Yes it is the kind of stuff you should share here, with a sponsor of riends in program or if needed in a meeting. If you use those drugs for any reason other than prescribed you are altering your reality to deal with emotional pain and that is not what staying sober is all about. Call someone in the program ASAP. Don't take pills or drink walk through the pain you will be better for it and it will be a lesson worth learning and demonstrate to you that with the program and a higher power you can get through anything and not drink or use no matter what

Things aren't always as they seem when we're drinking angie. I My judgment was clouded and I was pretty delusional about everything.When we get sober and find out how life really is, it presents many hurdles from the past and present. These, like Reed mentioned, you need to work through. Ideally with your sponsor, and the 12 step program, and any other assistance required. Start looking after yourself angie. The pain will pass if you do that. I know it dosn't feel like it at the moment, but it will. Get yourself to a meeting, or call someone. Here's a list of hotlines in your area:

http://depts.washington.edu/adai/hotlines.htm

I'm sorry Angie, that sux! Taking pills is NOT the answer. Whether it's alcohol or drugs, using them to cover an emotion will not help a damn thing because guess where those emotions will be with the pills/booze wears off? Right where you left it, so you take more...vicious cycle that never ends & will likely cause you to spiral out of control.

Don't do it! HE did something wrong, not you! I was in the same situation, had no idea my boyfriend was back LIVING with his ex until she called me one day out of the blue. It was a horrid feeling, but you gotta work through it and move on. He was wrong, not you!

He took a vow to his wife, you didn't! It wasn't your fault that he screwed you BOTH over. I'm sorry you're hurting, work through the feelings & don't try to mask them cause they won't just go away. Stay strong, you will get through this!

Oh and I should add that I'm assuming that you didn't know he was married by my comments....if you didn't know he was married then I stand by what I said. If you did know......

I'm so sorry about what you're going through right now. I'm glad you shared your pain with us. On the up side this is a good thing you do not ever deserve to be second best to anyone, ever!!! What a jerk! Stay strong and sober hun' these feelings will pass ~ find something to focus your time/energy on until the pain goes away and you can realize that you are so much better off without him.

sorry you are in pain...yes by all means share that in your meetings...or pull an old timer aside and ask them about it...pills to cover up emotions will not work...you would eventually go back to drinking....we have to learn to live life on lifes terms....again sorry you are in pain............

get angry at him not yourself by harming yourself with drugs,
he has treated you badly , you have the right to be angry.
If you havent yet got a sponser , and cant find one, ring AA helpline and tell them you need one urgently.
This is stuff you should be sharing with a sponser.
IT good to reach out here too, but if you have someone with a few years of sobriety you can ring daily{a sponser} you are more likely to get through this without relapsing,
Alicexx

I just wanted to say thankyou to everyone who shared. This week has been sooo hard. I am struggling with all these emotions, and he keeps calling me to talk. I don't pick up and I don't buy a bottle eventhough it is going through my mind. I went to a meeting- I couldn't share because I knew I would start crying. I did get enough courage to ask this guy about how to find a sponsor- he has been friendly and helpful. He should be the women's temp sponsor list. I actually called a lady from that list and now she is my temp sponsor. I am supposed to meet her were she goes to meetings were she said she will introduce me to other women strong in recovery. I know that keeping it all inside wasn't going to keep me sober. Thank you for the encouragement and support.
Angie

Yeah it is bad cause there is no pain med for emotional pain, so you will start the using all over again by taking pain meds, there for physical pain not emotional ones.You are not stupid the guy was an assh*le. emotional pain is things you have to deal with if you want to get stronger in sobriety, it's a growing process.