Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have noticed on here how when people share that they are struggling or have relapsed or are having a difficult time people often reply back that things will get better.
I wanted to share my own experience of this. When I first got sober and started going to AA I felt terrible. In a way stopping drinking was the start of my problems, I now had to face me, my life, my problems without alcohol and, though I didnt know it at the time, I got to experience the full force of untreated alcoholism.
People told me it would get better in time but they didn't really tell me how it would get better. As if maybe the passage of time would be enough. What the passage of time did for me was make things worse. Things got more and more difficult to deal with and as well as drinking I ended up being admitted to a mental hospital as I was so mentally destroyed.
At first I was very confused. If alcohol was my problem and I wasnt drinking any more then how come I was sitting in a mental hospital. Why weren't things getting better like people said they would? Why was sobriety turning out to be just as bad as drinking?
Luckily I met some people who explained alcoholism to me. They also had some experience of sobriety and they told me that things could get better - much, much better. However there was a but, quite a big BUT and it was that my problems were not going to sort themselves, my alcoholism wasn't going to disappear on its own. In this situation time alone would not be the great healer.
It would take some action on my part. For me that was the 12 step program. For other people it might be something different. But in pretty much every case it seems to take more than just stopping drinking and waiting for things to get better. Abstinence is not the solution to alcoholism, it takes a lot more than that to deal with the underlying problem so that I can be relieved of the mental obsession. My experience is that if i just rely on time then the obsession and the desire to drink gets stronger not weaker and my problems with living get bigger not smaller.
Life can change and get better in remarkable ways but it always takes action on my part. Recognising the problem is a big step in the right direction but applying a solution is what made things better for me.
I wanted to share my own experience of this. When I first got sober and started going to AA I felt terrible. In a way stopping drinking was the start of my problems, I now had to face me, my life, my problems without alcohol and, though I didnt know it at the time, I got to experience the full force of untreated alcoholism.
People told me it would get better in time but they didn't really tell me how it would get better. As if maybe the passage of time would be enough. What the passage of time did for me was make things worse. Things got more and more difficult to deal with and as well as drinking I ended up being admitted to a mental hospital as I was so mentally destroyed.
At first I was very confused. If alcohol was my problem and I wasnt drinking any more then how come I was sitting in a mental hospital. Why weren't things getting better like people said they would? Why was sobriety turning out to be just as bad as drinking?
Luckily I met some people who explained alcoholism to me. They also had some experience of sobriety and they told me that things could get better - much, much better. However there was a but, quite a big BUT and it was that my problems were not going to sort themselves, my alcoholism wasn't going to disappear on its own. In this situation time alone would not be the great healer.
It would take some action on my part. For me that was the 12 step program. For other people it might be something different. But in pretty much every case it seems to take more than just stopping drinking and waiting for things to get better. Abstinence is not the solution to alcoholism, it takes a lot more than that to deal with the underlying problem so that I can be relieved of the mental obsession. My experience is that if i just rely on time then the obsession and the desire to drink gets stronger not weaker and my problems with living get bigger not smaller.
Life can change and get better in remarkable ways but it always takes action on my part. Recognising the problem is a big step in the right direction but applying a solution is what made things better for me.
This is an awesome post. I really don't have anything I can add.
Thank you for openly sharing your story. I hope it plants a seed of hope for someone else.
xo
I would say as well Nicky that the absolute same applies to anyone, anyone, ANYONE, no matter how long in time you have been sober. Its what we do with the Day that we have been given that matters. 1. I could tell myself (EGO) that "Ive been sober ..I dont really need to do that?" or 2. I could let Fear and anxiety become my constant companions. Yeah, I know they will be there at times in my life - but they dont have to be there "constantly" lol) and as a rsult not fulfill my potential by really doing something with my time.
I suppose everyones different however, Faith without works is dead they say eh. In my experience every, every time I have decided F...K it Im going to DO some thing I have always came out stronger.
