Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Really struggling with the anxiety that comes after drinking. If I don't drink, then I feel anxious about not drinking, so I give in and drink. Lately I've felt better in my head regarding drinking (or lack of), I don't like how I feel when I drink, I don't like the anxiety that comes afterwards, but for whatever reason I ended up drinking 3 nights over the past holiday, about 8 drinks each. Now the regret and anxiety is back worse than ever, specifically about my liver. Got liver enzymes checked 2 weeks ago and levels came out fine (after 6-7ish years of abusing alcohol), but in my head i'm convinced that those 3 bad nights since caused damage. Really struggling in general with the anxiety making it harder to control the drinking, especially when I know that I want to quit drinking because I want my life to be different. I have this weird anxiety thing where I feel the need to confess things to certain people, and the liver concerns after drinking were one of these "confessions", but this time i'm so embarassed that I gave in again to the alcohol so soon after my revelation that I was done for good that I don't want to confess it, even though the reassurance I get from "confessing" usually makes me feel less worried about the liver anxiety. Feeling like such a mess in my own head, just needed to vent a bit.
Have you spoken to your doctor about getting help with the anxiety and drinking issues? I seem to recall from an earlier post that you don’t want to go to AA meetings so maybe you need to look at some alternative. An honest talk with your doctor would be a good starting point and then you need a willingness to do whatever is suggested.
Confession and venting may be good in the short term but as soon as the embarrassment wears off, your head will tell you that it is ok to have a drink. Maybe it is time for you to talk to the healthcare professionals.
Through my anxiety yesterday, I did end up doing the "confessing" thing with my trusted family member-it did make the guilt go away (like you said, temporarily), but it made it go away long enough to have an honest conversation about my thoughts and feelings on the drinking and why i'm having such a struggle with it-honest conversation without the cloudiness in judgement that tends to come with the guilt. That conversation opened my eyes to some underlying issues that probably make quitting harder on me, some things that I never even realized were weighing on me so much emotionally. It did prompt me to reach out to my doctor and get a recommendation on a counselor to meet with about everything. Definitely time to make this change, I feel ready to lose the anxiety and guilt, as well as the control that the drinking has over the years ended up having over my life. I wanted my choices and realizations with this to be because it's what I want, not because of anxiety and guilt, and I feel like i'm finally there now. I know it is going to be hard but i'm hoping that knowing i'm doing it because it is my choice is a comfort during the really hard times.