Hi there! Thanks for coming on here and reaching out for some perspectives from "the experts" and feedback. To me, alcohol became a substance that I could no longer control. At some point, I went from being a "regular" drinker to an alcoholic drinker. It did it's slow but steady work on me for the better part of 25 years. It was only in the past 2-3 years when my drinking switched to that of an alcoholic. When I drank, I drank to excess and those times were getting more and more frequent. It was almost a daily thing. If when you drink, you can't stop, then that is the alcohol in control, not you -- no matter if it's once a month or every day. Only you can decide though when you have had enough. I couldn't imagine life w/out booze and know I can't imagine putting myself thru that abuse ever again. Keep coming here and sharing. Hugs, PG

It sounds like you need someone to tell you that you are an alcoholic and you need help. You are an alcoholic and you need help. That's not going to solve your problems though and unfortunately nobody here can do it for you.

I did the same thing you are doing right now. I went into an online group and I wanted to here someone tell me, "ahh your not a drunk! Don't worry about!" But the truth was, nobody told me that because they had been in my shoes. They new it was my choice and that I was facing a life and death decision. Unfortunately, I did not get help right away and because I waited, I ended up in the hospital for 3 days and I almost died. Luckily, God decided to keep me alive for a reason so here I am today.

My parents were binge drinkers. They would go weeks at a time without drinking, then they would start drinking non stop for the next 3 weeks.

Long story short, alcohol killed my mother at the age of 52. I was just a kid at the time and I was devastated. That was 40 years ago but I remember it like yesterday.

Alcoholism is a preogressive disease. It gets worse over time. I went through a treatment program at our local hospital 8 years ago. I was diagnosed with depression and ptsd and I was treated for those. They were my triggers.

Today, I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Keep us posted. We care.

God Bless!

This was the case with me. My body just processes alcohol differently. It is nothing to be ashamed of and actually I found relief when I recognized I'm an alcoholic. It is treatable by just doing a few things. I found a great help from other recovering alcoholics and by working on myself.

I couldn't cope with life and became reliant upon booze.

Why not turn to your mom? She would actually be a great person to open up to and begin the road to recovery. The thing is the shame is what kept me drinking till 40. It almost killed me and I will never forget the first time I posted on this board. I was scared. But in the past few years I have grown so much , I'm not scared and ashamed anymore. Life is so much better.

You can find happiness if you search it out

1is2many

Hi. Aside from you being a girl, you are telling my story.

I could go weeks without drinking or drinking out of control. But the thought was on my mind. As soon as I went for a night out with friends or my wife (first or second) I was torture to be around.

I am fortunate to not have a DUI despite driving drunk dozens of times.

I say this to you with all respect, and I shouldn't tell you that you're an alcoholic, but you're an alcoholic.

It doesn't get better, it gets worse.

I wish I stopped at 28. I didn't stop til I was 40. I'm 43 now and I look back at the disappointed family members and friends, even the ex family members and friends.

I'd take all that behavior away if I could. Life is so much better sober. Now I am in a strong AA program, and that may or may not be right for you.


Your mom didn't magically get cured. If she's an alcoholic it's always there. And that increases your chances like you having the same hair.

Stick around here. It's good that you're asking the question. But almost always when someone asks if they are an alcoholic, the answer is a resounding yes.

If you need help recognizing, have a real conversation with your boyfriend or friends you trust about your drinking.

I can tell you, my buddies loved me as a drunk up until it was bed time and I'd inevitably through up. Every guy trip to Vegas, Mexico or the dessert people gravitated towards me while we drank but as the nights when one, they all avoided me like a plague.

Literally you drew the short straw if you had to share a hote room with me at bachelor parties and guys getaways.

I hope this helps.

I hate typos.

Desert

As the nights went on.

Hello overexposure,

It seems to me that you have some important decisions to make that are going to determine how the future will play out. My advice to you is to educate yourself about alcoholism and to then decide on your next course of action.

