Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
to work for someone else's sobriety? Are you willing to work harder for someone else's sobriety then they are willing to work themselves?
In my early days as a sponsor, I was a doormat for my sponsees. I would not hold them accountable and let it slide when they "forgot" an appointment to work the steps, I would hand their hands and pat their tushies when they slipped, I would listen to hours of drama and chaos, all in hopes that I softer, gentler touch would help them find recovery.
I soon learned the heartbreaking truth - that I could not wish, hope or pray someone sober, and as "nice" and understanding as I might try to be, I was not helping them.
After about a year of sponsoring failures, I finally understood the message of the BB chapter "Working with others". I decided to set boundaries about sponsoring, so as not to waste time on the man who is not interested, so I can help the man who is.
Any thoughts?
In my early days as a sponsor, I was a doormat for my sponsees. I would not hold them accountable and let it slide when they "forgot" an appointment to work the steps, I would hand their hands and pat their tushies when they slipped, I would listen to hours of drama and chaos, all in hopes that I softer, gentler touch would help them find recovery.
I soon learned the heartbreaking truth - that I could not wish, hope or pray someone sober, and as "nice" and understanding as I might try to be, I was not helping them.
After about a year of sponsoring failures, I finally understood the message of the BB chapter "Working with others". I decided to set boundaries about sponsoring, so as not to waste time on the man who is not interested, so I can help the man who is.
Any thoughts?
I am not a sponsor, but I am a sponsee. I appreciate and respect those people who set and consistently uphold solid boundaries.
I know it is a character defect of mine to push and manipulate - I try to work on this. The healthiest people with the strongest boundaries are the greatest help to me. I think.
I tell my sponsees that right off the bat. That I cannot work harder for their sobriety than them. As a sponsor, how can I teach a sponsee boundaries if I'm not using them?
Yes, I also made many mistakes sponsoring in the beginning, just like you mention. All this growing up in public is necessary.
I'm pretty no-nonsense today when it comes to working with others. Alcoholics serious about recovering from this malady, in my experience as a sponsor and as a sponsee, appreciate the straight forward information, not the candy coating.
A.