Life can get better. These are feelings. And alcohol can get you depressed.Sorry to hear about your friend. Each day is a new beginning . You can dust yourself off and try again....Hang in there and keep reaching out.

I am ill equipped to deal with the things you stated. Your last sentence coupled with the fact that you have so much alcohol in your system scares the living shit out of me for your safety. Call someone, anyone, 911, suicide hotline, and get to a safe place, probably a hospital. There is absolutely no shame in this. I had to do it numerous times...

I was in the same spot many , many times. I wonder sometimes how the gun in my mouth did not go off... I was in so much pain and it was all caused by a drug called alcohol.

i found in the end of my addiction that I couldnt live with it and I couldnt live with out it. The pain of my disease was so great.

I pray for you to find the path. I too started on this site many times and eventually was able to kick it. I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I will tell you a story of a friend of mine. We were the two that always hung together, ( looking back the reason is that we fed on each others alcoholism ) well one w/e after a big bender he called me and said his pee looked like coffee and was real scared. I said to call the ambulance. He did, they came , and he just couldnt let them take him because he needed to drink . He died that night.

I feel like somehow his death gave me the wake up call. It took a little bit longer of trying to kill myself with booze to finally throw in the towel. but the seed was planted

you can do this. if I did , you can

c'mon go to a place where there are a bunch of other alchies and start to heal you can do it, I believe in you

1is2many

Call the suicide hotline. 800-273-8255

Hello albertf22,

Please step back for a moment and look at the big picture. You have some things going on in your life that seem overwhelming at present but those things can all be sorted out. You can go on to have a good and fulfilling future.

Your mom and I am sure many other people would be devastated if anything bad happened to you. Today I am feeling very sad because I learned last night about the tragic death of a young woman I knew from AA meetings. She went to meetings but did maybe she not take the action that would have made a difference and she has become yet another victim. She is the second person that I knew who have passed away in this manner in two weeks and it is all so unnecessary and a terrible waste. There is always another way of dealing with lifes problems.

You came here for help a few months ago and with a bit of support you were able to stay sober for a while. What happened to your friend is definitely not your fault but it is not as simple as just shrugging your shoulders and getting over it. I know that very well because although it is not my fault that two people I knew have been lost before their time, I still keep asking myself if I could have done something to help them. The truth is that I could not because they were not ready to accept help. I have to accept that what happened to them is Gods will and even though it does not make sense to my human mind it was part of Gods plan. What happened to your friend is Gods will too and there was nothing that you could have done.

Tragically, your friend is gone but you are here and you are meant to be here so maybe that in Gods plan you are meant to make a difference to other people in the future. You are struggling and in a bad place right now but you can rise out of that trouble with a little bit of help. Please put the cork in the bottle right now and make up your mind to do whatever it takes to get your life back on track. My suggestion to you is to tackle the problem on two fronts. You may need to talk to a professional counsellor about how you are feeling and to get help with past issues so make that call today or go to see your doctor and get an appointment with a professional.

Right now on this very day you can start on the road to freedom from alcoholism. Do not put it off until tomorrow or next week. Go to an AA meeting and make use of everything that AA has to offer. Do not be discouraged by the arguments and misguided rubbish that you will sometimes read about AA not working because it will work for you if you want it to work. It is not just about meetings although the meetings are important. The AA programme of recovery will allow you to get to the root of the things that are bothering you and to find a way of dealing with those feelings. By following the suggested simple steps you can build an arch through which you can walk to freedom.

You owe it to your mom who brought you into the world and who cares about you and you owe it to yourself so reach out and accept the help that is available. Send me a private message if you think that there is anything that I can do or if you have questions - I am not an expert in anything but I can at least listen and give a second opinion.

Looking at the big picture, you will see that you can do this. Little by little you can tackle those things that are troubling you and when you add up the little victories you will be shocked someday to find that without even realizing it, you will have a smile on your face again.

Please seek immediate help. The ER is a good option -- they can keep you safe and help you detox and line up the resources to get you through this.

From what you are saying, you need professional help.

You are having these feelings because you are a compassionate person. This world needs more people like you. Not going through with your suicidal thoughts, doesn't mean you are a coward, it means that a part of you knows that you have something to live for & doesn't want you to go through with it. Listen to these other people asking you to call for help. This isn't a choice you want to make under the influence!

I hope you are OK - it looks like this was posted a while ago :(

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Please think of your family and friends who would be devastated to lose you!.

You need alot of support and if you can't get enough here, AA is a great place to get that support.

I remember going through something similar and talking to my dad about it and his response was that it sucks losing someone you love but unfortunately it's a part of life and we must learn to accept it.
I also try to turn it into something positive my remembering all the positive things about that person. Something else that has helped me alot is that I talk to that person like he/she is still here. I tell them how I feel. People would think I am crazy but Believe me, it helps alot.

I know you are hurting alot right now but the pain will make you stronger. It will take time so in the meantime, try to find more support.

In the future, you will be adding more memories to your older memories of the friend and you will find life worth living but you need to stay sober to see those things happen!

You have our deepest sympathy on your loss and We will keep you and your friend in our thoughts and prayers!

God Bless!

hugs

If you are posting here you want help. If you want help its available.
Please reach out in real life for it. If you are having suicidal thoughts please call for help now. There are hotlines, go to a DR, tell them what you are feeling. You are worth it.

Thanks for all the responses. I sure can make some dumb decisions when I get drunk. Good thing I passed out before I did anything real stupid. And yes I do need help, mathe now I can finally seek it. I'm just glad that there are a lot of people on here that seem to care for a complete stranger.

We are stronger than the green berets and NEVER leave anybody behind. So what about getting better? The feelings you have are just like I used to have. Remove booze from my life and miraculously I stopped being depressed.

C'mon get you some...

1-2

I think you should seek professional help. You wouldn't try to heal a broken leg at home alone would you?