Welcome LucidSky, glad you found us. Yeah, you describe perfectly what many of us experienced before we found the path to sobriety. Alcohol to calm the nerves in social gatherings, a way to relax and interact, that evolves into something we never bargained for. I knew for many years that it wasn't right for me, but didn't want to change or know how. Unfortunately for many, it's an arrest, divorce, job loss or health issue that finally wakes us up. I hope this isn't the case for you. I tried quitting on my own hundreds of times, but found that I didn't have a plan or strategy to see it through long term. AA and Refuge Recovery offered some alternatives that help me not only get sober, but begin and continue a recovery program to keep me from wanting to drink ever again. I've gone a year now and enjoy socializing and meeting friends without a drink in my hands or missing it. It took time, but I'm so glad I stayed with the program. It all starts with a simple decision, and it sounds like you want to make it. I wish you the best and hope you keep us posted on your progress!

Thank you, Kevin105! It's encouraging to read your comment. I really hope that a year from now I can feel secure without alcohol, too!

Your story sounds like mine. I didn’t drink every day but I didn’t feel comfortable around people sober. Oh affairs and regrettable behavior - oh yes.

There is hope. I’m 4.5 years sober.

Welcome. Keep sharing.

For me, it became a question of how much I was willing to do to get sober because once I decided, I had to be all in, or it wasn't going to work. If I got a call from a coworker who invited me over for beer, and, "we'll watch the ball game and play guitars, and drink beer" then I couldn't get in my car fast enough. So I had to be ready and willing to make some lifestyle changes in order to stay sober and at first, it seem very daunting to say the least!

13 years ago, I went into detox for a drug problem. It was a condition of keeping my job. My employer talked me into it as he knew how bad my problem was. I wasn't in detox because I wanted to be there and that was problem number one. I did not participate in any counseling when I left detox. I thought the only good thing about detox at the time was that I met some nice people who gave me some drugs when we were discharged. At one point I spent 3 days in the hospital and nearly died from a drug overdose. I am convinced, it was Divine Intervention that gave me a second chance at life which is another story in itself and I won't get in to it here, but I continued to do drugs for another year. I know I have these times mixed up because I was spaced out most of the time but after my first time in detox, I continued to do drugs for another year roughly and I started drinking when I could no longer find pills.

Now, addiction is like being on a one way train ride that's guaranteed to crash at the end of the line. The day I crashed was a day I will never forget. I lost my job, had severe financial problems and my wife had filed divorce papers on me. She came home and I was past out on the couch and ....long story short, the police were involved. I didn't go to jail but was taken to detox for the second time in my life. This time for drinking. I felt at the time that I had absolutely nothing to live for. I was about as low as I could go so I was ready to do everything it took, to pull myself out of the deep hole I dug.

After detox, I went through a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) where I was treated for the underlying problems that triggered my drinking problems such as depression and ptsd. I also learned new coping skills,

After the IOP, I had 3 months of once a week, relapse prevention, group counseling where I learned what my triggers were and how to handle them.
Throughout all the treatment I had, regular attendance at AA meetings were a requirement. The 12 steps of AA were a continuation of what I learned through counseling. I got a sponsor and we became best friends as I was on the phone with him daily in the first few months when my sobriety was still in a fragile state. When ever I had a craving, he knew exactly what to say to me to help me through it.

That was 10 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier!

In answer to your question, There is no shortage of advice and suggestions, because there are lots of people willing to help but you can't be afraid to ask!

Good luck on your road to Recovery and may you find lots of motivation along the way!

God Bless

Thank you for sharing your story. It's inspiring to be here and read about so many people who have dug themselves out of that hole.

I want know I want a drink right now, but I want to get better even more. I had 7 drinks last night by myself. I don't know how or why I did that. But I can't keep doing this to myself.

If you want to know the reasons why we tend to drink when we know it is bad for us to do so, someone posted a list of the underlying issues. It would be interesting to see if you can find the ones that fit you:

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/alcoholism/discussion/factors-associated-with-relapse

God Bless

Alcohol is a drug. I was very addicted to how it made me not feel. It took some action but today I didn’t
I found help in aa. It was the way I was able to quit and be happy.
1is2many

Tried and tested - that first drink starts the craving for more that’s why 1 is too many and 1000 is never enough.
Soberiety is life changing ..... for the better. Yes, you have to make adjustments and avoiding social gatherings in early recovery may be one of the things you may need to consider .... but what would you rather do? Go to the event, get leathered and behave atrociously or stay away and wake up the next morning remembering what you did last night? X

Hi Lucid. Do the social events involve alcohol? If so, i would suggest not attending any of those events if you are sincere about getting sober. I learned that my nervousness in social situations during early sobriety had more to do with the situation and less to do with me. So, situations involving alcohol were cut out and I discovered I'm not as nervous being sober when I'm with sober people. Our disease tells us we need alcohol to socialize, to create etc...I've even heard "I drive a lot better when I'm drunk." So it even tells us we need alcohol to drive. Effing madness! Simply, it's not true and you will learn this if you decide you've had enough pain. A better life waits for you. What are you willing to do to get it?

If you've been a daily drinker for 6 years you should probably have a physician involved with your process of transitioning to sobriety. The chemical dependency dimensions are pretty serious and you can do harm by quitting cold turkey without some medical oversight. Maybe your daily intake wasn't high enough for that.

I was drinking everyday - 12-18 drinks per day towards the end....morning and evening. Total physical dependency.

My last drink was 21 years ago this month. One day at a time.