Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So, I have been sober almost three years now and in AA...
Recently my niece, who is 17 years old has come to stay with me. Her mother (my step sister) is an addict and in an abusive relationship...my niece could not handle it anymore. Her father is also an addict also who has faced many consequences and does not have custody of them at all...though is involved in their lives. He is constantly texting me, telling me they need to be with him and I am not good for them...he is the father...I stopped responding to him for awhile due to sponsors advice...my sister wont talk to me at all....we haven't really talked in two years.
So, my question...she is 17, and on break from high school...she works a job as well.....she really has not been here much, since being out of school...I have told her I need to know where she is every night...she does text me....Is this enough? During school she is here every night on the week, weekends are different...she has never had much discipline...I am not sure what rules she should have....I am not a parent, but her father is saying that I am "letting her run a muck" and threatening me and her by taking her car away... She is a good kid but I do worry that maybe I am not doing enough, that i am too much of her friend...but I am not her mother and not sure how the relationship should be anymore
Thank you for any advice...I will talk to my sponsor again as well, just stressed after texting with her father and probable should not have responded to him.
Recently my niece, who is 17 years old has come to stay with me. Her mother (my step sister) is an addict and in an abusive relationship...my niece could not handle it anymore. Her father is also an addict also who has faced many consequences and does not have custody of them at all...though is involved in their lives. He is constantly texting me, telling me they need to be with him and I am not good for them...he is the father...I stopped responding to him for awhile due to sponsors advice...my sister wont talk to me at all....we haven't really talked in two years.
So, my question...she is 17, and on break from high school...she works a job as well.....she really has not been here much, since being out of school...I have told her I need to know where she is every night...she does text me....Is this enough? During school she is here every night on the week, weekends are different...she has never had much discipline...I am not sure what rules she should have....I am not a parent, but her father is saying that I am "letting her run a muck" and threatening me and her by taking her car away... She is a good kid but I do worry that maybe I am not doing enough, that i am too much of her friend...but I am not her mother and not sure how the relationship should be anymore
Thank you for any advice...I will talk to my sponsor again as well, just stressed after texting with her father and probable should not have responded to him.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Example...
I live with my mom. I'm 34. If I leave the house I tell her where I'm going and approximately how long I'm going to be gone so she doesn't worry. If I'm not back when I say I'm going to be back then in an hour or so she knows something's wrong.
Also thanks for posting because one slip and I could be that guy instead of being there for my kids.
Prayers
In actuality she would probably welcome some rules and order. Just lead with a loose reign ...
I have requested my 17 & 19 year old keep me informed of their plans (location and times) out of common courtesy and respect. While you may not be her parent, it is your home and you have the right to set the boundaries. Her part is to be responsible and follow them. That is not unreasonable. Time for a loving heart to heart chat with her.
Block the dad's number; if he wants to know what's going with her, he can ask her. Neither of you two need that kind of input.
Until the individual is age 18, the parents are obligated to support them unless the court has terminated the obligation somehow.
You are in dangerous territory here. I would seek legal advice. At least call Child Protective Services, or whatever they call it where you are.
Best of luck to you. I hope it works out.
I'd see an attorney in family issues.