Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have been married for 15 years and we have a 13 yr old daughter. For as long as I can remember all of our fights have been because he had too much to drink. We have tried counseling together but he says he does not have a drinking problem and will never admit it. I have run the gamut of negotiations on what, how and when to drink. First no hard liquor during the week (he would have a beer or wine, still alcohol) then slowly but surely as soon as he is back in my good graces, the drinking increases to his usual.
What to do?
What to do?
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Sounds like you might try Alanon. While you can't fix him, you'll learn some valuable insights on how to live around him - without cosigning his BS...
Hugs,
Dennis
Stop the negotiations. You are literally playing with fire. I hate to say this, but there are no easy answers. If you are willing to go the mile with this alcoholism, then that is up to you. But I am telling you here and now, save yourself a lot of pain and heartache. Get out, get help, change it. You and him.
You can't control his drinking anymore than you can control his heartrate. You can control your reactions to him. That's it.
Enough,
One of the goals of Al-Anon is to help recover your own sense of direction rather than living in reaction to another person's behavior. You may be able to make a clearer decision about remaining in the relationship (or leaving it) when you are focused on your own well-being rather than on the ups and downs of someone else's drinking.
Al-Anon was a life saver for me. My decision to go to my first meeting was based on a desire to understand my alcoholic partner better (non co-depended at all, right?) :) I quickly came to learn that there was a lot I could do within myself to increase my serenity, create healthy boundaries, and live for my own well-being.
Glad you found this site. Lots of good folks here who want you to be happy and well!
I am an alcoholic, I need help.
Don't allow me to lie to you and accept it for the truth, for in so doing, you encourage me to lie. The truth may be painful but get at it.
Don't let me outsmart you. This only teaches me to avoid responsibility and to lose respect for you at the same time.
Don't let me exploit you or take advantage of you. In so doing you become an accomplice to my evasion of responsibility.
Don't lecture me, moralize, scold, praise, blame, or argue when I'm drunk or sober. And don't pour out my liquor; you may feel better, but the situation will be worse.
Don't accept my promises, This is just my method of postponing pain. And don't keep switching agreements. If an agreement is made, stick to it.
Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you and any possibility of helping me.
Don't allow your anxiety with for us compel you to do what I must do for myself.
Don't cover up or abort the consequences of my drinking. It reduces the crisis but perpetuates the illness.
Above all, don't run away from reality as I do. Alcoholism, my illness, gets worse as my drinking continues. Start now to learn, to understand, and to plan for my recovery. I need help from a doctor, a counselor, or a psychologist, another recovered alcoholic, A.A., from God. I cannot help myself.
I hate myself, But I love you. To do nothing is the worst choice you can make for us.
Please help me,
Your Alcoholic
I hope this brings some understanding to your situation. Here is another link that may help too. It is a show my wife and I did, talking to each other about coming to terms with me being an alcoholic.
http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=34015350&refid=stpr
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/that-sober-guy-podcast-episode/id887845353?i=314494220&mt=2