Hi Rich -- Happy Monday to you too. Had a great w/e in upstate NY visiting my daughter at college and catching her school's big rivalry football game, having a nice dinner with her and then coming back home yesterday. It's helpful that you admitted to having a few sips of something. Some of the old-timers at my group would probably say, "well, you need to start over again" but only you can be the judge of that kind of stuff. What I have heard from many many folks with years of sobriety is that the first time you pick up again, no matter how small the quantity, the worst thing that can happen is... nothing happens. So I guess I am saying, be VERY vigilant with yourself today and coming here and posting is awesome. We're all in this together like a giant stand of redwoods. They all need each other's roots to help support them. Make it a great day brother! PG

Hey PG --

Thanks for the response. I'm not planning to start over on my day count. I debated about admitting here that I had champagne on Saturday since it was two or three sips. When I was thinking about it I could almost equate it to back when I was a practicing Catholic and would receive communion that included the wine. I wonder, do sober Catholics not partake in the wine at communion?

Anway, I decided that I would rather be honest with everyone here as I am the only one "counting" for me. And if the few sips was going to lead to bad behavior it would have happened Saturday night because I know for me the thing that makes the "temptation" to drink the worst is when I've had that first glass of wine or that first cocktail. Its much easier to not drink when I've not had anything to begin with.

Rich

I'm sorry, if you don't take the count seriously, why count at all?

If I do just a line of cocaine, have I done drugs or not?
Did Bill Clinton have sexual relations with ML or not?
When can you lie to your wife?

In the end everyone has to work a program that keeps to their sobriety, but to claim that you're on day XX when you aren't sober seems a little silly.
Sober Catholics do not drink the wine.

They never touch alcohol again.


If your goal is not to get drunk, congrats. I hope you find you can return to alcohol to a level that is fitting and acceptable for you.

I cannot.

Reminds me of a guy, who may be late 40s, but looks 65+ who comes to our meetings drunk. Last week he took a 60 day chip. People laughed, then pulled him aside telling him that's not the way.

Sadly he's only lying to himself, and alcohol will likely take his life.

So Rich I guess the question is, who is the count for, and what does it mean?

Hi Rich. Congratulations to you on Day 12. I think the most important information in your post was that you didn't drink after you returned home from your celebration. You have indicated in other posts that drinking at home was where you ran into trouble. I know that was the case for me. I could "behave" out in public, but once I got home, no limits to how much I'd drink.

If counting days works for you, the by all means, continue. I don't consider a few sips of champagne a relapse. A few months ago, I took a drink out of my brother's cup of gin and water because I suspected that he was lying when he said it was plain water (and it was.) Just sniffing didn't work because the cup already had had gin in it. Anyway, I don't consider that a "relapse."

I'm glad that you came here and told us.

Good for you but that would drive me mad. I wanted the buzz, the feeling of no feelings. I wanted to get wasted!!!

I always worried what would happen if the toast was in order or what. The one time we did get comped some wine at a concert I just poured some red bull in my glass and toasted. Everybody around the table just looked at me and toasted anyways. I wasn't ashamed and those friends are not even aware in an alcoholic. I don't have to worry about it. I'm sober and happy.

I have to say though that there's always going to be a reason, wedding, bday etc, and the disease will wait for that time when I have my guard down and pounce

If I'm not in the right mindset I'm f 'd

1-2

BC,

Lots of different thinking on cooking with it.

The science shows that when you cook with alcohol, the alcohol is removed from the product in the process.

For me, there's no issue using it in recipes. The alcohol is long gone before it touches my lips.

However I have heard stories from people who have relapses drinking/tasting vanilla extract.

Hi Buddhacat. I've been cooking with wine with no problems. Some recipes just "aren't" without the necessary addition of various kinds of alcohol.

RW,

I am a practicing Catholic, and yes, I participate in the Eucharistic Sacrament under both species. The Body and The Blood, the bread and the wine. There are several practicing Catholics in my home group; some take the Blood of Christ, some don't. It is personal preference and does not negate one sobriety.

However, though, if I intentionally had a couple of sips of champagne, I would consider my sobriety busted.

buddhacat,

My chicken cacciatore isn't cacciatore without the white wine. :)

awesome job on keeping it real. its your count, not any one elses. I know my count and I know for me if I had a sip of champagne my count would begin again, but that's me.......and if I had a sip of champagne id be well on my way to the entire bottle and looking for wine. its your recovery. for me I wish I could have a few sips, but ive proved to myself time and time again I cannot.

The count is, ultimately for my wife.

If I drink too much then I behave badly and her "count" of the last time I was a drunk A-hole goes back to 0.

I know that if I have access to alcohol I will get enough of a buzz on in public that I'll come home and want to continue drinking, and, if I'm home to start I'll just drink too much.

In this case, I was confident a few sips of champagne would not get me buzzed enough to be craving more and so I drank the champagne, returned home and drank seltzer and went to bed as usual, with my wife and sober.

Rich

Just a word of caution. The Big Book characterizes alcohol as "cunning, baffling, powerful". Alcohol is also very insidious.

A seemingly benign and harmless sip (or three) of champagne may be very well be the first step down that slippery slope to another drunken binge. Especially if you are confident in your ability to control how much you drink.

Yes, my wife knows about Saturday because she was there. In fact, she just wants me to stop getting drunk - like I was able to do in our past.

However, I have realized that I can no longer stop myself after "one or two" so I have determined that I need to stop completely.

On the other hand, during my roughly 18 months of trying to stop drinking completely I have realized that it is after one or two drinks that I fall under the Unstoppable spell and wind up the drunk who my wife doesn't like. So if this means I can have the occasional celebratory sips of champagne or the food cooked with wine or the much less likely return to Catholicism then that is a success.

I'm not a fan of any "big book", be it the Bible or any other book.

Rich

I'm with you too Rich.

Your success or failure needs to be based on what you want to achieve and each day you move towards that goal and make strides to get there is a good day as far as I'm concerned.

( on a side note.. yes, BC, this is day 29 for me and day tomorrow is 30 and that will be a big success for me ).

Hugs Rich~

LMT