Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Just some background before I get to the point of this post. I was raised in a very strict family and was the "perfect" daughter. I developed anorexia at age 15, untreated, but resolved once I left my family home and went away to college. I graduated and bought my first home at age 23 (single, successful, and happy). Married at 25 and became the "perfect" wife and then mother. Divorced at 37, bought my husband out and retained full custody (24/7) of my child. During the next 7 years of being a full-time single mom and a successful professional, I attained my Master's degree and was ridiculously happy. My child went away to college and I decided to date again. Married within a year, pretty much the same man I married the first time and took on two more children. Again, the "perfect wife, mother and stepmother". Within a few years when the blended family and expectations began to fall apart, I began drinking in an unhealthy fashion. All children out of the nest, but still living life scripted by my husband and this is my own fault. My whole point is, anytime you try to live a life that is scripted by another person, your family, or what society thinks (or what you think society thinks), you are setting yourself up for problems. I have seen this pattern echoed in many posts here, so finally, my point is now is the time to be "selfish" and concentrate on your own needs and write your own script!! We only live once.....we need to live happy, healthy, and free of anxiety, self-judgement, addiction and others expectations! Sorry, I haven't posted in a while so I am just using up all my unused space in one post! :-)
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
What really confused me was when someone told Refusing to follow the script still isn't the answer...I'm still adapting, still dependant on the others point of view. Man! Really?? I find it to be true though when I look...living beyond the script is much much harder than I care to admit...lots of pitfalls, lots of opportunities to just pick up a different script and delude myself for a while longer :)
I think though this is what they call freedom. .not necessarily freedom to do what I want but freedom to experience life in a greater number of ways...whether I think they'll suit me emotionally or not :)
P
When I stopped guessing what others wanted, and actually *asked* them when I was concerned or let it go when I wasnt....I find freedom.
The happiest marriages are ones with unconditional love. Each can be what they are. There is enough in common to hold my wife and I together. We each have our own thing that we do separately or when possible together separately. For example. We go to the pagoda on weekends. She arranges the flowers. I help with the cooking. Sometimes she goes on vacations with her women friends. I am going to Mongolia without her. We love to go to Hawaii together.
Laura
little did I know that was not the subject at all....much about family scripting....I live alone but I guess my family still has their way with me...getting me to do stuff their way....my dad was all about control....I hated that....he is dead now....no more of that voice telling me to go here jump higher or whatever...
The greeks had a nifty understanding of script and tragedy...the main tragedy being most of those decisions, however forced they felt, originated in between my own two ears :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oedipus_the_King
"The oracle delivered to Oedipus what is often called a "self-fulfilling prophecy", in that the prophecy itself sets in motion events that conclude with its own fulfilment.[17]This, however, is not to say that Oedipus is a victim of fate and has no free will. The oracle inspires a series of specific choices, freely made by Oedipus, which lead him to kill his father and marry his mother. Oedipuschoosesnot to return to Corinth after hearing the oracle, just as he chooses to head toward Thebes, to kill Laius, to marry and to take Jocasta specifically as his bride; in response to the plague at Thebes, hechoosesto send Creon to the Oracle for advice and then to follow that advice, initiating the investigation into Laius's murder. None of these choices is predetermined.
Another characteristic of oracles in myth is that they are almost always misunderstood by those who hear them; hence Oedipus's misunderstanding the significance of the Delphic Oracle. He visits Delphi to find out who his real parents are and assumes that the Oracle refuses to answer that question, offering instead an unrelated prophecy which forecasts patricide and incest. Oedipus's assumption is incorrect, the Oracle does, in a way, answer his question: On closer analysis the oracle contains essential information which Oedipus seems to neglect."