Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I've been drinking very heavily/dependently for the past 4 or so years. Until about two-and-a-half years ago, I didn't really think I had a drinking problem (nor did I want to accept it). It's gotten so bad that I can't go more than one day without getting blackout drunk. If I try to go without drinking, I become very depressed, anxious, irritable and passive-aggressive. Back in early 2014, I got so drunk one night that I blew off work the next morning (no-call, no-show), and when my boss called, I told him I quit (all of this was unprovoked; it's just that I made a very irrational decision because I was not in my right mind, due to the drinking). Luckily, I was able to find a new job the next week.
After all of that, you'd think it would be a wake-up call to stop drinking... it wasn't.
I would get so depressed that I would binge drink for days on end... sometimes even weeks... There have been multiple repeat incidents of getting so drunk that I wake up late for work... but, luckily, my current boss is very chill and doesn't mind if I show up late; he just tells me to make up my hours later. The most recent incident of that was just last Saturday, where I needed to work 9am-1pm, but woke up at 12:30...
After that incident, I haven't had another drink - I've gone 5 days without a drink, and I am drawing very near my rope's end... I very much feel that I need to go to the liquor store right now (if they were open... it's almost 3:30am here, so I'm S.O.L. there)... but I don't know how long I'll be able to hold out... my anxiety and depression are flaring, my irritability level is over the top, and I have been avoiding every one and every thing because I fear that I will lose my cool over nothing and turn into the biggest asshole... leading to losing more people close to me...
There are no support groups near me (the nearest one is about 30 miles away), I don't have the money to see a specialist (there are no specialists near me, either), and I honestly have no idea what to do......
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
It is good that you are finally realizing that you have a problem with alcohol. Now, you will need to take direct action and make some changes if you want to put your life on a better course.
You have listed a lot of incidents that have been the result of too much drinking but the details of those incidents are not that important; just bear in mind that unless you make changes, there will be many more such episodes in future.
The depression etc. is likely to be directly linked to your drinking and will probably ease considerably if you become sober. When a person has been using alcohol as a means of dealing with life’s issues and suddenly quits drinking, he or she often gets a feeling that the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) describes as being “Restless, irritable and discontented”.
If you are an alcoholic, and only you can decide whether you are or not, then your only option is total abstinence from alcohol. You have gone five days without drinking and you are struggling. The reason for your struggle may be that you have an obsession for alcohol so that even though you have decided to stop drinking, your subconscious mind is telling you that you need to drink. A person who has this obsession will often have to change their thinking in a big way and this may require outside help.
When I was where you are now, I drove thirty miles and thirty miles back, six nights per week for three months in order to get to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. I did this because I accepted that I had a serious problem that I was unable to overcome on my own. You do not necessarily have to spend money on seeing a specialist but I would suggest putting sobriety at the top of your priority list and being willing to do whatever it takes.
I found that it was just not possible for me to learn what I didnt know. What I found out from others that had recovered was that i have an illness that has two parts. One when I start Im drinking till its gone. and 2 when I am not drinking I am thinking when will I get my fix. It was only by finding a replacement for the drinking that I have found I can live sober AND happy.
I drive 20 miles to my meeting and actually that was the one thing that saved me from drinking. It gave me something to do. Now I go because I found if I dont Im not happy, and I will drink. that simple.
You can break the cycle if you make the moves to do so.
1is2many
Recovery from alcohol is not a one stop process. It is a journey that would need you to get all the support you need to succeed and to avoid relapse. My advice is first to seek for professional help. You mentioned that you have no money to see a specialist but there are some treatment centers that offer consultations for free. You can call one and let them assess you about the programs that you may need to recover so you'll have an idea of the job that you need to do for yourself. From what I know, some health insurances include recovery treatment programs in their platform. If you have any health insurance, you can call them and check it out if they can cover it for you.
Another alternate way is to join support groups such as this to give you motivation and inspiration every time you feel like you need a drink or something. Support system is very important in recovery. It would be really helpful for you if you have your family or this group of people that will help you one step at a time in your recovery.
Reading blogs and articles about alcoholism and recovery of alcoholics will also be very helpful. Reading will remind you that if other can do it, you can too. Read their testimonials and be inspired to them. Here are some articles that you might want to check to start with:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alcohol-use-disorder/basics/definition/con-20020866
https://www.blvdcenters.org/blog/alcohol-detox-works
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/157163.php
I hope this would help. Sending all the positivity to you!
You're welcome.
AA meetings Los Angeles
AA meetings Pasadena
https://www.paxhouse.org/services/12-step-meetings/
Thanks and good luck getting better!