Hello newlife4mee,

Rehab is something I have no experience of so I cannot advise you on that. However, I think that there are other options that you can try if inpatient treatment is difficult for you so rehab is not your only hope.

First of all, going to AA meetings every day or sometimes twice per day is probably not going to solve your problem. Although it is good to attend a lot of meetings in early sobriety it is not the number of meetings that is most important as meetings alone are often not enough. You mentioned the word obsession and that is the key to both your problem and a successful solution. You have an obsession for alcohol and will struggle until you find some means of removing that obsession.

If I was in your place I would go back to AA but with a different approach. What you need is some means of changing your thinking and outlook on life so that alcohol is no longer in your thoughts. The AA Twelve Step programme is designed to do just that. It is not a Do It Yourself programme and in order for you to be successful it is recommended that you should have help from a sponsor. Neither is it an easy option and it will require work on your part but it is well worth the effort as the results can be amazing.

AA is of course not the only option so you could have a look at SMART Recovery, Rational Recovery and other approaches that are mentioned here on DS. However, you could start by going back to AA and getting a good sponsor. After that you need to do the work and to be prepared to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety. If you can be honest with yourself and do what is suggested by your sponsor you can reclaim your life from alcoholism.

Hi I can tell you I went to rehab twice and STILL went back to drinking even though I felt so good when I first came home. I went to AA meetings and STILL went back to drinking, that happens a lot.

Any programme or method of recovery is only as good as the effort that comes from within to do a thorough job of what is suggested. I fell into a trap of my own thinking that because I had been to rehab/AA meetings/read lots of self help books or affirmations etc etc that I was okay or now knew so much about myself and alcoholism that relapse back into drinking was unlikely, thank you very much.

Not so simple. For one thing I could not stay sober just by praying and going to meetings but what did make the world of difference was the willingness to go to any lengths for my sobriety. It meant asking someone who was living a happy and useful sober life (a sponsor) to help me, one to one, with her experience to go through the 12 Steps of recovery as instructed in the Big Book "Alcoholics Anonymous."

As somebody who posts here says "We get sober by the Steps we take, not the meetings we make."

Around the meetings I must have appeared pretty much a "no hoper" until I went through the programme. That gave me the necessary spiritual awakening and a total turnaround in my life.

PJ54 hit it right on the head. It doesn't matter how many meetings you go to, if you aren't going in with an open mind and the true desire to stop drinking, you won't.

For me, the thought of going away to rehab for month and leaving my 9 year, terrified me. I knew I had to let the magic of AA in and I did. I am so happy I did. I am at day 16 and am addicted to AA. I have a sponsor, have made great friends and look forward to meetings every day.

Hang in there and know that you do not have to continue down this destructive road!

I didn't go to treatment either but attended AA ,got real involved and became willing to change! But there were no real magic bullets! The service and step work were done out of a need to understand much more than I had bargained for early on! But the drink question involved firstly just a desire for a different life based less on demands and expectations while freeing me up to see What had really been blocking me off , that Alcohol or Alcoholism could never disguise!!

Mainly my past ways of how I learned to operate in my everyday life, but without the need for a leg up by not being honest about how I interacted with myself and others! Almost as if I was a second class citizen ,either looking for pity or how I tended to dominate and manipulate all whos life I touched!

Time is your friend with a desire for change without having to feel obligated to anyone's pace but your own! Thank God that's what I heard in AA, therapy and all spiritual disciplines I've approached with a thirst for change and understanding !

Its a journey not a destination. Bob E talks on a tape about his recovery mode being like a vital signs monitor always spiking up and down- But a flat line in recovery means the walking dead without the necessary change needed to understand and work our way through what we need to see:)
Good Luck to on your salvage(treasure) hunt!
Out with old in with the NeW:)
Billy

Gosh...u sound just like me some days.

Rehab is a great route but not the only route.

Go back to A.A. Get a sponsor.....and if possible go and visit a friend or relative to dry out.

It is going to be hard...Like you my husband drinks as well. Ask him not to drink around you for a while...until you get stronger.

In rehab you will learn so much about alcoholism and how to stay sober. It would be worth it because you can not be a good role model for your children if this is all they see.

Best Regards.

Here (uk) I had a good experience with a Home Detox, as it suggests its a medical detox at home, a nurse called twice daily, checking pressure, breath test (if cheating) and gave pills to help withdrawal, I felt my only option at time as I could reduce but couldn't do final step. I lasted 6 weeks alcohol free and kick myself for giving in, however I understand, relapsing is part of your overall recovery. I'd like this opportunity again but you have to wait a while (where I'll misbehave in the meantime) so currently for some reason just went cold turkey (wouldn't recommend to everyone to be honest) but just seemed the right time, I agree you have to want to do it, sounds obvious, but I always say 'I can do low level, I haven't got a problem' just my head giving me permission to drink. I owe it to myself a time of absinance I feel, at least to see how my life is without a alcohol haze and give my body a break. Good luck and support in all you do x

((New))

You stated you have small children and that the toll it would take for babysitters would be great"

It would probably take a heavier toll on your family if you continue drinking.

I went to treatment. Learned much about the disease of alcoholism/addition. They hauled us to AA meetings, where , when I accepted that I was alcoholic, worked the steps with a sponsor, and got a new perspective on life, the obsession to drink was removed.

Saved the Higher toll continuing to drink WOULD have been on my family ...