Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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BigBookBob
BigBookBob

I have a friend... We've been friends since we were like 9. On my paper route I ran into him on some side street and he kicked my ass. He bloodied me good... Punched me square in the face and we became friends like that many years ago.


We hung around alot during my teens... Did alot of drugs... and then in my 20s I met a girl and we just kinda stopped hanging out for many years... Someone gave me his number around 4 years ago and I started hanging out with him again.


I guess my point is I really know this guy... We're pretty close, but right now I'm really feeling no love for him.


Ya see this guy drinks to live and lives to drink. Sounds kinda clich'e but thats how it is.


He has a twenty something son who is slightly mentally disabled whom he constantly berates calling him a "fuckin piece of shit " and a "retard" all day every day. His son has used my home as a respite over the past two weekends to escape the abuse of his father. I have a friend who says I should contact the Department of Developmental Services but I'm afraid to get too involved.


I don't know what to do. The story goes much deeper than I have the energy to even write.


The kid spent the last 4 days lazing around watching movies in my home. His father just came to get him and started bitching as soon as he walked in the door, so I stood up for what I think is right and asked them to leave.

Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
If he is a ward of the state meaning he gets a disability pension for being mentally disabled then you need to report it the the dept of Human services. Or you can call the crisis hotline and they can recommend other options...

Good luck.
Daisy39
Daisy39
If you are “really close” ask your friend if he is feeling stressed about the responsibility he thinks he has with his son,....maybe he feels he will never “launch”. Maybe he just needs to be pointed in the right direction to connect with the right supports....., such as Developmental Services......so he can tap into the love he has for his son, rather than feeling frustration. (Cursing him). Have your friend do the “involved” work. It takes a community to raise a child....especially developmentally delayed.

On the other hand, It’s a hard call not knowing if your friend is using his sons disability pension to feed his addiction as well. That may become apparent should you decide to have the discussion. In that case, have you considered giving the young lad the number to call for assistance?

Just some thoughts.
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
In his alcohol mind he may see his sons issues as a reminder of his own inadequacies which could explain the anger. My daughter has some mental health issues and it was hard for me to be present to her suffering. Sobriety has given me more patience and compassion. Also my damaged ego isn’t in play to mistake her problem for mine. I tended to see her bad choices as my own. Bad cycle.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
I have decided I'm done with this whole situation. They are no longer welcome in my home. I will get a letter of disinvite if I have to.

Thanks for all the great advice. I can see that the knee jerk reaction was to report my friend. After much thought I've chosen to disengage instead. And then there is also psychobabble. Guess I asked for it. I asked for help. My own fault. I thought you guys could help me with a difficult decision, but I guess that was a silly idea to begin with.
ranger550
ranger550
You have to put a stop to this. Your friend is a real jerk. His son should not have to be treated like this.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
Two are concerned that he receives government benefits and base your opinions on that alone. I almost reported it but it is more complex than I can explain. I think turning in your friend and possibly getting yourself killed is a bad idea.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
This kid wears Levis and Kahart… He eats well. There is no indication his father is wasting the measly $400.00 he gets a month. I don't know why anyone would attach a false narrative to the situation as described but... To reiterate... He is verbally and emotionally abusive. No one said he was stealing money. You made that shit up.
1is2many
1is2many
Typical behavior for someone in the throws of alcoholism, life is too much for him so he has the bottle to make it go away. Does he smoke as well? My humble opinion is to cease contact and don’t call the state. When someone bothers me the reason is usually they eExhibit behaviors that I used to do and seeing that bothers me.
stepone
stepone
BigBookBob.....I have a feeling you are the "friend." Nice try.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
Wow! That was a really fucked up accusation.
stepone
stepone
Just following your lead bbb. All you do is come on here and try to get people worked up. Quit f*cking with people who are on here for help.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
That's bullshit.
BigBookBob
BigBookBob
stepone is a good example of AA in action.
stepone
stepone
That's the first nice thing you've ever shared on this site. Thank you.
JacquelineConti
JacquelineConti
Need A call or a group right now.. no one understands that I am having a relapse and want a drink,, it is what happens. Jacqueline... female, single
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