Two words: twelve steps. The trick is to chip away at the false self we created to mask our alcoholism, and then our real & undiscovered self shines through the wreckage as an unintended result.

It's the ride of lifetime. Recovery has given me a second life. And this isn't a hope or a theory. It's all in the rear-view mirror now.

No one took your dreams. You turned your back on them. Nothing is keeping you from your dreams. We learn that people ,places and things should not affect our lives if we dont let them. Get yourself to AA and discover how to deal with life with life on lifes terms. If that means surrendering your self will so be it.Once we learn how to stop fighting everyone and every thing we can focus on our dreams once again.
Greg

Great one Greg, you too, Nemo.

Hello kemann,

Two words that I am reluctant to use here on D.S. because they tend to arouse so much hostility but I will whisper so that nobody else hears: Twelve Steps. Nemo has put it very well but Im the long posts guy so I will elaborate a bit more.

If you have been drinking and have come to rely on alcohol over a number of years you will have formed some habits that are difficult to break without help. If the brakes on your car were faulty you would be foolish not to bring it to a mechanic; if you had a pain in the chest it would be unwise to avoid going to the doctor. Both of those problems could kill you so you would be likely to do the right thing in order to survive. Alcoholism can kill you too, in a very unpleasant way and yet people maintain that they can do a DIY job on treating the condition.

Down through the ages there is no treatment that you can imagine that alcoholics have not used to try and cure their alcoholism and enable them to drink like gentlemen and one thing that they had in common was that they all failed. Whether by divine intervention or just out of one mans desperation the Twelve Step programme of Alcoholics Anonymous came into existence and it has been found to work for alcoholics where all other methods had failed.

Like you, I had many dreams and ambitions but drinking became the only important driving force in my life, with everything else eventually falling by the wayside. Sometimes I blamed my own shortcomings and sometimes my ambitions were unrealistic but very often I blamed life, other people, God (for not making me smarter), the place where I lived, the bad weather or maybe the barking dog next door. Anything and everything were to blame but never alcohol because that was what gave my inspiration.

Now that alcohol is not in the equation I can look at those dreams again and maybe even make a few come true. The best part is that even if I fail to achieve my ambitions it will still be ok and I am confident that I will not drink over it. You are standing before a locked door and your dreams are on the other side. You can bang tour head against the door and feel sorry for yourself forevermore and nothing will change except that you will have a sore head. On the other hand, the key to the door is available to you and all that you need to do is to reach out and grab it.

The label on the key is: Twelve Steps.

You know, the people who poo-poo the 12 steps are the ones who have never done them. Boy, it's a nice way to live once they become our way of life.

Nemo was spot on with his post.

AND you have already taken the 1st step :)

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable"

I've found working with a sponsor (actually 3 in 3 years) very slowly (only on step 11 :D ) has been life affirming. My life (and health) has been given back to me.

Agree 100% with Nemo and Greg's posts. Great advice there.

Take hold of your life! When you feel like you are painted into a corner-step through the paint to get out!

I had to become absolutely crushed to see that all these barriers were of my OWN doing. I was absolutely in charge of making or breaking my plans in life. No one was doing anything to me-it was all about me taking on this crap and internalizing it. Then using it as excuses for why I was sick and not living correctly.

Shatter these illusions-no one holds us back from anything but ourselves.

As long as you are breathing-their is hope.

There is hope and there is help.I had at onetime given up on everything.I thought it was everybodys fault,even circumstance..I was living like this is the way the chips fell.....I started working the steps back in 07..After twentysome years of being victim I found I was the perp..What a awakening!..I not only dream my dreams I am finally able to take action on them.It is not a perfection its a progression !!

You've heard from the AA community within this room so I'll add a different perspective.

Every journey starts with a first step. "Move a muscle, change a thought is an old adage that applies to so many people - including you. When you feel those feelings of frustration, that's the time to move a muscle!

I went through a tough time at the end of last year into early this year - it's amazing of how running every day or every other day was so helpful. Combine that with some great music to listen to and it was a great choice.

After twentysome years of being victim I found I was the perp.

Lisa, I LOVE that!!

Running every other day helped me moderate my drinking for about 18 months in my early 20's. Guess what happened though? Injuries. Boredom. Lack of motivation. Success in life. Failure in life. Birthdays. Funerals. Sooner later taking a drink was always easier and quicker than strapping on my shoes and running in the rain for 90 minutes. In a short time, things were as bad as ever.

It's amazing to me how many people believe obsessive running is an easy way to stop drinking.

I find this post so interesting, coming from the other end of addiction (gf of alcoholic) it is always amazing to me that he tends to blame me and everyone else for the problems he has created....
I even confronted him at one point and asked him why he did prison time for drugs and alcohol (5 years before we met mind U) and of course that was my fault too.....it was my fault his wife left him 6 years before we met, I can go on and on....but won't, I hope U get where I am going with this....
I don't mean to point fingers or preach, and I certainly am not w/o MY faults either, but I own them and do my very best to apologize, correct and hopefully not repeat those same mistakes :)

You have just begun a marvelous adventure - finding yourself and building the life you want. The hard work and determination to get and stay sober will fill you with great pride.

Along with other suggestions, I find riding my bike throughout my town clears my head and keeps me fit.

You will work your plan and hopefully, you will begin counting the days of being sober and feeling healthy again.

Best wishes