Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
since I asked for help. But I do stop by every day to read the different posts & comments. Many of the youtube videos were very helpful but I needed extra help for the effort to finally quit. I purchased the book, The Easy Way to Stop Drinking by Alan Carr, following the directions to the letter. I kept an open mind, didn't jump ahead, read with a good attitude & clipped & underlined passages I wanted to refer to later. I was so happy when I finished the book because every time I even thought about a drink it repulsed me to think of drinking something that tasted awful & was the poison that wouldn't stop until it killed me. I was overjoyed of the promise there would be no willpower required to be successful. One of the suggestions he makes in the beginning of the book is, Don't stop or cut down on your drinking while reading this book. (I never drank while reading the book) BUT, also I must be sober while reading the book. This way I can "think while I'm drinking" & apply what the book is trying to say. One of the first things I realized was....this shit tastes awful! I always knew that but also always passed it off as "it's the first one, the 2nd will taste better". Of course it will because the alcohol in the first one deadens your taste buds so you'll want the 2nd. Then the thirsty little monster takes over & the rest is history. But above all he teaches it's the big monster in my head that's the hardest to fight.....it's mostly a mental fight.
The last chapter is titled....The Final Drink. I'll admit I waited until I had 2 chapters to go & I took a break....& got totally drunk (12 beers). The next day, I was sober but very hungover while reading the last 2 chapters. Of course we all know our resolve to quit when we're hungover.....and we really mean it. I didn't have that final drink. I figured I had 12 final drinks the night before. For 3 days I did great, not one craving. On the 4th day, the fact I didn't take that "final drink" started to niggle at my mind. This time I had 6 beers (my usual lite brand). Now I'm wondering if I can do this at all. I think where I made my mistake is in 2 areas. #1 accepting the fact I can never drink again. My husband is already suggesting a wine tasting trip for our anniversary. I used our new dog as an excuse (we can't leave him so soon after getting him). No, I haven't disclosed to my husband I'm trying to quit but I'm sure he's seen the title of the book I read & also noticed me marking passages. That makes me mad because I feel he's trying to derail my efforts. He can control his drinking & I think he wants something to hold over my head. He won't accept that I must quit & can't just drink a couple & stop. #2 the author suggests The Final Drink should be strong whiskey, neat. There is no way in hell I can do that. I'd throw up. So I plan on just drinking the foulest beer I can get my hands on. Yep, my husband has that too.
The hardest part of all, & I'm well aware of it, is the mental fight when that thought first enters my head.....
It doesn't help that my husband needs to keep my usual brand of beer, the same as his buddies drink, in case they come for a visit.
I know...excuses, excuses, excuses.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
In my addiction the torture of trying to not drink was a mental killer. I just couldnt do it. I would make any excuse and drink. Now I just realize that I am an alcoholic. My default is to drink. If I dont make a conscious effort I will return to being a person that I cant live with and I will drink. See the drink is only the answer, not the problem. I never could get why when I would quit I felt so wrong. I finally decided to get help.
Let us know how the process works out.
1is2many
That book you are reading has helped alot of people! You can buy it used on Amazon for $2.99 if anyone is interested. Here is the link to it.
https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1490587199&sr=8-1&keywords=Stop+Drinking++Alan+Carr
God Bless
Good luck.
I can see now my job was keeping me sober. Now, since I don't have a "reason" not to drink, at least 3 or 4 days a week I'm fighting the urge to have "just one" at 3 in the afternoon. Of course just one ends up being too many & I wake up the next morning feeling depressed, a failure & no self respect. One of the points Alan Carr made in his book made me feel so much better about myself. He said there is nothing wrong with us. No one really has control over alcohol. Yes, there's always "Grandma" who has one drink a year at Xmas to be sociable. But mostly everyone is heading in the same direction.....alcoholism. We are just farther along the path. Most people I know drink more now than they did 10 years ago. And they will be drinking more ten years from now. This fact is why I want to get a handle on it now!
In the first chapter of the book Alan stats I have to decide to give it up forever....not try to cut back & control, not to 2nd guess myself. When I read that, I had to think long & hard.....do I really want to quit forever. He went on to describe the different situations where at first it was difficult for him....golfing....parties, etc, but realized how much more he enjoyed these events & how those who did overindulge looked & sounded pathetic. Kind of like after a nite of drinking we ask.....well, did you solve the problems of the world last nite? And especially the one who gets "friendly" speaking loudly in your ear while reeking of nasty alcohol smell. Last week my husband was drinking beer & I wasn't. He came over to kiss me good nite & I near threw up from the smell. All I could think of was.....is this the way my breath smells when drinking. The answer, of course, is yes. I don't have a problem limiting myself to no more than 2 when we go out. It's when we get home or when I'm home alone when I overdo it. So starts the tug of war. I acknowledge alcohol does absolutely nothing for me. Alcohol is a poison that won't quit until it kills me. I really don't like the taste of it anyway. It's causing high blood pressure, something I've never had before.
So.....when that thought enters my mind every day at 3 pm, why can't I, as Alan says, rejoice that I'm free, that I'll wake up every day happy to be alive & ready to tackle something....anything that makes me feel good about myself? Is it because I feel I don't deserve it?
I'm sure glad I clipped & marked pages & passages in the book. I think it's time to review.
Sorry this is so long winded.
I did not get sober for my spouse. I got sober for myself.
I discovered that I had the power within to stop drinking. There is no will power, after the first drink, compulsion kicks in, and overrides will power. Will power comes into play, with the obsession to drink.
Before last nite I was going to try to control my intake but now it's clear that's not going to happen. So here we go again.