Ola, are you wanting to stop?

Alcohol is not a solution to any of those things. For me it was the drinking that caused me to be alone, caused my low self esteem, caused me to hurt people and fuelled my guilt and other horrible feelings.

I am not saying it is the same for you but I found out that I drank because I am an alcoholic. I found things to blame my drinking on but if you had taken all those things away I would have still been drinking.

I thought to start with that if I solved all the problems I thought caused me to drink I would be able to stop drinking. Turned out I had to stop drinking in order to sort out the problems.

yes and realizing why just gave me a whole new power to do so...not that its going to be easy but it helps to know why i drink in the first place...when i say drink i dont mean binge drinking...just going a few drinks to far....thats bad enough

Hey nicky very good reply. thank you for that

Nicky I agree and ironically I posted about this yesterday. Ola, I thought I knew why I drank when I finally stopped. That is not why I stopped. I stopped because I knew I was going to die drinking in one form or another. Still, I thought I knew why. Here, two and a half years later, yesterday, I really had a clearer understanding of why I drank when I did. I may see it differently as time goes on.

I think the main thing is that if you have the desire to stop that you do. You will start to see and feel things differently. There are different programs out there. AA worked for me.

Have you tried to stop drinking before? Do you drink everyday? Do you suffer from withdrawal when you stop? I ask because stopping drinking can be dangerous if we are physically addicted and so you need to keep yourself safe when stopping.

Have you thought about how to stay sober and deal with all the emotions and issues that might arise when you are not drinking to block things out. Do you think you need support or do you plan to do it on your own?

I have big exams coming up in 3 weeks so not drinking until then but right afterwards i will deal with my smoking and drinking... need a reset button in life.

I don't have withdrawals but i do have an emotional attachment

Good luck with finals. Not drinking for 3 weeks is a heck of a good start. That was the hardest period for me to get through, and it took quite a few times for me to get just to a month.

Best of luck with the exams. 3weeks without drinking will be a great start in trying to address the problems. Need any help just ask.

Thank you guys very much

I was alone before drinking. I had low self-esteem before drinking and horrible guilt for who knows what before I ever started drinking. I always had feelings that I was a disappointment and letting people down, long before drinking.

Then drinking gave me what I needed to not feel like that anymore. Until it gave me all those other emotions and feelings ten times over, plus many more that were not part of the bargain.
Then I was physically addicted to alcohol.

Now I'm struggling with the alcohol problem, and the emotional and mental problems, all at the same time. AA has helped.

I would be alcoholic even without the mental problems. And I would have the mental problems even without alcohol. Does that make sense?

For me OLA I came to an obvious but to me obscured conclusion to the question : Why did I drink? Well, I happen to live in a country where most ( likely at least 70% ) of adults and older teens ( at least in my day) drank.
I drank because it was and is the cultural norm. The real question is : Why did I drink the way I drank vs. how non-alcoholics drank.? For me chasing why came with the inherent background thought that if I can figure out why and fix why, I could drink like a gentleman. But it doesn't work that way.
I drink like I do because I am an alcoholic and can drink no other way and I am an alcoholic because I drink like I do. Sure alcohol loosens us up and addresses many of the reasons you listed, but only long enough to make the issues worse. .
When I stopped chasing Why Serenity began to creep in

Makes complete sense to me.i had low esteem, fear loneliness etc issues before I started drinking. Then drinking felt like it fixed them for a while and then it made them worse. When I got sober I had to deal with it all. The mental, physical and spiritual aspects. Lots of people have the spiritual issues without being alcoholic. Not sure if I know whether there are alcoholics without spiritual issues. By that I mean depression, fear, anxiety, low self esteem, loneliness, emptiness etc.
I think alcoholism is a lot wider than just physical addiction. And not all alcoholics have a physical addiction. I think it has long been debated as to how to define alcoholism. AA has a way of seeing it that makes sense to me but I know some people do not agree with it.

Nice post #12, totally agree.

I also agree...I think quit drinking first because there is no point in trying to figure out why...it just makes things worse...honestly i don't know if I am an alcoholic by definition but i do know it has screwed me up over and over again.

Just tired. Honestly I wish i could just have a cold beer on a friday night ( 1 only and that's it)

But if not this isn't worth it anymore