Please see my post on treating addictions. I am open to discussion.

I'm 70 days sober, and what has helped me is telling myself I cannot under any circumstances have a drink, and always having diet soda on hand. In those situations where you "need" a drink, open a soda and pound half of it like a beer. You obviously wont get that drunk feeling, but sipping on somehing could help wih the cravings...and you wont feel ashamed in the morning. Going through any situation where you would normally drink for the first time is always the hardest, but it will get easier experiencing them the second and third time around. Good luck!

Pelligrino and exercise

Hi loveface,

It's great that you're recognizing that the drinking is increasing. You mentioned that you haven't lose your job or gotten a DWI. You also haven't lost your husband, your kids, your house, your car, your health...but these all can be lost if we continue down the path of progressive drinking. I lost many of those things. Have the DUI too, thank you very much.

I also never drank during the day...at first. Then I was chugging vodka at six in the morning just to get myself out the door. Not saying this will happen to you per se, but if you alcoholism (not sure?), then yes, it gets worse. It's a progressive and fatal disease.

But if you're here asking these questions, and you're already worried about the job and family, if your husband has misgivings about how you are when you drink...then maybe there is something to it all.

I always look at these two questions from the big book of AA when someone in unsure if they have a problem. To quote:

"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."

Now, I am talking AA - that is what has worked for me, and continues to do so. There are others here who have gone other paths, so feel free to explore them all.

Those cravings you mention are the mental obsession - the never ending and dominant, sneaky, cunning thoughts that will always try to convince you (and very good at it too) that it's ok to have a drink. That this time *it will be different*. And once you get that first drink in you, the physical allergy / craving kicks in and you want more and then off to the races.

The only way I could break free of that destructive cycle was getting into AA and working the steps. If it could work for someone like me, it can work for anyone else.

As per your question - how do you make yourself strong? I couldn't "make" myself strong. I couldn't use my sick mind to heal my sick mind. I couldn't use the same brain that craved booze to make myself strong against the same brain!! I had to plug into a spiritual power that could do that for me.

I hope you find what you are looking for. :)

I strongly believe that TIME is your best friend. I have been in and out of recovery(3 rehabs, AA meetings, extensive therapy) for about 12 years now. I have tried eveything imaginable to help with the cravings. I had to reprogram my thinking by not giving in to those urges. I always made excuses to drink. Now i think "why do I really want to drink?"and then i think well it does not suit me because I am not a social drinker I am a binge drinker and I'll have to change my sobriety date again. As for hanging around people who drink in the first few months(i have 9 months now)of being or trying to stay sober-I DONT!! After TIME I have been able to put myself at social gatherings were people DRINK. What Im conveying to you is that for me after TIME I lost those cravings and in TIME you will too. One day at TIME. NUMBER ONE RULE DO NOT TAKE THAT FIRST DRINK. You do not want to loose your job, home,family etc. and hit rock bottom like myself. Stop while you are ahead. I forgive myself now but I cant take back all the damage Ive done but I can move on. It just took some TIME.

Just my experience you have to get done and have that moment of clarity that you just can't do it anymore.

See it all the time people say I haven't lost this of that BUT sooner or later if your alcoholic it will.

Has nothing to do family, friends or anything like that you have to make the decision for yourself.

I see from your profile you want to drink only on weekends again of your alcoholic there is no such animal, I would suggest you get educated on alcoholism and go from there.

All the best.

Cravings are your body's way of keeping is chemical balance. If you are a drinker or and heroin addict doesn't make a difference. The body has gotten comfortable in that toxic state. to help with cravings understand that your personal chemical make up is changing. That's why detoxification is so rough on the body.
To stop cravings there are the tried and true methods. keeping busy in a non triggering environment. Purposefully drinking water or tea when you feel the need for alcohol. Get counseling on behavioral change. Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) comes to mind. Therapy will re balance the mind.
To re balance the body, there is an old computer term that applies. GIGO. That stands for garbage in garbage out. If you put poison in your body your body will become poisonous (or toxic). If you put healthy fruits and vegetables, lean meats, nuts and legumes in your diet along with healthier drinks ( NO soda or pop, truly poison in a bottle) your body will start to heal itself.
Always remember, especially when cravings are hardest, that you are in control of your actions. If you drink it is your choice, if you don't drink that is your choice too. The idea is to replace that activity with a healthy one.
Family needs to also understand that alcohol is an issue for you and while you don't need for them to change, you need to. Getting their support would go a long way to helping you stay sober.
Good luck. I am here if you want to talk

Is one drink not enough?
Do you plan your days around getting your drink on?
Have you ever had a blackout? Or, rather, are you a blackout drinker?
Been ashamed of what you said or did the next morning?
Felt like you were going to die from a hangover?
Acted like a totally different person when drinking so that anyone who knew you sober wouldnt believe you were the same person when drunk?
Do you really feel like you would finally be hitting bottom if you got a DUI, injured someone, lost your job, your spouse, family, and friends would you wait until one of those things happened before you did something about your drinking?
Did I wait until I hit bottom? HELL NO. All that other shit was bad enough for me to want to quit! As they say . Why wait until you hit absolute bottom? Sometimes the bottom comes up to meet you.

