’ if you are self-confident and at ease with yourself and I am amazed at how well I can now handle situations that used to be a nightmare before.

You are in AA, are going to therapy and are getting help and that is good. Why not take a long term view and keep making progress towards your objective. The New Year is a time when many people make resolutions and break most of them within a week. Better I think to work steadily on your issues and make gradual but lasting progress.

Maybe you can change your attitude to alcohol as well. “I can’t drink but I wish I could” is dangerous thinking. How about this instead:

“I don’t want to drink because alcohol is poison to me”.

“I am at ease with myself in any company and don’t need chemicals in order to enjoy life”.

“I am willing to change how I view people, places and things”.

“I will not allow other people to live rent-free in my head”.

You can add a lot more to the list.
Happy New Year.

Hi. Wow, that really resonated with me. I feel the same way. Some great answers too. It has given me something to think about. Good luck darling

Cheese fondue and sparkling cider sound like a perfect NYE. But I know what you mean. I longed for some social interaction last night. My wife wanted her sister and nieces over. It was a struggle. But now it's passed. Next year I might plan something so I don't run into the same conflict as I did next year.


Or maybe I'll pull out the fondue set and eat copious amounts of cheese.

Holidays are meeting days for me. this centers me and gives me strength.

After a few sober years, I no longer missed those highs and the lows of the following day. It so nice to enjoy the evening with friends.