When I was proofreading what I wrote yesterday I was saying, "man I thought I was a much better writer."  LOL, I posted it anyway kind of like I was disciplining myself knowing if anyone intelligent read it, them telling me I should be embarrassed, would be, 100 percent correct, lol.  I guess I'm seriously addicted to pain just as much as I was seriously addicted to alcohol, and the thought that a drug, makes everything ok.  All Lies.      

I was reading more in the Into Action chapter and I like the part where it says to ask yourself if when sharing your life or who you are with another person, asking yourself if you left anything out or kept anything to yourself, could possibly save your life.  Maybe not so much save your life, or save a life, but make advancment into whatever the most electable possibilty there is to offer, a reality.  

I think of money, sex, and how popular I am, in where I am to be honest with another person, preferably a stranger, who has no interest prior in me, or what I do, or what I was.  When I was Into Action, or doing my 5th step, I really was locked in about telling my support group, or the foundation that was holding me and securing me, everything, I thought, was a flaw in me.  I found that most of the things others who do not necessarily know, thought were flaws, God and this life might have saw as, cures oddly enough.  Judgment of what I am, or what I do, or who I had become, wasn't as important as my dedication to be honest and thorough.  

This idea that we or I, was in a pact, if you will, with God now, in where, fear, will no longer be an asset, was another great reason why I had to be honest, and open about what I believed to be problematic, and causes for serious worry in my life.  I found that I was incredibly close minded and couldn't consider other perspectives on the hinderances, and I also discovered conversing with help, that everything I and a lot of others found to be big deals, were not, and the only big deal was really taking this idea of being open and honest with help or support, seriously and a priority.  

I found that my mind, or ego, or decision making process if you will, was at times, too interested in making the decisions outside of help, or outside of other considerations, to allow an advancment, but I also knew that whenever I do make or did make solo decisions, if I knew the effect of that, it also can serve a purpose, notwithstanding, this though, of needing to create an apparatus that with sure bets removes fear, and makes life more enjoyable.  I guess what I am trying to say is I now had a choice if I wanted to secure myself, which God had now allowed removing my evaluation of alcohol and it's affects, or at least, downgrading it's importance, or if I wanted to allow another person of support outside of myself, to create a secure division to rely on, whenever I want or wanted to.  Definitely a win-win step, or place in time, of the progression or stabilization, of how I have become who I am today, someone who has a decent comprehension of how Into Action can be supplemented into a person's life to simply help and make one enjoy their own personal experience just a bit more.