Hope you figure things out for yourself and for the others around you who love you.

Try going to AA Meetings. The only requirement in those rooms is that you have a desire to stop drinking.

Good luck to you and God Bless.

Hello loveface,

I have had the same job for a lifetime, never got a DUI, paid off my mortgage and put my family through college. Yet, without a shadow of a doubt, I am an alcoholic and cannot drink safely.

When I finally came to admit that I had a problem with alcohol, I was fortunate to meet up with a group of people who had overcome the same problem and they told me how it worked for them. If they had said that I had to give up drinking for good, I would probably be either drunk or dead right now. Instead, they told me to try and stay sober for one day today.

If the amount that you are drinking is increasing more and more every night and you either cannot stop at a couple of drinks or cannot stop for a period of time, there is a good chance that you are addicted to alcohol. What you have described are some of the symptoms of alcoholism. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic but bear in mind that you need to be honest with yourself, something that alcoholics are not used to doing. If you decide that you are an alcoholic, it may seem like the end of the world for you but based on my own experience I can tell you that it is only a minor setback and you can live a full and a happy life without alcohol.

If you are an alcoholic you have two options to choose from. The first option is to continue drinking, maybe trying to control it or cut back on the amount that you drink or changing brands etc. The bad news is that again based on the experience of countless other people as well as my own, I can tell you that this approach will end in failure. Alcoholism is a progressive illness and as you can already see from your own drinking, the amount increases over a period of time. You can be sure about one thing if you keep drinking, it will get a lot worse.

The second option that you have is to quit drinking and really, if you want to be around to see the grandchildren growing up, this sobriety option is the only show in town. The strange thing about alcoholism is that making yourself strong as you have described it is usually not enough. In fact, it is only by admitting total defeat and seeking help that many recover from alcoholism.

It may be useful for you to know a bit about how alcoholism works. What you have called cravings is often described as an obsession of the mind for alcohol. Looking forward to having those couple of drinks in the evening becomes your driving force and it goes from having a glass of wine a couple of nights per week to becoming obsessed with having a drink every night. You will feel on edge and unhappy if for some reason you cannot have a drink.

This mental obsession for alcohol would not be a problem if it was not for the second component of alcoholism. Somewhere along the way an alcoholic develops an abnormal physical reaction to alcohol something that happens in the body rather than in the mind. An abnormal physical reaction to a substance often causes an allergy and this type of reaction to alcohol is similar to an allergy. The difference is that instead of breaking out in a skin rash such as would happen if you ate strawberries and were allergic to them, the alcoholic develops a craving in the body for more alcohol. The only way to satisfy this physical craving is to take another drink and this second drink doubles the craving. That is why you may plan to relax at night with one or two drinks and finish up drinking the whole bottle and maybe more.

The good news for an alcoholic is that the craving which results in being surrounded by empty bottles cannot develop at all if the first drink can be avoided. Therefore, the solution to your problem if you are an alcoholic is to avoid taking the first drink. I can hear you now saying that is a pretty tall order and something that would be impossible to do. Well, the clue to success is in the last sentence of your post: How do I get it out of my head that I need a drink??????

If you cannot on your own get it out of your head that you need a drink then it is time to look for help. There are various ways of getting that help but for many alcoholics it means getting some sort of programme of recovery. You will see a reference to things like Rational Recover, Smart Recovery, Women in Recovery etc. here on D.S. and by all means check those out. All that I can tell you about is Alcoholics Anonymous because that is what has worked for me.

Like you, there are a lot of horrible things that have never happened to me as the result of drinking. However, there is one little word that scared the hell out of me a few years ago the word YET. I know that if I take a drink today or any other day, those things that have not happened yet are waiting around the corner. I am in no way unique so if you are an alcoholic, the yets are out there for you too.

Thanks to AA, I no longer worry about drinking. I have long since got it out of my head that I need a drink. Not only do I not need a drink but life without alcohol is very good indeed, even if bad things still happen now and again. What you do is your business and I have no right to tell you what to do. However, when I found myself in a hopeless place a few years ago because of drinking, a lady said to me: Go to a meeting you wont regret it. That was the best advice I ever got.

I saw myself drinking more. I saw where it was taking me. My son was the one with the duis and jail and lost jobs. I quit "to support him" and was ok for 6 months. I went back to drinking wine to relax one night, and had a blackout, worse hangover of my life, and found out I had only had two glasses....I thought "God is certainly giving me a message" and I quit.
Now? most of my family has cut way down, going without at alot of family gatherings, and some have quit completely.
Nobody says we have to ride the elevator to the pits of hell...we can get off any time we want. The sooner the better.
Just say "I will not drink today" the days add up. Join AA (my son is in it) or not. (I am not) read books about it...figure out why you are trying not to feel feelings, and substitute exercise, healthy foods, and a hobby to keep your hands busy at night ( I went back to knitting) and ask your husband for support about it. If all that fails, a rehab is a good place to learn what you will need to figure out. You are worth it, so is your marriage and your children. Do it, Quit.