My guess is that you need to completely abstain from alcohol and I will tell you why I think that. There are two things that happen to people on the journey into alcoholism and once you understand those things you can decide if you are on that path. One thing that happens is that the person becomes obsessed with drinking. Some of the people who have this obsession drink every day and others will stay sober for weeks or even months before going on a binge. You dont drink all of the time but that does not mean that you are not an alcoholic.

The other change that occurs in people who become alcoholics is that they develop an abnormal reaction in the body to alcohol. The result of this is that a small amount of alcohol such as one drink sets off a craving for more. You state that when you drink, you totally overdo it and that is a strong sign that you have this physical craving for alcohol. A person who has this condition cannot control his or her drinking and the only solution is to quit drinking entirely. If the first drink is avoided, the craving for more cannot develop.

If you decide to stop drinking, you may find that all you need is willpower and determination. Posting and reading on DS and keeping in touch with other people on the forum may be helpful. For some people, staying sober can be more difficult and more is required. Many such people find that what was impossible to do on their own becomes possible with the help of Alcoholics Anonymous. You will see people running down AA on this forum and they are entitled to their opinions but its your life that is at stake so make up your own mind and dont rule out anything that could help you.

From my experience of alcoholism I would say that you are facing a serious problem. If you continue to drink, it is likely that the time between binges will keep getting shorter and that you will drink more during each session. Alcoholism is progressive so it keeps getting worse with time. The alternative is to quit drinking and to find a way of having a happy life without alcohol. This may seem difficult or impossible to you right now but countless numbers of drinkers have done it successfully already and you can do it too.

Drivin
g whilst under the influence of alcohol is not normal or reasonable behaviour. But of course you thought you would get away with it. The effects of alcohol makes you see the world differently. It tells you that you are ok when in fact you're in a very vulnerable position. If you had seen a friend that was intoxicated whilst you were sober trying to drive home, you would take the keys away because you know what the consequences can be when someone is drunk behind the wheel.

A person that doesn't have a problem with drink wouldn't say, I can do without it for weeks but when I do drink I end up blacking out and can't remember a thing.

If you got food poisoning from eating lobster, you would always remember that and keep well away from it, never to be eaten again. But when it comes to alcohol how bad does it have to get before you say this is ruining my life.

Most people that deny they are alcoholics, will say I never drink to get drunk. Whilst that might not be the result they were looking for, guaranteed by the end of the night they will be staggering as they walk and slurring as they speak.

If you really want to understand the illness and learn how to live life soberly, try going to a Alcohol Anonymous meeting, they have got female only meetings too. There you will find people with similar stories to you and people with long term healthy sobriety.
If you are serious about turning your life around before you start losing the things that you love, then it is time to take action.
Remember the DUI could be the start of a long slippery slope where there may be no coming back.

Recovery is not easy but it does give you a quality of life that you have never experienced before. Confidence and self-respect does not come from a bottle it comes from within.

I just quit recently, coming up on 30 days. I was not a daily drinker either, but I would occasionally drink too much and have blackout episodes similar to yours.
My husband has said the exact same thing about me and because it was coming from him I didn't listen. I felt like he was trying to control me because he really can be a judgmental person sometimes.Unfortunately I think he's the only one who was truthful and the only one close enough to see it.
I was terrified when I first posted here and probably was hoping I would be told I wasn't an alcoholic, but Instead I chose to quit, just try it and see because the responses I'd gotten, really made me think.
Now I feel like I can handle my relationship better,and I'm doing a lot of the things I put off to drink. I did not want to be labeled an alcoholic so I avoided confronting the issue, but the truth is nobody has to know but your boyfriend and your online group or AA.
I can tell you I feel so much freer not chasing the drink. I still have bad days, like today I was really craving because of stress, but I came on here instead. The freedom to find or reinvent yourself again is so worth it!

Thanks for your post Pearl and congratulations on your 30 days! We alcoholics come in many forms. I was a closet drinker and was very rarely flat-out hammered, but I was in a state of almost daily pickledness adn the booze was in control not me. I drank because I was an alcoholic. The "positives" were long gone... I love coming here and reading and sharing. Overexposuree, I hope you are OK. Would love to hear from you. Yours in the journey, PG

Sounds like you are. Time to heal. Welcome!!!