I'm curious what people's body's reaction is to alcohol if you drink after having accumulated a decent amount of sobriety. Like most people I got a chunk of sobriety and toyed with the idea of being able to casually drink after being an alcoholic. I was hoping to be able to keep my drinking to strict rules like only if I'm out with friends or going on a date, only if I'm not driving, and only having one or two and then stopping. I've tried this about 4 times after accumulating a chunk of sobriety and my results have concluded I don't think this is ever going to happen. I say this not because I think I'll be buying beer the next day, drinking until bar close, or going back to my old ways...I'm talking that my body just doesn't accept alcohol anymore.

I used to think the allergy talk was complete BS but I'm starting to understand. The first time I tried this was on a Friday night, I bought a six pack and was going to drink 2 beers, I ended up having 3, pouring the 4th and taking a few sips out of it, dumping it, going to bed, and dumping the remaining two in the morning. The next time I tried this I bought a 4 pack of good beer and drank all of them and was horribly hung over the next day. I tried it twice more buying only a 24oz Sierra Nevada Pale Ale and both times did this during the week. I had a similar reaction each. In all my experiences the first sip was a love hate thing, it was so good on one hand and on the other hand it was like "hmm i don't really even miss this as much as I thought I would." Then I'd get a beer or two in and the feelings would be "well this feels ok but I don't really feel better I just feel cloudy and groggy." Both times when I had the 24oz beers it was enough to satisfy my craving but I would just go to bed after they were gone. I didn't like the feeling after 2 beers and I think when I was abusing alcohol I'd continue to drink because of that.

So my point, EVEN with just 2 beers. I'd have them, feel the craving subside but not like how I feel and go to bed. I'd fall asleep immediately and both times the alcohol triggered horrible anxiety that night. I slept like crap both nights I did this and basically had a panic attack all night. I remember both times I tried this I woke up horribly dehydrated, underslept, and felt like I went out and got wasted. I could feel the shakes returning, I could feel that gaggy-dehydrated can't eat feeling returning, and I spent the next day being hung-over off of 2 beers, the mild withdrawal symptoms were back again and they were back after having done this ONCE. I wouldn't feel normal until I got through the day and went to bed again. Last time I did this it was like 36 hours after I drank that I didn't feel like I just came off a 3 day weekend party where I drank a twelve pack 3 days in a row and this is off of TWO BEERS!

People in AA say if they take one drink they'll go back to how it was before immediately like a cannon shot them to their old ways but sometimes it's much worse. My experience with this isn't that I'm going to be drinking day after day and being the drunk I used to be. My experiences is that my body reacts horribly to alcohol and me going back to my old ways is just that, I think I can have 2 beers well that comes with a price of a shitty sleep, an anxiety attack, being hung over like I drank a six pack the next day, and the withdrawal symptoms. In my wildest dreams I never would've guessed that even having a couple beers would bring up the nausea and the shakes but that's what happened.

So I'm glad I tried this experiment. I'm not recommending anybody go and do it but I wasn't content being sober thinking "maybe just maybe I can pull this off and things will be different" Well I pulled it off and things were different, I can't socially drink because I'm allergic to alcohol, something in my body has changed and now I can't even tolerate two beers without a bunch of nasty side effects. That is why today I'm happy to be sober and that is why I'm going to remember this experience next time I get a craving and CHOOSE not to drink.