Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Did anyone ever have someone come up to them for help for the drinking, and then ask someone else to be their sponsor? I had a friend of mine call me and come over crying to me for help. I made coffee and listened to her. I shared my experience, strength, and hope with her. Plus I did the first 3 steps with her. I got a little anxious about some of her questions and brought her over to a friend's for help. She ended up asking the friend to sponsor her. Now, I've never sponsored anyone before. But I've been told I'd have to say yes when anyone ever asked. Well, before my friend and I went to the other friend's house, she asked me how long does someone have to be sober to be a sponsor. I told her someone has to be at least a year sober to be able to sponsor someone else. And I had just picked up my 11 yr. chip the Sunday night.
She and I have known each other for years. We went to school together. I feel some newcomers think they have to have someone with over 20 yrs. sobriety to sponsor them. Or maybe I'm just not sponsor material. I'll be the first to admit, I don't read my recovery books and do all the things they say to do, but I've been sober and happy (most of the time) in the past 11 years. Something is working for me. Any input would be welcome. Thank you.
She and I have known each other for years. We went to school together. I feel some newcomers think they have to have someone with over 20 yrs. sobriety to sponsor them. Or maybe I'm just not sponsor material. I'll be the first to admit, I don't read my recovery books and do all the things they say to do, but I've been sober and happy (most of the time) in the past 11 years. Something is working for me. Any input would be welcome. Thank you.
My sponsor has 28 years and wants me to say YES the next time someone asks me. I've got just over 7 months but I've worked all 12 steps, I've had a spiritual awakening, and I live in the steps to the best of my ability on a daily basis.
All I can share with you is my experience and I was sponsored the old fashioned way - taken through the Steps quickly and then straight into service as a sponsor under the careful observation of my sponsor.
I really needed my sponsor's guidance then and I need it today, all sorts of things crop up that have not been encountered before when sponsoring.
It's an experience learned as you go along and experience is the key word here. So my sponsor shares a lot of hers too - all my sponsees have a means of direct contact with my sponsor if they want or need it.
Please don't doubt your ability to be a good sponsor just because she chose someone else. I am sure she appreciated your help and the fact you did help her is good enough.
There could be many reasons she asked your friend instead. One possibility is that perhaps she thought you were too close to her, having known her all those years. That can be awkward for an honest 4 and 5 etc. Whatever her reason, it doesn't really matter - the main thing is she is seeking help and will be helped.
Another good way to get experience is to be a part of a 12 Step call responder and 12 Step visit team. Ask your own sponsor for guidance too, of course.
My sponsor has a sponsor. My sponsor's sponsor has a sponsor. And when I get a sponsee, I will lean on my sponsor's experience, and so on and so on:)
Its all about giving it away to keep it as far as I can tell!
I have been through 5 sponsors in the 2 yrs I have been around AA. I never chose someone who I considered a friend until my latest sponsor. I have lots of other good friends who work great programs and who have more years of sobriety but for personal reasons, I would not ask them to sponsor me. I think a part of me just wants to preserve those friendships as they are.
There could be lots of reasons why she didn't ask you. I wouldn't take it personally. Just my opinion, but I WOULD definitely ask YOUR sponsor why she thinks no one has asked you. Also my opinion though, I don't think you have to be a sponsor to work with other alcoholics - ultimately it's the working with that is key.
Good luck.