Welcome to the group! I myself am on my 12th day of sobriety. I was sober for 8 years, then I slipped up and have been an extremely heavy drinker for the last 7 years. It was ruining everything in my life and my relationship with my wife had almost completely deteriorated. I felt awful and anxious all of the time. Finally I came to the conclusion that all of the problems my drinking was causing was simply not worth it. I was so tired of the same cycle repeating daily, and I needed to break the chain. For me, the first 4 days of withdrawal were horrific, but now I feel so much better and I don't really struggle much with cravings. I understand what you're going through and I think we are all more than happy to help and support you as much as we can. Feel free to contact me if you like, or just post on this forum if you prefer. Good luck to you and I wish you all the best!

I'm with you all the way. Your story is my story. Your struggle is my struggle. Call on me anytime.

I am new here too and have found it hopeless trying to quit by myself. It's so hard because significant others don't understand the difficulty in quitting and staying sober. I've heard "I don't understand...just quit..just don't drink." too many times and it is frustrating for me.

I don't think you would be able to hide it for too long.....do you think she would be supportive if you told her you started again but want desparately to quit?

You hit the nail on the head candilion. "Just quit...just don't drink". I can't count how many times I've heard that. If it were that easy there wouldn't be millions of alcoholics in this country. Those words are spoken by people who have never experienced it and just don't get it.

I myself was drinking so much beer that it would have been impossible to hide it from my wife. She didn't get it at all. Still BigALwarrior, I would recommend coming clean about your return to drinking. Nothing good comes from keeping secrets and lying. It will be difficult, but if you do express your regret and your desire to stop again she may be understanding after all.

I agree with ce2016 that nothing good will come from lying. You don't always have to be 100% transparent, but most people that love you will want the best for you and will want to try to help.

Just don't expect them to always understand. They literally have no idea what it's like to be an addict, so try not to be offended when they say things that simplify the solution. It can feel like they are being insensitive, but it is really just ignorance.

My boyfriend knows when I am drinking usually. It is hard to hide and he is an enabler because I come up with excellent excuses (as I'm sure we all do) for why I need to drink today. You might want to be up front before she finds out that you have been lying.

I wish you the best.

I was sober for 4 years but had a slip so now I have 4 more years. It's been 8 years since I went through outpatient treatment.

Good luck on your road to recovery!

God Bless!

The guilt and remorse and self loathing. I don't miss them

I appreciate your posting. When I was actively drinking I thought I was harming nobody so what was the big deal. I thought I was managing and that nobody knew how I really was.

Thing is that the booze is THE way I coped with life. The good and bad. I had never acquired the needed skills and simply used booze to not feel. Then I became reliant on it. Hooked.

I started following DS on May of 2012. I took my last drink on June 9, 2012. I found that it was not a moral thing but a physical thing. I just am normal in all ways except when it comes to alcohol. I drink one and then I get a need to drink more. I also think only about when I get to drink again. It's an obsessive / compulsive manifestation.

The key is to break the cycle, learn to be happy, and get back to living. The how is the crux Many have quit and just made it work. Me I tried to quit a thousand times. I would get to feeling better and then that thought... Just one. It's hot. I deserve it. It won't hurt. Then 5 years later I would try to quit again. It was a daily thing. I will NOT drink today and by the time the sun set... Booze for the loser.

I made a final attempt and went to a group that meets daily. It has taught me the why and how of my disease. It has shown me a solution. I have also made friends that are in the trench with me.

I don't drink anymore. It is possible but you have to 1 . Do it for you, not the girl, the mom, the baby. FOR YOU. 2 . It takes work, but it is worth it in the end. I hated work, that's why booze was so gripping. It was a short cut to solve "life". But in reality it was just a death wish.

It has been done by many before you. You gotta go get it because it's not going to just show up in the mailbox !

1is2many

Currently finishing my second day of sobriety. I had 19 days recently then slipped into old habits. Do not be afraid to try an AA meeting. They will be very happy that you came and no one will judge you or preach. You will meet new friends and people that can help you and support you. I go myself and there are people there who are or have been in your shoes

Thank you all very much for your responses. I take every word into my heart and consideration. I have much to do and decisions to make but one decision is easy, that I must never drink again. I am ready for this fight and I appreciate the companionship already. I look forward to further insight and sharing with all the members here. God Bless

There is lots of good advice here. These friends have helped me through the last 12 days and can help you. Know there is more than one path to sobriety. Find yours.