It will change if you work for it. Like you, I could be a barrell of laughs when I was drinking but little did I know that it was hurting me more then helping me. Like you, I was self medicating for the depression that was triggering my drinking and causing me to not be around others. It finally ended when I found myself in a hospital detox for 4 days and while there, I found this book called "The 12 steps for everyone, who really wants them", When I took the suggestions in this book, it help me to live a happier sober lifestyle. I also went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I was taught alot about my disease, what caused it and how to control it for the rest of my life.

That was 9 years ago. Today i have a great life and I have never been happier!

God Bless

Hello Warbucks,

You are very welcome to the DS forum.

When I was drinking, I could list many reasons why life without alcohol would be somewhere between difficult and impossible. What I did not know at the time is that excessive alcohol consumption distorts your way of thinking and in many ways, I was out of touch with reality.

I could also be the funniest guy in the room but there is often a thin line between having people laughing with you or laughing at you. Today, I don’t have to go out of my way to try and impress other people and I don’t have to be the centre of attention. Through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have learned to be happy with the person that I am and that brings a great sense of freedom. I have also come to observe that no matter what you do in this world, you cannot please everyone, and in the eyes of some people you will be wrong.

It can all change for you and putting the cork in the bottle is a good starting point. You may now need to explore ways of changing your thinking so that the allure of drinking becomes a thing of the past.

Without alcohol I did cover the middle road. I discovered that didn't need those extreme highs and extreme lows. I enjoy live. I am not the life of the party. I enjoy the party

I sobered up without the 12 steps. I did it on my own.

I relate to your post a lot. I only drink on weekends but I overdo it every time. And when not drinking, I feel like I’m very unsocial. Seems we’re on the same road. Hopefully we can both find a new way. Good luck . Thank you for sharing.

Thanks for the replies. I'm starting to realize I crave in-person social interaction-- but more the idea of it. When I'm actually in the situation, I am obviously too uncomfortable to handle it without a cocktail in hand. I envy those who (when sober) look as comfortable as I feel when I'm drinking. At the same time I know I will never achieve their level of comfort if I don't learn to interact sincerely without a drink in my hand. So I'm hoping to start with some online interaction and then replace the bar crawl with AA meetings. I got a DUI years ago and really enjoyed the sober meetings with my fellow drunks, so I did get a glimpse of being comfortable in a group while sober. I know it's out there, and I know it's possible. Thanks again.

The booze was the solution for my unease. I have this crazy feeling inside of less than and not good enough. With the inhibitions soaked in booze I was different. In reality I was just a pompus as and I knew everything about anything and was real good at letting you know it. The real issue was not the booze but the way I perceived life. Today I am a different person. I try to help others out instead of just sucking all the good from others and being a selfish person. I found the happiness is to be comfortable in my own skin and then there is no need to toss back booze in some dingy bar that I was wasting my life away inside. Today I enjoy life and dont need to drink.
1is2many

Interesting your comment "sucking all the good from others." I feel like that at times. I LOVE being with people who make me laugh, and I definitely return the favor. But if you don't serve me in that manner I'm just not excited to be around you-- it's like torture interacting with people who I am not partying with. It's all about me and what I enjoy. Truly self-centered.

Not sure why I'm much more comfortable interacting with people (and complete strangers) online.

Your comfortable because it’s anonymous, no one will judge, you’re not on the stage called life acting a fantasy - you are simply you!!! You probably don’t realise it but by being comfortable being YOU is a huge step toward facing the demons which cause your insecurities sober. You can do this and everyone here on DS help each other x

well, so far so good then. lol.

AA helped me transition from social drunk to sober social. It works. Glad you’ve had a taste of it.

Thanks Jeff. I didn't feel very social when I went to the AA meetings as part of the DUI requirements. Standing up and talking to a room of 30 people is not my idea of socializing, But I did like the small groups we were required to go to as part of the mandatory classes. I almost missed them when it was over. It was like being class clown in high school again. Very comfortable.

Well the DUI forced you into those rooms. There’s a big difference between that and walking in on your own volition.

I’m sure the old timers will recognize you and see that you’re walking in on your own.

Hey there! I could definitely relate. I wasn’t a frequent drinker but when I did drink I didn’t know how to stop. Got myself in a lot of trouble because of it. I too felt like I was more fun while drunk. When I first tried to get sober of my friends told me that I was boring. I’m kind of social awkward so in social situations what kept me calm was having a drink in my hand. Suddenly I was the life of the party and I no longer felt awkward. I had to learn how to be around people without alcohol. It’s possible. The key is finding people who don’t really drink. I’ve been hanging out with sober people and honestly I don’t think about alcohol as much anymore. I rarely even have cravings! Good luck on your journey and keep in touch! :)

-C