Hello TaylorSky,

If a person has crossed the line into alcoholism he or she may find that all of the discipline and willpower in the world is not enough to enable them to stop drinking. Sure, there are exceptions to the rule and as you will see from threads here, some people just make up their minds to quit and stick to it but the majority of alcoholics will have gone past the point where they can quit on willpower alone.

When I found that I had lost control over alcohol I tried to go it alone but eventually I had to admit defeat and look for help. I learned that as an alcoholic I could not use alcohol safely and then there was a decision to be made. Do I continue with the struggle and hope for the best or do I copy what had worked for other people in AA? It was not a difficult decision to make but it did require a willingness to look at life in a different way and to keep an open mind. That is what has worked for me, on week days and weekends. I am just back from a book launch where there was plenty of free wine but not once did it occur to me to take a glass. It was not discipline or willpower that kept me from the wine but a change of thinking.

The big question for you now is are you willing to go to any lengths in order to achieve sobriety or will it be a case of hoping for the best and maybe many more day zeros?

Its the TIME (the four letter word of sobriety)...too much TIME and no accountability.

If you really want to curb it...make some commitments on the weekends and maybe your drnking time on the weekend will decline.

It might be easier to handle the weekends if you are committed to sobriety. Till then, they will likely be a struggle.

I try to paint and stay busy, but the idea of a drink
Is always in the back of my mind. I want to go
To AA but I really hate telling my story and talking in front of people. I prefer one on one and just listening.....thank you everyone!

your allowed to say I pass in AA if called on....nobody needs to tell anything that they feel uncomfortable about in a meeting....the one to one comes with sponsor and meetings after or before meetings with some of the people from the meetings....try AA on for a while if you want to get and stay sober...

Hi Taylor sky, you say you paint still which for me is a therapy in itself. But, I hear what you're saying about AA meetings. Can I just say that you're braver than me by actually going! It's hard to find the same love of artistic hobbies when still drinking. I cut down dramatically yesterday, went to bed and woke up absolutely drenched in sweat. But, I read an article about Paloma Faith in the recent news, heard her story about where her music come from and then played some of her songs, really listening to the lyrics. If you've got an artistic mindset, keep on with it. I'm by no means any kind of expert, but do think it can help. Take care sweetie x

Hi TaylorSky, have you heard about finding a sponsor (someone who can offer help through their experience of sobriety one to one) and going through the 12 Step programme? Meetings are great for hearing the sobriety experience of others but it's the programme that helps to remove the problem and that is for the confidential talks in private.

Personally I didn't share anything in meetings for months when I first started going, I had nothing to give. Now I am better I do share but mainly on how I use the programme to problem solve etc and I share only what I would be comfortable for anyone to know. That works for me. I still have a sponsor and personal friends in AA for my more intimate discussions.

I'm avoiding situations that lead me to drink. For me that includes situations where i feel socially awkward and insecure, also not having alcohol in the house. So tonight i stsyed in and watched tv and played brain training games. I wasnt tempted to drink because my hands and mind were occupied at all times. One of the big steps i found helped was telling other people about my commitment to stay sober. I dont respond to doing it for myself but when other people are holding me accountable its easier for me.

I dont think AA would work for me either. I dont see alcoholism as an illness. To me its a symptom so its different ideologies and values for me. I have considered doing some individual counselling around coping mechanisms and self esteem though. Do you do coundelling.

Re the last reply - I learned in AA that the drinking is a symptom, not the illness. The illness is physical and mental.

When I drank alone it was because it was a habit and out of bordom. Other thank the social aspect, it killed time for me.
It makes no sense to say:
'I wouldn't say I do well during the week because I still drink every night', having 2 or 3 glasses of wine. But when the weekend rolls around, even consume more than that till it hits you all at once.
That does not make sence at all.
You wouldn't want to consuming 2-3 soda pops everyday and consume even more soda pop than that on the weekend, would you?
I don't think you would, that would be terrible for you. Try to change you way of thinking, that may help...

Thanks fairilse. I didnt realise that :)