I am so glad you posted about this because I am going through similar things.

I just attended my first Halloween party sober last weekend and found it to be enjoyable. My friends were drinking a lot but I wasn't. I found myself to be quieter and more reserved then my friends but it seemed to be okay. I was glad I was able to stay in control of myself and not do anything stupid.

Luckily my friends wanted to leave rather early, as did I. If you are attending any party sober, leaving early before the really heavy drinking starts is usually a good idea.

I am probably going to another Halloween party sober again this weekend and it will probably be the same drill. Except this is a late night one.

I think it's good to still go to social events sober if your partner and friends support your sobriety. It's good not to get too isolated in sobriety. In time you learn how to hang out sober and you will find it's actually preferable because you are always a step ahead of everyone else at the party.

Another tip I can give you is have something to drink that's nonalcoholic that you can drink while everyone else is having booze. Like Pellegrino, juice, a mixer, whatever you want to bring or is available. My first couple of parties I attended sober I brought two bottles of Pellegrino water that I drank and other people used as mixers. It really helps to have a substitute beverage.

Hello!

I feel your pain, it will be my first in a long time as well. I am choosing to just devote the night to my daughter who will be trick-or-treating. I'm going to keep busy with a big meal planned, fire place going and a good movie. For me at this time, it's probably best I just avoid those situations for a little longer, although you are more days "in" being sober then I am. It's still just not worth it. I have a friend coming on Saturday to work on some stuff with me, she will most certainly be drinking, so I am working up the courage to tell her I will only be drinking club soda or something. She's a good friend, but also a trigger, something I have to get used to. If you have to ask yourself the question if you need permission, I think that's your gut instinct telling you to politely decline ;)

Quit acting like you are missing out on something! CELEBRATE YOUR SOBRIETY. YOU ARE FREE OF THE CHAINS NOW. If you feel like you are missing out on something, you will never be comfortable around alcohol and it will continue to haunt your thoughts. Alcohol is no longer a part of your life and that is a good, good thing.

I was just thinking about your post again and it occurs to me that if we substituted "smoking" everywhere you used "alcohol" it might be enlightening. For example;

I just celebrated 30 days without smoking and tomorrow night my wife and I will be going to our neighborhood annual Halloween bash. We have a lot of good friends there and I'm pretty sure they all smoke -- and some quite heavily. Two of my neighbors already know about my condition (just told them last weekend) and are accepting of it. Although when I told them, they were both rather sauced on nicotine. I really have not been tempted to smoke and don't feel I will be tomorrow night but if I am, it is a short walk home. I want to see my friends and I know they support me and I know my wife wants to go as well (she is a social smoker and usually only has 2, maybe 3 cigarettes all night). I guess I am not looking for permission to attend but does anyone else remember their first big friend's bash after they quit smoking and how they handled it?

I don't mean to make light of your post PG, but only a few short years ago smoking was as socially accepted as drinking remains today. Both are harmful to your health, but alcohol seems to been given a waiver by society. Go enjoy Halloween with your neighbors and feel good that you are not ingesting a substance that will harm your body and mind. You don't need to offer excuses, none are required for exercising common sense. Simple as that?

This can be very daunting! I'm sure most of us remember our first experience going to a party after becoming sober. I almost had a nervous breakdown! It's normal to be nervous. I agree with the reply to try and have something to drink in your hand, water, pop. We usually worry ourselves into a frenzy about this and then the evening turns out fine and no one else really cares that we aren't drinking. I'll be thinking of you tonight, good luck, congratulations on 30 days!!

The fear is normal. I would be all anxious at every first. And quitting in June my first was a Halloween , of course! What I did was have a huge tumbler of mixed pelligrigio. Then I would also make a tall coffee to take. I always had something in my hand.

The thing is nobody worries about anything but themselves. My mind was all 99.9 percent of things that didn't happen

Oh and my response to when asked

I don't drink normally...

And an exit strategy, I will leave before it gets sloppy and go home and be so happy I didn't cave. You can do it. Have fun!

1is2many