I am very fond Of That giving myself permission talk :) I had to or remain uptight and out of sight . Control for Me was second nature until.. I became out of control. Which was to often.Turn it over I heard early on, It helped :)
Billy

i keep that reading in my wallet. we give to the new person at there 1st meeting and can't tell ya how many have mentioned it saved there ass more than once.

as far what we did before to chase the drink and go to any lengths, now we simply do the opposite to keep what we have.

whats kinda of funny i have posted this more than once here and i know you have seen it but now your living it.

keep it up.

Damn straight.

True this Tara. My sobriety is first. Without that there is no life. Without that I lose the lot.

"Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety".

That is the most important line I have learned in my life. It's not always easy to live by it, but doing so brings rewards we never imagined when we were drinking.

Thanks, Tara

Taradactyl, group,
VERY IMPORTANT LESSON / bit of advice ...

Like everything else, I insisted on learning this lesson / truth / ...
whatever ... the hard way.

When told my sobriety must come first ...
... the old GENIUS in me ... or my disease kicked in ...
Look guys / gals you folks have already helped me a bunch ...
and I'm grateful for that ... but
YOU FOLKS REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND ME ( I'm unique )
... maybe when I get as old as you, I'll put it first ...
... maybe when I finish my Cisco certifications, I'll put it first ...
... maybe when I have $10,000 in my checking acct, I'll ...
... blah, blah, blah ...

So, I agreed to put it 4th on my list ... cause, unlike you folks ...
I still have a life ...
LOST EVERYTHING ! ... my sobriety & everything above it on my list.
LESSON LEARNED ... no way ! ... genius at work !

Well, I'm convinced NOW ... there must be something to ' your
madness' ... I'll move it up to #3 on my list ...
LOST EVERYTHING AGAIN !! ... my sobriety & everything above it.
LESSON LEARNED ... but of course ... I now see what you've
been trying to tell me ...

Tell you what I'm going to do ... I'm so impressed with your
knowledge & advice ... I'VE DECIDED TO MOVE SOBRIETY
ALL THE WAY UP TO #2 ON THE LIST ...
( & I'd like you to know this is a huge sacrifice for me ... but I'll do it )
... LOST EVERYTHING !!! ... my sobriety & everything above it.

Because even I am starting to understand this concept ...
I can't believe I'm doing this ... I"VE DECIDED TO MOVE SOBRIETY
ALL THE WAY UP TO #1 ON THE LIST ...
( I think you folks must of brainwashed me or something ) ...
DIDN'T LOSE ANYTHING !!!!! ... I haven't had a drink or drug in
over 4 years & all my other stuff is going much better.

IF THIS SOUNDS PAINFUL ... IT IS ...
IT'S EVEN MUCH, MUCH, MORE PAINFUL TO LIVE.

DON'T INSIST ON LEARNING EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY ...
Be smart, learn from other people's mistakes.
Thanx everyone,
Jack / j

If I even thought about taking a drink, that would be a huge block in the communication link between me and my Higher Power and that is something I dare not risk because I have life pretty good right now and I certainly don't want to sabotage that!

Peace!

I find a comfort in those words. I am not even sure why, but I do. Because picking up a drink again would be my choice and I can choose to not drink? Because there are people who will support me if this gets difficult? Because I have the tools to draw on to support my sobriety? Not sure. Might just be that sense of accomplishment that I feel in getting sober and because I know I can do this. Probably it is as simple as what augusta said, "doing so brings rewards we never imagined when we were drinking."

I gave myself permission to put my sobriety first, and just as important I gave myself permission to change. To let go of the obsession, to live my life clearheaded, to see all my reasons and excuses to drink for what they are -- made-up half truths and downright lies.

Good stuff.

Mighty,

I think the whole permission thing comes from the fact that most "normal" people don't put sobriety of the top of their list of priorities. They have things like family, job, being a good parent, good spouse, making money, etc as their priority. So when, as alcoholics, we put those things in a collective 2nd place, we feel a bit of guilt. "What do you mean I have to put recovery ahead of my children???" That can produce some guilty feelings. Until we can give ourselves permission to do otherwise, based on our realization that without sobriety and recovery, we don't have family, spouses, jobs, life in general.

Awesome to hear Tara - keep up the great work! Nothing better than turning an addiction to a healthy thing - i have often said, i am addict by nature, I used to be addicted to partying, now I am addicted to sobriety.

My order is My God, My Sobriety, Me then my children -

Without God I have absolutely nothing. Without sobriety I will destroy everything I have. I have to be next so I can be there for my children.

Peace!

Mighty... I felt like I was neglecting other people by placing my sobriety first. I couldn't allow myself to put my own needs at the top of the list. Specifically, my marriage was suffering What I didn't want to accept was that my marriage was also a major obstacle to my recovery. I also wouldn't allow myself to NOT got to a family function where they served alcohol or skip a family function when I needed a meeting instead.

When the pain got bad enough and I realized my LIFE depended on my sobriety... When I realized I was going to lose my life and everything good in it if I couldn't keep my sobriety, then I gave myself permission to REALLY place it first.

And ExJ, when I finally realized this at my core, it was like a huge weight was lifted. It was comforting to know it was okay to place my sobriety first. It was an extra bonus when most people in my life then accepted this fact for me.

Hard to explain, but I KNEW when nothing else was going to get in the way of my recovery, I knew I had a fighting chance at staying sober.

And G, you know what? I heard a LOT of things MANY times and this is another of those things that we read every day at treatment that FINALLY sunk in. When I heard it for probably the hundredth time, it was as though I heard it for the FIRST time. Weird. When I was ready, I was ready - until then I wasn't going to hear much of anything.

Thanks all. Nice reply Jack. Well said, Care.

This is a totally new experience for me. I have 86 days today for anyone who is curious - best and hardest 86 days of my life so far.

I can sure relate to hearing something multiple times, there was a few things I heard early on I just didn't get until one day as some say the light switch was flipped on and could see it.

I so needed to read this today. I need to continue to give myself permission to let sobriety come first. I'm so flipping busy, its easy to say "I will go to a meeting later" or whatever. I need to continue to give myself permission to go to meetings daily, even if it means missing an hour with my kids. If I'm not sober, their lives will NOT be good. My life will not be good. It will not be good in our world. So sobriety needs to come first. THANK you for the reminder.

"Keeping sober is the most important thing in my life. The most important decision I ever made was my decision to give up drinking. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink. Nothing in the world is as important to me as my own sobriety. Everything I have, my whole life, depends on that one thing."

I like this so much...thanks for posting.