welcome.....the desire to not drink is needed in order to stop....stopping to get the wife back might work but more than likely it will not work.....if you want the life to become a sober life that can happen for you and it may or maynot improve your marriage....many of my alcoholic friends stayed together with wifes who wanted to walk out or did only to return....

the main idea is total abstinence from alcohol....the first drink will just cause more drinking if your anything like me....

Keep the plug in the jug and welcome to DS Alcoholism group....

Thanks Bill.... i dont wanna stop to bring her back. I just have been screwing things up repeatedly this is just one of those things.

I'll never forget the first time I went online to talk to someone about my addiction. I was still in denial and I just wanted someone to tell me that I really didn't qualify as someone who had a serious problem so I wanted someone to enable me, in other words but, to my surprise, I heard something completely different.

As fate would have it, I found myself talking to an emergency room physician who was a recovered alcoholic, himself and he proceeded to tell me, all the negative things that alcohol was doing to my body and it scared the hell out of me! We talked for a long time so it must have been a slow nite in the ER. He was one of many great people I met in recovery. Those who had been in my shoes and knew axactly what I was going through. Those were the only ones I wanted to be near in my recovery, those who could guide me every step of the way.. I met alot of people like that in AA and I even changed doctors to one who was a former alcoholic and attended meetings.

As an after thought, I asked the doctor if it was true, that 10% of all physicians were alcoholics and he said no, it's more like 50%! Pretty scary!

Good luck on your road to recovery.

God Bless

You thought right. You can take steps to relieve you of an alcohol addiction. That is common with alcoholics, we work hard to tidy things up, then the reward anticipated from others approval makes things "alright" again, and our brains incorrectly tell us it is ok to drink, and it might be alright. That sounds like what happened to you. Either your wife coming back made you excited or feel safe enough to drink again, and you did, and all of the sudden, she wasn't interested in returning, the alcoholism killed her hope in a happy union. And in this case a happy reunion.

Have no fear though sir, we can help, AA can help, other programs can help, tons of help, in this world. I think this is a good reference point for you going forward in where your wife clearly has more of a problem with you drinking and alcoholism inside of you, than a dirty house. A dirty house is part of it, but the real reason she is leaving is alcoholism. There is a solution, and it is accepting you are powerless to stop, but also believing in another way that can aid in you stopping, and allowing you to live the life you want, a happy and peaceful union with you wife.

I humbled myself and accepted that AA was created for a person like me, and despite it not being "cool" or it being "taboo" for some in society (mostly people themselves too sick to be helpful) I had to give it a try, and it turned out to be a great friend instead of the enemy my alcoholism was warning me it was.

Booze was an anchor and it was dragging me down. I was addicted to it and had to have it every day to feel normal. Also it was like a filter that made life go away. Well quitting was the best ting I ever did. I couldn’t imagine life without it then but now life has much more to experience and in the end I am glad I got sober.
1is2many

Go to an AA meeting.

Thank you for posting this. I can tell you see that your drinking is a problem. Welcome to the club. The good news is there is help out there. The question is do you have the courage to seek that help and overcome your addiction? Because, in reality, what is more important than your marriage? A few drinks? Feeling buzzed? Ticking everyone off around you? Causing discontent? Starting fights? Feeling horrible because you did so? Or spending your life with someone who loves you? It's your choice. Many people struggle with alcohol. There are groups that meet regularly and have very successful track records. But the first step in all of them has to be made by you. You have to want to change and make that commitment. Or, you can go through life alone, and deal with what's left in the wake when you drink. I hope you make the right choice.