do you have any support system such as aa or a counselor?

Have you been through the 12 Steps as outlined in the Big Book? I'm just wondering if your reliance might have been more on the fellowship and sponsor than on God (as you understand Him) otherwise you would not be drinking or worrying about it being around too much.

If your husband is alcoholic you might realise his bringing drink home will be more about his illness than respect. You are drinking too you say, so what is your understanding of Step One?

Your husband's alcoholism is for him to address if he wants to in any way he wants to but whether you stay or leave is a decision only you can make. His drinking does not make you drink but granted it is harder to be around alcohol in the early days if you want to get sober again yourself.

Hello akacountrygirl,

I am shocked when I read your first sentence where you say that you have cirrhosis of the liver and your last sentence that says you are drinking a little bit. My medical knowledge is extremely limited but I would think that combining cirrhosis and drinking is a recipe for big trouble.

Your husband is inconsiderate in bringing alcohol into the house when you are struggling and maybe you need to talk to him again to see if some compromise could be reached that would suit both of you. However, and I cannot stress this strongly enough, the problem here is not with your husband but with YOU.

What you are trying to do is to change your husband instead of looking at your own problem and that is likely to end in failure. I can understand how you feel because I blamed a lot of things for my drinking if only other people would do.if you felt the way I do you would drink too etc. I probably did not do that deliberately but I didnt know any better at the time. It was only when my back was to the wall and I had to look for help that I learned that I was the only one that was responsible for the mess that I was in and I was the one who had to clean it up. However, my cleaning skills were not good and someone had to show me what had to be done.

My suggestion to you is to concentrate for now on dealing with your own drinking. You may need to consider doing things that you would have rejected in the past I certainly did but in the end I went to AA meetings and did a lot of listening. You are playing with fire so do not reject the water no matter what label is on the bucket.

My brother just died of complications due to his history or pathological need to stay even emotionally(physically/mentally) with a certain level of Alcohol each day for more than 30 years.....He was a very successful lawyer and loved by many but died very young(66). Very competent but missed a few p's and Q's where his inner life was concerned! It did not matter what others thought he was his own man:(
Billy

Just to clarify the first paragraph of reply #2 - your reliance on God and using the the principles of the programme for spiritual growth.

Yes, I have worked the 12 step program and it helped me a great deal. I have a sponsor but we have never gone over the steps together....been doing it on my own since the beginning.

No I have never 100% relied on God; however, I do believe in him/her/it. I don't know why but there are times that I have doubts that God exists. I feel terrible even saying that; however, due to science, etc....I have my doubts.

I'm not trying to blame my husband for my drinking....I just find the temptation more than I can bare.

As for the cirrhosis, I acquired it (who knows when) due to Hep c and alcohol. I went through the Tx for hep c....it took a year.

There are days that I don't drink at all....so it is possible for me to abstain from drinking when all my ducks are in a row.

When I first quit drinking 1 1/2 years ago...hubby made it as difficult as possible. I had quit and he brings home 2 bottles of wine and sets it on the kitchen counter.

I have asked him not to drink in front of me which should be simple because I go to bed very early.

I am just frustrated and need some advice on a new way to tackle this situation.

Thanks to everyone who responded....I will take your advice into consideration and tackle this problem or it will tackle me.

To be honest it sounds like he was using you to justify his own drinking issues. Not that I know him or anything but I have experienced that before. Didn't see it as much until I stopped drinking.. It's funny the little things people play on one another without even knowing sometimes. It's like when I say I'm going on a diet to lose 10 pounds. All the sudden there are 5 of my favorite desserts laying around.. What the what?? Doesn't mean they don't love you or that's my take just a justification for them and keeps you in their web. I know that sounds awful and it shouldn't but in their subconscious it may be there. All you can do is be honest...Don't do it in a argumentative way just walk him down your path so to speak. Let him know you understand he wants to have a drink or two but you can't have it around because this is the way it makes you feel and what impacts it could have...Let him know your sincerity in what you say. Make it about you not him. But might also let him know at some point that is a concern for him as well. Just not in that conversation. Save that one for another time maybe a few weeks out when you get stronger... Just my thoughts.. Thirsty

Thanks Thirsty, I totally agree. I have done both of what you suggested. Now it is time to Let Go and Let God.