The first thing you did was come here and ask for some help so I am so proud of you. It's insane because that's the nature of alcoholism so what you're experiencing is entirely normal to those of us who are alcoholics. Only you can decide when you're ready but we're here for you. Peace and blessings. This doesn't make you a bad person as there's no such thing as a bad person. Some of us just get a little lost on our path to joy but there is a clearly joyful path. I took a detour for a few years as well:)

thank you for responding to me.. I just got off the phone with a friend who talked me thru my desire to drink. Thank God for friends.. I just hate that i let myself get this addicted toalcohol where I crave it so bad, a physical craving. It is absolutley freaking crazy!!

I commented on your journal, I really think you should get rid of those beers, pour them down the drain and be done with them. Call your friend who just talked you thru the obsession and have her listen while u pour them....otherwise cracking them open could be dangerous. You don't need this temptation torturing you the way those beers are. Have you thought about going to an AA meeting?

hi. i have thought about pouring them out, but i haven't. someone told me not too, it is harder but more worth it. maybe that's stupid i dunno. i do know i won't drink them tonite. besides my husband drinks some, only he don't have a problem with it. he can drink without getting drunk. I can't.I have joined an on-line AA. actually i have only gone so far as to read the first chapter of the book. The meetings are hel SO late and my work schedule is so early. I am hoping I can get the same results from here, and reading the book.

@kluvswt, where's the online AA? I didn't know that existed. I thought you had to go to some group in person?

stop already with the excuses. your life is on the line.nothing is more noble to God (or your higher power or if an abstainer -of the ones you love) than to see you pro-active in saving your life. pour out the f'ing beers. make a statement. take your dignity-it is still there- and become the woman you were meant to be.xxxx devon

i am in the same boat - I will pray too. but you gotta do the work. So do I.

thank you,"itsmylife. i agree with u.
i have not poured them out. but i did not drink them either!! yay!! i wonder if i take a stand as you say if my husband will see my weakness. he doesn't think i have a problem. he loves me very much and i know that and if i asked him to not bring drink in the house he wouldn't. i know that. but why should he quiyt doing something he enjoys that is not a problem for him just because i have a weakness?that is my train of thought on the matter.

kluyswt- i am in the same boat as you. my boyfriend does not think I have a problem, but he has no idea what goes on in my head. He has no idea of my lack of willpower, nor does he understand when I tell him. .
I'd say talk to him, he might just support you and want to quit together with you.

Because if he does not have a problem, and those beers have been sitting in there and he hasn't thought of them, then you're hurting him A LOT less than the hurt you described in your journal.
I don't know who told u it's harder but more worth it 2 do it that way, but I totally disagree.

i will add one more comment and that is this: you are not weak but you have a progressive fatal disease that will eventually kill you. half my family is gone.poof! just like that...you can arrest this illness but there is no cure-God knows i have tried it all-but if your husband-and i believe he does- loves you let him have the ability to walk through part of this journey with you.the difficult choice is yours,of course, but your husband needs the affirmation that you can share this vital and life-saving decision with him. do not die from false pride.that, my dear, would be the more tragic epitaph.love you. praying for you.xxx devon

kluvs, if you are completely open with him and explain that alcohol in the house is a temptaion when you have a problem, I hope love will make him understand. AA may be good for you. Alanon may be good for him. But alcohol in the house is not a good thing for someone who is an alcoholic, or even a problem, or excessive drinker. Just my opinion. I personally would have knocked those beers back when I woke up this morning (probably would have gone out for more). I don't want alcohol in my home. Just my own experience. Be good to yourself.