Thank you for sharing Jeff - a very positive post which could have had such a different ending for so many alcoholics x

It took me almost 7 years, to give up alcohol. Sometimes I drank after 1 to 6 months. I even made 18 months, without drinking .The benders lasted several days. I stuffed my emotions. When I drank, they came pouring out, in an irrational fashion.

I was grateful for the days that I was sober.

It took me those seven years to learn:
To understand me.
To stop grasping
To learn acceptance
To realize that the only person that I can change is myself.
To understand the impermanence of life.
a. Happiness Is not permanent
b. Suffering is inevitable
c. Accept the roller coaster of life.

Amen impermanence.

She woke up expecting me to be angry with her. Was immediately defensive of how I used to do that frequently.

I read her what I wrote here. She was grateful. It's great to have gratitude.

So you saw a reflection of yourself, the way you use to be and you had compassion for her. By having compassion for your wife, you had compassion for yourself which is equally important.

God Bless

I know that feeling, when someone wrongs us and we have nothing but forgiveness, love, and tolerance for their actions.

You're wife is going to remember not being drunk, but how you responded to her being drunk, and it will make you're relationship much stronger.

Resentment is the "number one offender" and I am not just saying that because it is literally said that way in the book. Resentment directly cuts us off from experiencing the greatest life possible.

For years now I thought my "ill feeling" was fear. I see now that it is resentment, I am resentful much more than recovery suggests I be.

Right now someone keeps running up the stairs where I live and it's making the foundation shake, and it is happening over and over and over again, it's like they are training for a sport or something how often it is occurring. It is making me very resentful, and it is making me resentful because when I woke today I assumed I would have a peaceful day where I could rest.

I have to remember, I am making myself resentful, not the person on the stairs, if I inventory the situation with honesty. That person is just living their life on the terms life has given to them. I choose not to live my life when I am choosing resentment.

The story about your wife gave me hope and also made me remember those days when I wasn't so "important" like I see myself as today, wrongly, so often. I need to see others not doing so well as just as important as me wanting to keep resentment out of my life.

Thanks for participating.

well said impermanence. still trying to learn the lesson of impermanence in this lifetime. Not sure, but it may take a couple more...

Amen to this post. Jeff, I see so much growth and self awareness in your posts.

My brother sobered up over 9 years ago. His wife still drinks. He complains about it a lot. Unfortunately for him, he never worked the 12 Steps so he just doesn't get it. It's sad for me to know that he never forgave himself.

You're wife is one lucky woman to have you. Hugs to you kiddo, Dianna

That is a powerful statement in loyalty. Are you trying to get help through other means to get you through this? Prayer does change things. I will keep you and your family in prayer.

There's nothing to get through. I don't pray. God didn't get me drunk. He isn't going to get me sober. I see people come in to AA routinely that tried church.

The higher power is within me. It's in the form of awareness, accountability, and calm to know the difference between right and wrong. It's the result of removing my character defects and living a resentment free life.

My wife can drink whenever, and it doesn't bother me. It isn't a challenge to be around alcohol. But I'm in my mid 40's and I'm wise enough to know, enough is enough. I'll take 4 years chip in a week.

Diana, appreciate the warm thoughts. Thank you.

thank you for posting this.
I'm glad you shared it.
wishing everyone the best!

I had a similar experience with my hubby on our vacation this summer. He kept apologizing for getting wasted at the end of the night. I just told him it was his vacation and he wasn't the one with the problem with alcohol that was me. He rarely has more than 1 beer and he can take it or leave it.

Humbled by your resolve and understanding Jeff. Thanks for the share...