For me Ivenot taken any alcohol for quite a few years, just a fact thats all. However, I am more than that. Today I am about listening to my Loving inner voice (Higher Love/Power) instead of my Ego (negative bully) that will tell me so may excuses and reasons to not do something.
Yes I can think and talk...but Walking and Action get me the best results. Cheers
I was granted alotta awareness of my condition from the 12 steps of AA and asshole sponsorship.
On my knees every morning with the third step prayer for my entire 3rd year.
Live in exactly that moment of time inside my hula hoop, breathing and now knowing that life is tough, it is how I react to it.
Review my day at night time and say thanx.
Will not give up my home group buddies and AA buddies.
Not to mention being in the fellowship brings alotta work,, gotta love it, one of those fringe benefits. lol
Well, this is how I learned that AA does not, cannot help me with all those other issues that made me mentally ill. What I do know is that I couldn't have recovered from the mental illness had I still been drinking - it simply wouldn't have been possible.
I spent 8 months in that place before a penny dropped for me and I realised that if I wanted to recover mentally I would need to let go of three major resentments I had - it was the first time I even understood that what I was feeling with these people was resentment. I knew that if I did not let them go I would either drink again because I cannot stand the pain and turmoil of my life or I would kill myself, which I had already tried to do.
I used to sit in meetings and listen to people say that 'Misery is optional' and I would hate that because I didn't understand what they meant. What it meant was that even though horrible things might happen in life, it didn't mean that I would need to be miserable. I would and could be sad, broken-hearted, bewildered but I didn't have to be miserable.
What I have been able to do is to live through those horrible times with my spirit intact. I learned that I could have an underlying happiness even when I was hurting. This was a shock for me because I had always believed that the way to convince everyone that I was suffering was to be miserable.
In recovery I have lost people that I loved. My dad, my nan and the most recent my husband. When I lost him I hurt more than I ever had before. It broke my heart and I guess that it will always feel that way to some extent. Sometimes a huge wave of grief hits me and I miss him so much, even though it is more than 5 years ago.
But just getting through that time was so much more than that because I was no longer terrified by my own powerful, painful emotions. It meant that I could support our son in his grief, support and explain to my 9 year old graddaughter about what was happening to her beloved grandad.
It's not only that I could get through all this stuff, it's that I can and have LIVED through it all. I have found the promise that I would be able to use my experience to benefit others and that is what I have done. It has given me a way to be with people in their own grief. That is an amazing gift to have been given.
At the time when I was sitting in the hospital that first night, I couldn't understand what was going on. I spent 8 months there and it gave me a huge opportunity to grow and develop as a person.
I no longer have to injure myself because the pain of my life was unbearable. I have become a truly alive, feeling, emotionally and mentally healthy woman. It all started with those 12 steps and when I began them I could have no idea what life was going to be like, so I had to trust because I felt like I had no other choice and I am so glad that I didn't!
I relate to what you said.....I got tired of hearing that it would get better and when I was tired of hearing that it would get better, I was finally receptive to the "HOW" part. The 12 steps are what made it better for me...but like you said, whatever it is that you do, it is absolutely more than just abstinence.
I would sure be a miserable person if I didn't do some work on ME and was simply "not drinking".
I realized a lot about myself through the steps and I realized a lot about how I treat other people and how I'd like to be treated and HOW to be treated the way I'd like to be treated BY treating people the way I'd like to be treated. lol! Does that make sense? :)
Yes, it sux to examine yourself...yes, it's hard as hell, but it's totally worth it.
The 12 steps is the foundation of my sobriety. Traveling that journey, I found out who I was, and what and who had shaped me to become that person. Step 4 was a real turning point for me, and as I found areas of my life that needed further help, I went about that with those better qualified to deal with them.
Life can change, but only we can make that possible. One thing I did learn, is I don't have to ever go it alone. I am responsible for doing the legwork though. Can't move forward in life unless I keep the momentum going. Thanks Nicky.