I had a sponsee who didn't tell me she was moving out of state, I was even house sitting for her as she was "visiting" relatives (she was house shopping). Anyway as a first time sponsor, I let it go when the info came out as best as I could to be understanding. I tried to encourage her to go to meetings ASAP in new home town and to get a local sponsor ASAP, that I would be there for her. 2 months and one meeting for her later, I sent an email that lovingly said I wasn't comfortable sponsoring someone who didn't want to attend meetings for recovery. I let it go. I understand AA to not be a place where we "keep tabs" on people, we are here if and when they want us. It wasn't like our relationship was as trustworthy as I thought considering the lack of honesty. A month later I got a very mean email from her discounting my help, accusing me of untrue things, saying how much she'd wanted a new sponsor but didnt' want to hurt my feelings... Anyway I stood up for myself best as I could, apologized for any hurt feelings, tried to explain the situation and that she was told from the beginning she was welcome to find someone else if she wanted, and she softened and admitted she missed our friendship and apologized. I learned not to befriend too closely a newcomer until they have some recovery (she had a year at that time). Anyway so much for that. It feels so icky to have that between us. It was so hard to have those false accusations not retracted. I wanted to help her, I believe I did, I am not perfect, I was never mean. I had to look at the issues she called me on that were true. Any feedback? This has been so hard for me to get over, going on 6 months ago.
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