Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
How come this never works? (Saying I'll only have a little this time..) How come I keep thinking it will? (I have a severe, well actually more than one, addiction, that is not alcohol or drugs. It has taken over, ruined, and put my life in danger enough times that I started going to AA recently. Reading up on addiction, it is not the object of the addiction, whether a substance or a behavior, that is really the issue, but addictions in general operate similarly.) I keep getting trapped. After a little, I get sucked in. Once I started going to AA very recently, I had a day or two of abstinence. I worked through a lot of feelings, learned a lot about myself, and felt great about really being alive. I've already relapsed. I wanted to use a little, due to a trigger. I got sucked in. I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE IT, OVERALL!! It was more like a comfortable distraction from something in my living environment that triggers a lot of heavy negativity for me. It made me feel stuck, weighed down, groggy, stifled, almost abused in a way, lol. And yet there's a comfort/pleasure, of course, as well, but it wasn't as alluring as usual. And yet now I'm on day 3 of constant using, not leaving my room. It's clear to me the cycle goes: trigger-comfort/distraction/painkiller (i.e. using) -feel gross -use more --feel REALLY gross --really don't want to move/change --stay stuck in addiction (potentially forever). Help!! (Insight?) I'm still trying to figure this all out...
Hope this helps
Cindy
I used to try to moderate, to only have a "little" -- and I tried that for years and years. Finally I gave in, gave up, and was able to see clearly that moderation wasnt an option. It was the *first* drink that got me drunk. It didnt matter about the 5th or 10th, it mattered that I took the first one. And the crazy thing is....its the same today. I havent had a drink in 22 months but I know that my disease progresses. So if I pick up today, it will be *worse,* not even the same, than/ as before.
When I drank, I indulged in other addictive behaviours. What I found is with AA, and the 12 steps, etc. I've been able to stay sober a day at a time. All the other behaviours are gone.
You should go to AA, talk to someone with sobriety you admire. Find out how/ if you "qualify" as an alcoholic. If you do, AA is a great program. If you have something else as a primary addiction, there are likely programs for THAT too.
You don't have to be stuck in that cycle.
As for triggers, there are none for me when I'm working my program. When I wasnt, life and all it entailed were "triggers."
Even worse was the way that alcoholism affected my thinking - it was seriously delusional when it came to alcohol and even when I was not drinking I was obsessing about the stuff.
As the previous poster has suggested, get talking with people at the AA meetings, face to face discussion is best. If you decide you are an alcoholic you can look to finding someone to help you through the 12 Step programme of recovery.