Know you probably wont want to hear this but the idea of someone who has not taken a drink for 4years wanting to drink and taking a sip of alcohol is really frightening to me. It sounds like a really dangerous place to be.

Please get some help whether it be AA, talking to your sister, local mental health and alcohol services. If you are an alcoholic/ have previous problems with alcohol you cannot be sure that this will end with that sip and you need to make yourself safe and find a way to stay sober going forward.

i can say if i wanted to drink i could noone in the world could stop me aa is not for everyone iv done it 4yrs without it my sister goes there and some are not nice as they think aa is there life and these nothing else thank you for your adivce but we all think about drinking it will come and go over the years but its how we deal with it i wish everyone all the luck thats out there but you can get the help on here big hugs

So marie-what are your plans then to combat these cravings, and to get better? You need to take these impulses that are surfacing quite seriously I would think. I do not do aa either-but it is not because of the people. People can be distasteful in all groups-you need to find good folks. And they are at AA just as much as the negative ones are.

I just hear you sounding very low and desperate-it sounds like you need some kind of help. We all do when we get low Marie. Take the good and forget the rest if AA is what is an option for you now.

Hi Marie. I too am both an alcoholic and a Bipolar patient, so I do understand where you are coming from. For me, I had to get sober in AA and then three years on from that I surrendered to the fact that I had life-threatening mental illness too - the Bipolar as well Panic and Anxiety Disorders, and I sought psychiatric and psychological help and still do, at 11 years sober.

I know you have bad memories about some of the people in AA, but for me, it is worth dealing with the ratbags so that I get to work this amazing and life saving program. I also find that it is really easy for me to remain compliant with my psych meds because I am a member of AA - it helps me have my own in-built checks and balances and I always talk to my psychiatrist about my meds as they relate to my addictive tendancies.

I 100% believe that we Dual Diagnosis people need to tackle both the alcoholism and the mental illness. People are most likely to relapse in both addiction and mental illness of they are not tackling both.

Remember back to your time in AA and remember that you can go to a meeting, you can go to half a dozen meetings, but you are not tied down to it. Don't let those ratbags rob you of something great -that will not only improve your quality of life, but will save it, along with your mental health care.

If you are willing to get some sort of help; perhaps seeing a therapist would help. I too have alcoholism amd bipolar disorder and have been sober for 25 years. i have been recieving treatment (therapy and psychiatrist) for my bipolar for 20 years. i agree with Wendy that recieving help for both is essential. Although this website is fantastic- there is no way I could rely on nonprofessionals to help me with all of my issues. I have dual diagnosis and will probably always need help if i really want to be healthy. I wish you all the best in whatever decision you make.