Well I can say since I started praying, going to meetings, reading the alcoholics anonymous literature, talking with a sponsor and others who can't control their drinking (or the outcomes after drinking), and thinking of others before myself regularly, life has been much easier to manage.

You binge drink, which suggests if you could, correctly daily you would. Most binge drinkers binge because the desire of wanting a drink daily builds up, and eventually the let it all hang out when they do decide to drink. It's like they want to make up for the days they didn't drink, like they have to catch up on the drinking they missed out on while forcing themselves to stop. You might kill someone the next time you binge drink, I almost killed someone when I was in a blackout driving once. I told myself I was never going to drink and drive again, and a situation where a woman decided I couldn't stay at her place, after being told I could, happened, and promise broken, I had to drive drunk, but I wouldn't have driven drunk if I didn't decide to drink in the first place.

Real alcoholics, don't have much of a decision making process or decision protocol going on before they start to drink. The need for the effect of alcohol for the alcoholic is so great, from a mental perspective, it prevents all the negative consequences from being considered in the decision making process. If looked at in that light, the alcoholic practically has no choice in wanting to drink.

God has the perfect plan for you to no longer drink, and considering asking him, even if awkward or uncool in the beginning, usually brings spot on results for anyone who can't control their drinking.

I do no people who have quit, because the love of their life was effected too much. If you educate yourself about what alcoholism is to most experts, the medical community, and AA, it is impossible for a real alcoholic to quit for another person, the alcohol is too great a solution to the internal difficulties they experience.

It is great you recognize you need a babysitter at 31, the fact that you see that as abnormal should give you hope. If control and manageability replaces lack of control and the love of your life not having to babysit you, that sounds like a great trade off to me!

The next time you drink, before the first drink ask God or a higher power, or even the experience itself, if the God thing is annoying, to shift your focus on if you are controlling and enjoying everything despite the effort to control the drinking. If the need to control is frustrating, or you abandon the control agenda at any point, saying things like "who cares?" or "I'll stop another time?" to encourage yourself to drink more, that my friend is craving, and for an alcoholic that needs recovery, it is all about identifying that craving, then taking the steps to prevent that craving from every happening, by total abstinence from alcohol. I know that is terrible news for any practicing alcoholic, but I can assure you, God will never create a new path for someone, that doesn't include their former love (alcohol), that isn't better than life ever could have known with alcohol. In more simple terms, you have no idea how awesome and fulfilling life turns out to be, when alcohol is replaced by the life God wants you to have free of alcohol.

Here is a simple plan to help you stop drinking. Play it all the way through. What I mean by that is this, Think about when you drink, what is the best possible outcome that will come from your drinking. Now what is the worst, Now even if it is somewhere in the middle, is it really worth doing? Also think about how badly you would feel if you hurt someone you cared about.

TailorSailor I can take a lot out of it. Now I just gotta do it. Thank you!

Daddylion this is a simple response but also makes the most sense to me. Something I can do every time I feel the need to drink. Now I just hope I can have the self control needed. Thank you!

Hello Busey64,

It is good that you have recognised that drinking has become a problem in your life. The first thing I would urge you to do now is to educate yourself about alcoholism and one excellent source of knowledge is the video at the link below.

In the period before I stopped drinking, I did not consider myself to be an alcoholic and there were two reasons for that. Without a doubt, there was a strong element of denial, something that I had in common with most alcoholics. However, a major part of the problem was that I just did not know what made someone an alcoholic. I used to sit at the end of a long bar and count the ‘alcoholics’ or rather, people who fitted my image of alcoholism. I know today that many of those people were not alcoholics at all, but I, who did not fit easily fit that image, was, in fact, an undoubted alcoholic.

An alcoholic is different to other drinkers in two respects and maybe you can ask yourself if those differences apply to you. Firstly, an alcoholic or potential alcoholic develops a different way of thinking where alcohol is concerned. Alcohol becomes a sort of crutch maybe in dealing with problems and emotional issues. The mind learns that alcohol seems to solve problems and drinking becomes the default setting for dealing with everything. This sort of thinking develops to the point where drinking becomes an obsession and a person who has this obsession will always find or manufacture a reason to drink. You can put the blame on triggers such as stress or anxiety but it may be that you are developing an obsession for alcohol and that if you did not have those excuses, you would find different ones.

In the early stages of alcoholism, an alcoholic can stop if there is a strong enough reason, such as threats from girlfriends, employers, family members, courts, etc. but as the condition progresses, even the most severe consequences will not make much difference. The second difference between a normal drinker and an alcoholic is that a physical change takes place in the body of the alcoholic that does not occur in the social drinker. When an alcoholic takes a drink, the body develops a strong craving for more and each drink increases the craving. A person who goes on a binge such as you have described is probably suffering from this change and is drinking in order to try and satisfy a craving.

Can you take a couple of drinks and no more a few times a week and be happy about it? When someone offers you a drink, can you refuse it and tell them that you have had enough? When you drink a lot, do you sometimes feel that you still want one more? Could you go maybe a whole year without drinking at all?

If you are an alcoholic or some way down the road to alcoholism, you will not be able to regain control over drinking and your only safe option is to quit entirely. A good approach in such a case is to avoid setting long targets and stay sober just for TODAY. If you continue to struggle and keep drinking even though you had decided to stop, you will find good support at AA meetings in your area.

P.S. Remember to click the link below and watch the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE

PJ54 thank you for the helpful information. I'll watch the video

Hi Busey64

I'm 60 days sober today.

I have two suggestions:

Find a counselor trained in alcohol and addiction recovery. These individuals are versed in assessing your personal situation and help you find a solution. Did you know there are medications available to help people stop drinking? Give it a go! Guess what? I haven't had a hangover in 60 days! Tomorrow will be 61 (I can't say I ever had a hangover where I thought "wow. This feels so great that I can't wait to do it again")

Put yourself in places where you can see alternatives. For example, you could go to AA meetings and try it on. Know that the only requirement to be in AA is a desire to stop drinking. How great is that!!

You don't need to say a thing at an AA meeting. You can sit, observe and listen.
I've also used the web. I like the site Alcohol Mastery.

Hi. I know in recovery were told not to judge and let the person having the problem decide if they are or are not alcoholic. Well, I don't completely agree with that since alcoholism is a fatal disease. I wouldn't think too much of myself if I didn't voice an opinion that might save a person's life.
From what you wrote I would say your alcoholic. Normal drinkers don't black out. They stop with just one drink or two. They don't have the same effect as we do, which is usually to want more. Another thing is that if you're trying to still control your drinking, you're not in control.
Lots of alcoholics binge drink like you and lots drink daily. Doesn't really matter when or how much. It has to do with the effect that alcohol has on you, and a constant needing to control it. You never will if your an alcoholic. What makes me an alcoholic is that I can never take alcohol and guarantee the outcome. I cannot safely drink. I don't know what's going to happen. I could try it and get away for awhile, but at some point, I lose controle and end up messed up again. I did that for years trying to find a way to control it. Never could and never will. I don't want to do that anymore. It's too painful. You will lose that girl of yours and everything else that matters to you. Try to make the right decision.
Hope this helps a bit. Wish you all the best. James

Danger zone . Period.
1is2man