Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

4,518 Members

34,168 Posts

0 Online

juliemom2 04/09/2011

I'm new and just putting this out there. I'm 42, married with children and I have a drinking problem. When I say that, I immediately think of my dad, who had a drinking problem and died of cirrhosis when I was 18. He had been in and out of hospitals since I was 15. I resented him because I felt he chose alcohol over me. Now, I know it is not that simple. I have two children 10 and 9 y/o. I drink every evening and wake each morning with a hangover and feelings of guilt. My marriage and children are at risk. When I thought of stopping, I was worried about detox, (we are self employed with NO insurance) but I know know I can taper off if I have the self control to do so. That will be a battle, but I'm also aware that I don't know how to function without looking forward to drinking. I used to be a pretty decent mom. My home used to be clean, organized and decorated. I used to be proud of my home and family. Ok, this is long enough. I will work on writing a journal entry about the rest. Not because I want to bore you with my story, but I think it will be good for me to type it out. Does any body know what it's like to be where I am? Would love to here from you.

juliemom2

deleted_user 04/09/2011

I know it well. Not married, no children, but the feelings are the same. The bottle came before anything and everything. It consumed my thoughts always. Tapering off never worked. Once I had it, I wanted more.

Couldn't live with it, couldn't live without it. I reached out for help, called a friend and went back to AA. It was a life changer for me.

You can see where your father was. It's never a personal thing. If I could have stopped for my family and friends, I would have. I couldn't. Alcohol kicked my ass and brought me to my knees and it took what it took to admit I was defeated.

Keep posting. I wish you the best.

~Chris

juliemom2 04/09/2011

Thanks Chris! tapering didn't work for you? - so what did you do? Detox cold turkey? I have read with daily drinking it is dangerous to just quit cold turkey. I started tapering with results, but after a few days I felt I deserved " a good buzz or drunk". Bad idea, but at least I knew it was possible to taper. Thanks for the words about AA. Not sure it is for me, but willing to hear about it.

deleted_user 04/09/2011

Yes, I detoxed cold turkey. Not fun, so seek medical advice on that... could be risky.

juliemom2 04/09/2011

so AA helped? are you religious because I am not so much. Raised that way but no more. don't think AA would be helpful.

deleted_user 04/09/2011

AA is not religious. Try it before you condemn it.

deleted_user 04/09/2011

Hi Juliemom2, welcome to the group.

Your story is fairly common around here. That's the funny thing about listening to other alcoholics - the similarities.

One of the first times I realized I was drinking to much was when a relative commented about how my normally clean house had gottten a bit messy. She was right, It was beginning to show.

So I decided to taper off. Really I knew I could quit anytime, but why give up all the fun? And I was successfull for eight months. Felt great, got a new job, got in good shape, was in my dream relationship. Then a personal crisis hit and I went on a three year spree of progressively worse self destruction with alcohol.

It was my initial AA meeting that really drove me to stop. Meeting people with the same issues who are eager to help, who I could call when I needed to, makes this not such a lonely fight.

You don't have to jump into the program head first, just go to a meeting with an open mind and be willing to accept a helping hand if it's offered to you.

Ok, now I've bored you with my story ;)

Good luck to you, Juliemom2.

deleted_user 04/09/2011

Is there a detox facility in your area at all? In my area we have a few detox facilities: a place to stay and detox where you are watched so that nothing bad happens to you, like being babysat almost. Sounds not so attractive I am sure, but it is very helpful to many many people in your situation. Detoxing from alcoholc is no joke, and can be dangerous. I recommend finding and getting to a detox facility if possible. It seems you may be worried about finances, but a few days in detox may just save your life, and the ones in my area don't cost anything. Good luck, and you are definitely not alone in this hun.
hugs
JD

deleted_user 04/09/2011

My parents too were alcoholics and I swore I would never be like them. The thing is, as you have discovered, for an acloholic, it's not a choice. We don't wake up one day and say "hey, I think I'd like to be an alcoholic". We just are.

I was pissed too for a while when I realized I was one, since I swore I'd never be like my parents, but then I wasn't so pissed anymore when I discovered and accepted that it wasn't a choice, for them or for me.
Welcome to the board hun.
hugs
JD

juliemom2 04/09/2011

Thanks to all of you for the encouraging words and sharing your stories. It's so nice to read that I am not alone. I'm really thinking of going to an AA meeting to check it out.

CoogeeMum 04/09/2011

Hi Juliemom2, I'd encourage you to give AA a go. You and your children are worth the effort. Welcome to the group :}

Ashley8888 04/09/2011

I can definatly relate to your story...I dont have kids but watch my mom be an alcoholic and swore I'd never be like her....I did become like her...that really sucked for me to admit but it was also the start of changing it too....

Maybe just an honest talk with you doctor or a doctor at a clinic...maybe they can suggest ways of detoxing safely....
I was a night drinker and did it cold turkey but it was not fun : / I think the emotion part of it was really hard too....But AA has helped me a great deal...the people there are really amazing and the things I learned have helped me when nothing else could have....I tried to do it on my own for three years...nothing I tried worked for me...
This site was a huge help though...keep coming back and posting! The people here a great and know what its like....

stickywick 04/10/2011

I know exactly where you are. I am about the same age; I have three children 7 and under. I too got drunk every night, hung over every morning, then did it again almost every night regardless. My parents arent alcoholics but we had other big MAJOR family issues that led me to drinking and my sister to hard core drugs.
Anyway, if you are an alcoholic, which I believe myself to be, moderation doesnt work.
I also found I couldnt get sober, just dry, without help. It will be 2 weeks for me tomorrow and I've gone to AA almost every day/ night ( a meeting a day) and I've found a new lease on this life. I'm going to try to work all the steps, work the program, and turn it over to my higher power. everything else failed, but I believe this will work.

GOOD LUCK.

LindaJean 04/10/2011

juliemom - I drank every day to the point of passing out for years.

I didn't do detox or rehab but I did go to a lot of AA meetings. You might want to check with your doctor to find out if there is any reason that sudden withdrawal from alcohol might cause you problems.

If there is no physical problem involved - stopping should not be a problem.

It sounds like you are not liking yourself very much right now - and that you know alcohol is getting in the way of how you are taking care of you and your family. I'm sure you are right about that - since you drink daily.

AA is most definitely the easier, softer way of getting sober. There is tremendous support there and you will find a lot of like-minded people who want to help you on your way in sobriety. AA changed my life - it really does work.

juliemom2 04/10/2011

wow thanks for everyones kind words. I'm so glad to find others that identify with what I'm feeling and what I fear. I was convinced that AA was not for me since I am not religious, but from reading everyones comments, I think I should at least give it a shot. I am so grateful for the support and encouragement I have found here!

weinere46 04/10/2011

Dear JulieMom,
If you really want to fight this I think I may be able to help you. Give me a yell... Eric, 11 years clean and sober

Join the Conversation