Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I am currently on an 80 day "dry out" period. At the end of the 80 days, we have a trip planned to visit friends in another state. I have decided in advance that I will allow myself to drink in moderation during the visit.
Here is my pattern: Drink moderately for a day, a week, a month. Then steadily increase how much I drink, and start earlier in the day, sometimes even drinking at lunch or as early as 10 AM (the exception). Then I get back to moderation. Then I have several days of just drinking as much as I want (which can be four double gin martinis in one evening).
Then I will REALLY get carried away and mix wine with hard alcohol (gin or vodka mostly). Or I mix vodka with pain pills (vicodin). Then, I get disgusted with myself, and I start a "dry out" program.
I am usually VERY good during my "dry out" time. I seem to do best when I have something to look forward to at the end (e.g., a trip to visit friends, or Easter at the end of Lent).
My biggest hurdle is that I don't want to give up alcohol entirely - forever. I just haven't been able to commit to that.
I am thinking my best bet may be to stay mainly dry, and give myself periodic "free" periods - Valentine's Day, Easter, vacation trips, etc.
Thoughts?
Here is my pattern: Drink moderately for a day, a week, a month. Then steadily increase how much I drink, and start earlier in the day, sometimes even drinking at lunch or as early as 10 AM (the exception). Then I get back to moderation. Then I have several days of just drinking as much as I want (which can be four double gin martinis in one evening).
Then I will REALLY get carried away and mix wine with hard alcohol (gin or vodka mostly). Or I mix vodka with pain pills (vicodin). Then, I get disgusted with myself, and I start a "dry out" program.
I am usually VERY good during my "dry out" time. I seem to do best when I have something to look forward to at the end (e.g., a trip to visit friends, or Easter at the end of Lent).
My biggest hurdle is that I don't want to give up alcohol entirely - forever. I just haven't been able to commit to that.
I am thinking my best bet may be to stay mainly dry, and give myself periodic "free" periods - Valentine's Day, Easter, vacation trips, etc.
Thoughts?
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
Sound familiar? AA page 30
As I mentioned in my intro post, many years ago I quit drinking and had no issues going to parties or to bars with friends who were drinking and drinking no alcohol myself. It may have made my friends a bit uncomfortable since they knew they shouldn't drink as much either, but that is their problem, not mine.
Based on my personal experience in trying to quit, I would not go in giving myself permission to "cheat" from time to time. As others have implied, the rim of that cocktail glass is indeed a slippery one!
Yes, "I can NEVER drink again FOREVER" is very daunting for the alcoholic. That's why in my early sobriety - before I had completely and thoroughly worked the 12 steps suggested as a program of recovery by Alcoholics Anoymous - I just didn't drink TODAY. One day at a time.
I can still vividly remember when I first came to the understanding that I just couldn't successfully drink again - ever. I was in an AA meeting and that topic can up. My immediate thought was "OMG, what am I gonna do during the champagne toast at my daughter's wedding if I can't drink!?!" Mind you, my daughter was only 5 or 6 at the time. Talk about alcoholic thinking!! My daughter will be getting married next July and now the FURTHEST thing from my mind it that damned toast. I now live a life in which alcoholic holds no attraction for me. A very far cry from the miserable days of my addiction when alcohol ruled my life.
So, you see, the really cool thing is after stringing a couple hundred days together, I didn't have to stop for just one day - I can now stop and stay stopped forever.
I don't want to sound like I am judging because i understand how difficult it is to quit but I worry about you mixing alcohol with narcotic pain killers. You can die from that!
I remember my motivation was my family. They would be devastated if anything like that ever happened to me so I was willing to do everything it took to get sober and to stay sober. There are hundreds of ways to do so but it sounds like you may be in need of alot of support so AA or something similar may help, of maybe like me, I needed to be treated for the issues that predisposed me to addiction so a 3 week IOP was the answer for me.
I suggest you search your heart while the rest of us pray that you hear what you need to hear to find the kind of treatment that will best benefit you!
God Bless!
Have fun on your merry go round as you call it!
Ooo yea I loved a good Phil with the booze. That really helped me to numb out and really that's what alcohol did for a long time till it stopped working man that was a holiday I tell you. Hotel hel
1-2
A thought on "one day at a time" and the idea of quitting forever...
When I first quit, it was one day at a time for me. Actually that isn't true. It was more like one minute and one hour at a time. But something happened for me that has made staying sober a whole lot easier.
I realized hat my decision was for real and I never have to drink again. What a relief! No more worrying about it. I know I am not going to drink whether I am at a wedding or if I have to deal with a tragedy, etc. so I don't have to think about it. Moving from "one day at a time" to forever was incredibly freeing. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I am not missing anything by not drinking. I have a clear mind. And more importantly I have peace of mind.
Maybe you will be able to figure out how to drink in moderation. That seems like a lot more work and a whole lot harder than just saying, "you know, I don't need to drink anymore. It isn't worth the trouble."
Just some thoughts for you to consider...
1is2many
It's just that sometimes I can handle moderation - and have a good time on one glass of wine, or one cocktail, and sometimes I can't down the drinks fast enough.
I think I need to examine the reasons why "one is not enough."
If I am already happy, I can drink just one.
I recently went to lunch with a good friend. We each had one cocktail, and that was just fine, and I was satisfied.
If I start drinking because I am already anxious or upset or (fill in strong emotion here), that's when I drink until I'm blitzed. Never black out drunk - just dropping things drunk.
It's usually because a family member is bugging me, and I need to escape in my head.
Much to think about.