Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I'm a wife of an AH. After 14.5 years together my AH is at a pivotal momen both in his sobriety and our marriage. He should have died last month as he lost over half of his blood. After a month long hospital stay, he's doing better but prideful. He is in complete denial of the situation. He has been told by several specialists that he has liver failure. Yet he believes he can drink a beer which turns into 5. He is decitful and manipulative. He has taken to hiding it since he knows how I feel.When he has drinks now he is vicious. I've never been a drinker so this has been quite the learning experience. I know the road will not be easy but damn it's beyond rocky and uncertain.
I'm not judging as I have come to realize that this is a horrible sickness.
We have a lot of support. I have started going to al anon. He refuses to seek any type of treatment or counseling.Meanwhile I worry constantly about his sobriety, welfare and lack of trusts. I have cried so much that I have no idea where the tears come from anymore.
Through our years together due to his drinking we never started a family. I'm glad now as I can't imagine trying to cope with a child while trudging uphill.
I'm wondering if an intervention is what we need now. I'm lonely, frustrated, helpless and heartbroken.
any tips?
Thanks!
You are doing your best. You are attending a support group and I hope you have made some friends & connections at al anon. Have you asked about it at your al anon meeting? Have you done an intervention before? Would you say that the hospital stay and instructions from doctors & friends qualified as an intervention? I ask because it seems to me maybe you've tried to intervene, already. Probably multiple times.
From my experience & from what I understand, a person must WANT to make a change. An intervention won't help if a person doesn't want help.
I think you are doing about all you can do to remind him he's hastening is own inevitable death from alcohol, and you'd like to have him get sober so he can extend his lifespan.
But if he won't Quit drinking, you need to take care of you! Busy yourself with your own life and don't obsess over his life, which you can not control. Focus on things you CAN control. This support group; al anan, books, games, hobbies...
The advice is not unlike what I tell my own self to do to stop thinking about drinking. I'm reading a good book. I collect natural items on walks to use in crafts. Talk to my sister & friends & you good people at Daily Strength. H&B - I look better since I've been off the bottle for 3 weeks... and I enjoy health & beauty stuff like manicures which I couldn't do drunk lol.
Well tmk, Good Luck to you! Lots of us folks here trying to work on Quitting drinking. Hopefully your AH will join us.