and please dont tell me to go to AA cuz i dont believe in god

'i was doing fine until reality set in and i realized im a 28 year old guy living with his parents (who are mentally abusive alcoholics) no job or career, no girlfriend or kids... oh and im an alcoholic ex drug addict'...
Believe me, I am not telling you to go to AA...
But everything you listed above are all your choices and under your control.
U wont have to deal with alcoholic parents if U move out. There is a job somewhere out there for U. Girlfriend, kids, that will come in do time. Alcoholic and ex drug addict... I am no stranger.
U will be ok. Sober up, get some sleep, wake up tomorrow and do something that will improve what you were venting about. I mean no harm... Hope I could help.

Whyzac... Your 28 yrs. young! The wires in guys heads touch and spark but don't even stay connected till we are in our mid to late thirties.

My point is you still have a lot of life to understand and grow into. With that pick yourself up in the morning... And put some goals together on paper.

Start with the ones you think you can conquer, build off that momentum and start the path to the ones that will start the path in life you dream of and don't look back.

You have determination to brake the family cycle or you wouldn't be posting about it.

Try to stay focused no matter what is around you, may not seem like it but you do have control of yourself.

So cheer up your not alone. :)

Get sober and find a job. That's half the battle. The rest will fall in place.

How about volunteering for the Peace Corps?

:( sorry.

You made the mistake that many alcoholics and drug addicts make by substituting one form of addiction for another. you have to get off the alcohol as you did the drugs. What ever worked for you drug addiction will work for the alcohol.
You have the power. You did it before and you can do it again
.
Once sober I advise you to see a doctor to see if there is anything besides addiction that needs treatment. If everything is OK begin changing your life to find happiness. I had abusive parents. I moved far away. BTW I do not go to AA.

So you are in a bad place. And being drunk will help you to get out of that how?
You don't need to go to AA. If you don't want to go, stay right where you are. If you want help though go out and get it. Nothing changes till something changes. Try SMART, try therapy, just get off your 28 year old but and do something for yourself.
I waited till I was much older than you and believe me, another 10 years of doing what you are doing won't improve things.

Hello whyzac,

When I was drinking I could find dozens of reasons to justify it in the way that you have done. I thought that the life I was living was my reality but my thinking was all wrong and I was living in a fantasy world that was dominated by anger, jealousy, fear, remorse and plenty of other negative emotions. Drinking was a symptom of other things that were out of balance. The trouble was, I could not see any of those things and I had to seek out someone else who had the experience to know what to do.

The question for you now is have you had enough of drinking or do you want to slide further down the slippery slope that you are on? Some people can go down further and still turn back and others allow it to go too far and they dont make it. If you are ready to reclaim your freedom from alcohol you may have to dispense with the ifs, buts and I wont and approach it with an open mind.

I would not dream of telling you what to do but I can tell you about my own experience. I had a very stubborn attitude and if someone had told me to go to AA they would risk a barrage of verbal abuse. However, there came a point where I knew I had to do something and I did go to AA. If I had stuck to my previous opinions I would be writing this while drinking whiskey from a mug and trying to hide it or I would be in a cold place in the ground.

It looks like you have some decisions to make.

I couldn't quit drinking until I had an open mind but I didn't have an open mind until I stopped long enough to see the damage my drinking had caused!

That was all the motivation I needed to get me into outpatatient treatment.

That was 7 years ago and today I am sober by the Grace of God and the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous!

Good Luck!

Whyzac,

From my perspective, 28 is YOUNG. You have your whole life ahead of you. There is plenty of time to change, get clean and sober, and have an amazing life. AND you may just appreciate it that much more because of your rocky start in life.

Step #1 - get clean and sober.
Step #2 - get gainful employment. Start by collecting aluminum cans if you must, but start getting some money together. Take the money you would have spent on booze, and put it away.
Step #3 - get away from your parents - the mentally abusive alcoholics - who I am sure are not doing anything good for your self-esteem. Find a room to rent, ask to move in with other relatives - anything. Just get out.
Step #4 - get outside help. There are free and near-free rehab places available. http://www.michaelshouse.com/alcohol-rehab/free/

Do something positive for yourself. You are worthy.

