do you think there is a problem? I would suggest reaching out to AA and see if it helps you with the living sober life....just put the plug in the jug....

I've known there is a problem for awhile now. And that my mom had a problem. I've been to one AA meeting and they seemed like bitter people. OBVIOUSLY I'm not saying they all are, this was one meeting in one place. Once.

This is the same question that my counselor asked me, concerning the recent death of my dad during my intake for an outpatient treatment program, "Do you think your dad would want you to feel so despondant over his passing that you would drink yourself into oblivian, over it?" My answer was "No, he would want me to celebrate his life and passing into the next dimension, and have a big party!"

It made me feel a little better but not much. It took alot of prayer and meditation and doing the 12 steps of AA to let go of all the guilt, shame, and resentment!

Try a different AA meeting, get a sponser and do the steps. Thats what I did, and 8 years Iater I am happier now then .I have ever been! It will work for you....if you let it!

God Bless!

the group dynamics of individual AA groups change from location to location....so try another meeting....what in your listening to them gave you feeling they were bitter? I never seen that myself....most of them have laughter and smiles....;-)

This was a small group and they focused on regrets and how their lives used to be. Not how their lives are better now. They also hold their weekly meeting at a detox center, as some sort of reminder of what could happen i guess.
I was there because I got sent to detox in 2010. That's my only experience with AA.

Hello SubtletyWrecks,

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mum. Like alcoholism, grief can be a powerful force so please look after yourself and don’t ignore either condition.

There are plenty of people who can stay sober without AA meetings and there are also other support options. However, AA has helped many who had lost all hope and for whom other methods had failed. Sometimes you have to try different meetings in order to find the one that suits your needs. It is best to seek out positive people who share about the solution to the problem rather than those who whine about the past.

The meetings are a support mechanism and can be a vital part of the journey to recovery. However, meetings alone will not bring about the change in thinking that leads to a sober and happy life; the answers are to be found in the Twelve Steps.

You have experience first hand on powerlessness over alcohol. You are drinking when you want to be sober. I'm very sorry for the loss of your mother. That too -- was to booze, and I assume alcoholic drinking. So you have a choice, keep doing what your doing and you have a fairly clear blue print of of your path. Such a small number of us get the help we need.
My sister felt similarly about NA meetings. Negative, dwelling in loss. Hmm. They are sober; clean and alive. She is living in addiction hell, struggling, lost everything, will likely lose her young son soon (I pray he gets to live with my parents) but hey -- none of those negative dwelling in the past people for her. I see a blue print for my path if I pick up -- in her.

I've been to thousands of AA meetings. I have loved some, felt joyous at others, and a few -- I didnt go back.

Most importantly, the meetings arent the program. the program is in the book. Get a sponsor, work the program, and see how you feel.

Hi SubtletyWrecks, Hugs!

I didn't read members replies to you here (at least yet) because well, I'm just being lazy currently and I'm kind of emotional about a few things currently.

One of my friends that I have known for the last 20 years funeral was yesterday. The thought of drinking yesterday came to my mind, but I stayed sober. I have 2 months sober as of 10/12/16.

I suggest that you check out AA. You will be welcome there... Hugs!

I stared drinking, years ago, when I went to bury my son. I wanted to avoid the suffering. When I sobered up, I had to go through the grieving process that I avoided, when I drank. It is something that one can not really escape.

Hello Subletywrecks

I wish you well , death of a Parent , is a tough loss , not matter what relationship you had
I stopped drinking after a tangi/funeral , twenty five days ago, this funeral brought up all these emotions I thought I had
buried , yet alcohol just hides them. I have stopped before, this time is different Coming to this site and reading peoples advise , the big book online
also the AA on youtube , has kept me sober
I know I need the fellowship and to work the program , it takes a lot of courage to go to a meeting and admit that alcohol is a problem in your life , the label of alcoholic is for me shameful ,yet I know that if I do not I will die from this disease
I sure hope you keep reading these msg and you will be open to the advise
love to you

I was able to grab a life saving chance w.hen my dad died. Actually it was his last few months alive that a miracle occurred. I was along with my brothers to help watch my dad after a stroke. He was in the hospital and by luck of the draw I was chosen for the 4-9 watch. That was when I was in the bar every day killing myself. We'll somehow I was able to get just a couple of months and that was 4 years ago. It takes just a small window and you can escape. You can get sober , life is waiting
1is2many