Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I joined this group because I am trying yet again to get myself sober and I was searching for stories of People's "bottle stashes" (empty and full" I was looking for healthy shame. I am ashed. I 100% admit I am an alcoholic. My last sober streak was 8 days earlier this month. I broke it when I went to clean out my hidden bottle all of which I though were empty. My hubby was sick in bed with the flue and so I was using housework to keep busy and sober. When I get bored and lonely is when I drink the worst. Anyway when I was removing my bottle, happy I was cleaning it out, I can across a Port bottle with just a healthy slug in, and God help me, I thought "Can't waste it" and just poured it down my throat without even considering it. That part that scares me that I continued to drink the rest of the day, starting with a glass of wine after that prort, a beer at the pub on the corner, a glass of Sherry with dinner (I had walked to the Liqueur Store) and then more endless wine at a friends house later. They remarked on my slurring even though I'd only had a couple" I drove home drunk (something I never do). Spent Yesterday in bed with the hubby, who just assumed I had the flu too now. I have gotten scared before (like when I was cooking drunk in October and burned myself, sobriety lasted almost a month that time) but I am currently ashamed and terrified. I know you will all tell me to go to AA or reach out to my family but I am still not able (ready) to. Still I am starting here, by reaching out anonymously on the web. I am a high functioning alcoholic with no denial. I have know this about myself for years. I have bi-polar and an additive personality in general. 8 years ago it was gambling (which I have kicked). 12 years ago it was risky sex. Sorry for the TMI.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
It is good that you are hear, looking for help and ready to get sober. Obviously, given your history of other "bad" behavior you are familiar with the work required to get sober.
For me they key was admitting that I had to stop drinking completely. Even though I would say that I wanted too I would always think "I can moderate" but of course, I never could. As soon as I would have the first drink I would want more and then I'd end up passing out (usually.) My drinking was effecting my marriage as my wife was quite fed up with me and my behavior when I was drinking.
You can do this and the fact that you started in the past is great. The thing you have to do - and this is what I did - is remove all of the alcohol in your house on DAY 1!
When I did that we gave away the wine and little bit of hard liquor that we had in the house (as opposed to throwing it away.) That has been a huge thing for me because if there is no alcohol in our house I can't try to "sneak" some when my wife is out or already asleep, etc.
Good luck!
Rich
Sounds like a good sugestion from rwmorey get it all out of the house
How would your Husband be about that Have you come clean with him yet admitting it to another person is a great step forward Best wishes
I think this is a wonderful first step in getting yourself the help and support that you need. I can relate with the addictive personality as I too have cross-addicted with many things over the years. It's all symptoms of the same underlying issues, IMO. Have you ever considered counselling? Sorry that you are also dealing with bi-polar. It must be very difficult for you....
Glad you are here! Keep posting and let us know how you are doing:)
Jen
It looks like you are doing what I did after I stopped drinking admitting to being an alcoholic but not accepting it.
The only bottle stash I had was empty ones and the problem was getting them out of the house without arousing suspicion. After I quit drinking a friend who knew of my reputation gave me what seemed like an ideal gift two bottles of expensive malt whiskey. Being a lover of good whiskey I didnt want to pour them down the drain or give them to someone who would not appreciate the product so those bottles remained in the house for months. By this time I had been going to AA meetings and had not just admitted to being an alcoholic. I accepted it. I knew why I drank in the way that I did and I knew what would happen if I took one drink. Once I accepted that reality, no bottles would tempt me.
Healthy shame might keep you sober for a short time and fear of drinking could help too. However, neither is a long term solution to the problem and if your sobriety is based on that foundation, you will probably drink again. The drinking episode that you have described is an excellent example of a craving for alcohol. A person who has that condition cannot drink safely. The big question now is are you ready to accept this new reality? You are dealing with an extremely serious issue so I would urge you to rule nothing out.
The elevator can take you right down to the bottom floor or you can choose to get off now. It starts with acceptance, then a willingness to do whatever it takes, even if that means going to AA meetings.
1is2many
The abotle stash ; Oh yes hidden everywhere, if alcohol is put in front of us we will drink it, no doubt. Once I was in rehab, come home for weekend leave, found a can in the linen cupboard, and drank the bastard. i had to go back to rehab and by then luckly I blew 00 when the breatholized me. Anyway when I came home and finished rehab, I had it in my mind that I needed to finish that drinking session and I did.
Its a hard road, and I lasped over a week ago but this year I have been sober 82 days out of ninety, so I don't beat myself up, I move forward and remind myself of where a sniff of that shit takes me, to hell.
Keep going, one step at a time