first off a big hello for coming here to DS alcoholism group for support....I am so sorry for all the loss you recently have gone thru in your life. I have heard that a parent losing a child is the hardest thing to have happen. Alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful. If you agree that is good. If you think you have trouble with drinking then you kind of might fit into this group. If you think you can control your drinking then you might try to control your drinking by stopping completely for a month. If you can control the drinking and stop for a month, you might not be an alcoholic. I can never tell you if you are or not. Your question relates to closing this chapter of your life with asking how do you stop? I think removing it from your home completely is important first step. Then making every effort to not buy more keeps it out of your hands. Turning the rest over to HP is something that will hopefully help. Many people have fallen on their knees to say GOD help me! and have taken the cure with the AA help that is suggested here often.

I hope you find comfort and help here. It could be that control is last thing you find you have lost before you completely stop. If having control is gone you might think of decision to declare yourself an alcoholic like many in your family and see what alcoholics can do to help you by attending some AA meetings.

Hello, gk, and welcome.

I am very sorry for your recent losses.

I don't think there is any one way to stop, what works for some people is useless for others.

I found AA, or it found me, and I stick with it. But my first contact when I needed and wanted help to stop drinking was a medical professional. I had seen a few doctors and had always kinda sorta told them about my drinking habits, but when I really wanted to stop I told a doctor about all of it ... I was beat up, I wanted help desperately.

I have heard good things about medications like campral. I have heard good things about cognitive-behavioral therapy. I know plenty of people sober in AA. It starts with reaching out, as you have here. Once I admitted that my drinking was no longer fun and I was doing it anyway, it was the beginning of the end. Once I admitted I wanted to stop to a doctor, it was time to take some action.

Remember ... alcohol is not a dietary necessity. Whatever calming effect it has it takes back with a vengeance (rebound effect). It was hard for me to imagine a life without alcohol, but, as they say, one day at a time -- all I have ever done was try to figure out what to do so as not to drink today.

Best of luck. I hope you find some answers and some peace of mind.

Yes!! I was brought to a AA meeting many years ago , identified across the board as a Alcoholic, Got sold on the idea of meeting's , hanging out with sober people and doing what it takes to remain a Sober member of Society... without to much Drama ....It has worked for me :)
"A day at a Time "
Billy

Don't pick up the drink - there's other forms of liquid that you can consume - change your routine as much as you possibly can and you may have to change your social circle and other life style habits - pick up new routines, working out is always a great thing to burn off stress and produce good healthy endorphines - for me, for years, i had to change what i viewed on tv, listen to in music - as so much was associated with drinking -

You gotta make the change you want -

But the first thing in stopping is not picking up - make the right choice and with hard work and determination it will all fall into place.

Peace!

you may want tolook into grief counseling or seek out spiritual help from your local church.

I am sorry for your losses.

Peace!

Hello gkg21,

I am so sorry to hear about all of your loses and can fully understand that you would use alcohol to numb the feelings. Alcohol does work up to a point but after a while it only adds to your troubles in a big way. It can also cause and add to depression and other emotional problems.

You say that you have read the Big Book but it did not speak to you. This is not surprising as it would be extremely difficult to grasp the message that is in the B.B. without the help of someone who has had it explained to them already. When I went to the first AA meeting I read the 12 Steps on the scroll that was up on the wall and thought: Well, I have those first three done already, just by reading them. I knew nothing about the deep meaning behind the words or the fact that there are often two or three different things being said in each of the short sentences. It was only by listening to people who had done it already that I began to get a grasp of the true meaning. I could never have done that on my own so it was necessary to get a sponsor to explain it to me. The Big Book then took on a whole new meaning that I could never have seen on my own no matter how many times that I would read it.

You ask: How do I start stopping and that is a good question. Stopping is often the easy part but staying stopped can be a lot more difficult. If you are an alcoholic it is unlikely that you will beat it on your own. I know this not just because many people have told me but also because I tried for myself and failed completely. Therefore, it was necessary for me to find support from people who had the same problem that I had and who had found a solution to their problem. If it worked for them, maybe it would work for me too. To find that support I went to meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.

AA told me that I was powerless over alcohol and that my life had become unmanageable. I certainly could not argue with that because the evidence was all around. If my problem is that I am powerless, the obvious solution is to find some power - a power greater than myself. I immediately found that power in the rooms of AA because the urge to drink started to go, almost immediately. Therefore, AA had become to me, that power that is greater than myself and I could now do what had been impossible to do on my own.

In order to deal with the things in life that caused me to rely on alcohol and the things that would be likely to make me drink again, I needed a bit more help. I needed to look at myself and to put right some things that were and are wrong. Again, I could not do this on my own and it was suggested that I should try a spiritual approach to the problem. If I could seek help from a still greater power than AA, I would recover from alcoholism. This higher power could be anything that I wanted it to be but it was suggested that I could call it the God of My Understanding. Somewhere along the way as we travel that road, a change occurs in the way of thinking. This change has many names but it can be described as a spiritual awakening - one that is sufficient to allow us to recover from alcoholism.

That is what has worked for me, despite the many doubts that I had. I have a strong belief that it can work for you too.

Welcome to DS. I have been sober 2 1/2 months, so I'm pretty new at this. I have received tons of support and encouragement from DS. I've read all the advice given to you, great advice. I attend AA meetings 6 days a week, sometimes 2 a day. For me, reading the Big Book is good, but the meetings are what made me stop drinking. I never realized I would meet such wonderful people, form friendships, and attend fun get togethers, meet for coffee, lunch.
I got a sponsor the "first" week I stopped drinking. Oh yes, I've lost 17 pounds in 2 months, just from not drinking. I try to walk some every day, just for fresh air. I lift weights sometimes, but I need to really start working out. I also asked myself "am I an alcoholic"? I knew the answer before I asked, I had all the symptoms.
I wish you the best, and so sorry you've lost so many loved ones!