I don't think it is ever too late to try and fix yourself. It won't happen over night, but if you can make a small change every day, eventually you can look back at all you've done and really be proud of yourself. 28 years old is awefully young to feel the way you do. You have the time to turn things around and do pretty much anything you want.

Secondly, just because society puts in our heads that we should be getting married and having kids and developing our careers by a certain age doesn't mean anything. Do life the way you want. No one should get married, buy a house, or have kids just because they are a certain age.....it is never too late to do anything you really want to do and nothing needs to be done on everyone else's timeline. I've been with the same guy for about 9 years now and we aren't married and don't have kids yet......can you imagine how many comments I get about that lol? I don't care...it's my life and we will do what we want when we are good and ready.

You may be different than I, but sometimes I find that I use feeling sorry for myself as an excuse to drink. I also found that feeling sorry for me doesn't get me anywhere.....I have to do things to make my life happen. It's hard to feel good when you're feeling down about yourself...but try to think about what you have that is positive.

Also, not saying you should go to AA, but you don't have to believe in God to go to AA.....they make it so that you can adapt all of the 12 steps however they will work for you. BUT, I think there are tons of ways to quit also, so if you try something to see if it works you are going in the right direction.

It was May 1985 I was 28 and had just been arrested, drunk again (while on 5 years probation). I was living with my parents, although they weren't alkies or abusive, they were trying to help me, perhaps in the wrong way. I had no girlfriend or kids. I was a periodic binge drinker that got into a lot of legal problems and used a lot of pot. I had a temporary job. Well you get the idea.

I checked into rehab after the arrest which was my M.O. to make things look good for my Probation officer and to the judge. The funny thing was the rehab assigned me to the psychiatric side for 2 months. All the time there I insisted I wasn't mentally ill (I was) and should be in the alkie program. At the end of the 2 months I was transferred to the 28 day alkie program. It didn't take me long to start saying I'm not an alkie I'm crazy. After about two weeks in the alkie program it was brought to my attention and not gently that I was both, and I was. It took awhile after that to get a better grip what it all meant. AA helped me to fill up the hours and some things helped a lot, but faith in god was not my long suit so to speak. So for awhile, AA worked for me by taking what I thought was the best and leaving the rest. Nowadays, there are other support groups that would have perhaps fit the bill better for me.

As mentioned there is:

SMART Recovery: http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Also: Secular Organizations for Sobriety (SOS): http://www.sossobriety.org/home.html

Both have face to face meetings but they are fewer than AA, but there is a lot of online support there. Both take a different more secular approach than AA.

Counseling can also be very helpful. Some people just stop on their own. One last thing any of things mentioned can be effective alone or in any combination. Of course, there are other ways that others might share. Good luck and fortune and I hope you find your path out of the seemingly helpless wilderness.

Also here are links to some other mutual support groups:
http://www.pgdf.org/finding-treatment/mutual-help-groups/

Well I've probably lived a bit longer than the path I was on.

Whyzac,
You don't suck. You're just like most of the world - no direction, no understanding, no one you can trust.
The only real truthful answer I can offer is that no one else in this world can fix you. You're the fixer of yourself.
I'm a hell of a lot older than you (by 3), so when I say I know what I'm talking about, believe me - you are the only one who can fix you.
Please consider looking to something greater than yourself. You can call it God, a power greater than you, anything you want, but no job, career, parents, girlfriend, or kid can fix it.
I just hope you learn the truth at an early age, and save yourself many years of pain and agony.

It took sobering up and aa to find God. I'm glad I did all 3
1-2

thank you all for the comments and support, it really means allot to me that complete strangers can offer so much help, im so ashamed of myself for what ive become...i wish this wasnt so hard :(