Kevin, keep that miracle alive.

Yes - tis the season to drink excessively and make it OK because there’s a reason.

Boy how I justified my drinking years ago. Holidays, good days, bad days.

The difference is I now I have a support system that’s great and an internal guide that reminds me how destructive the drinking is for me.

Happy holidays friend. This is a great post for people retiring to stay sober during the holidays for the first time.

Thank you for this post, Kevin.

I do have slight dread for the holidays this year. First, Christmas will inconvenience the Tuesday night routine that I have become accustomed to. Damn holidays...and second, I will going completely against my routine of hanging out with other lonely people at the bar.

Christmas has never been a big celebration in my eyes. Growing up, it was the day my dad switched alcohol and went insane. And for me, it's usually when the kids go away and I have no reason to give a damn.

My oldest son will be staying home this year, so I won't be completely alone. My home group is also having a potluck supper, in which I can bring my children and other family. I have invited my mom, as I believe I am ready for her to come more into my world.

There are a couple of "anniversaries" between November and April that have had me terrified. I haven't been sleeping too well, and in turn have had a lot of cravings. But I survived November. And time has been going so fast, it'll be over in no time.

Speaking for myself, after 14 years, sobriety is easy, and it has been for quite a long time now.

You see, the obsession to drink has been removed. Alcohol is a moot point in my life. It is a non-issue.

IMHO, one is still powerless over alcohol if after an extended time of abstinence/recovery/sobriety, not drinking is still a struggle.

I post my experience regarding long term sobriety because the overwhelming message on this forum is that sobriety is difficult to maintain and is a day-to-day struggle in a scary world full of triggers.

If, as a newcomer, this was the message I was getting, I don't know if I would have put forth the effort to get sober knowing I would be fighting for God knows how long to not drink. I
f I thought that is what "sober living" was all about, I'd just as soon stay drunk.

I want the newcomers to know that not drinking and sober living doesn't have to be a constant fight against the bottle. As I mentioned previously, alcohol is a non issue in my life. It no longer dominates my thoughts and actions. I rarely, rarely think about alcohol. Holidays, weddings and parties are not a source of anxiety. A trip to the grocery store and the beer and wine aisle is not a triggering situation. Seeing a beer ad on TV, or a billboard advertising booze doesn't throw me into panic.

Sober life CAN be and is easy once the surrender is complete. With surrender there is no more fighting for control, and without fighting, there is peace and serenity.

You bring up some good points AdelynRene, the disruption the Holidays cause to our routines, and not having our drinking friends to share the misery like we used to. But sounds like you have your group, family and friends who support you now and the old drinking crowd can't compare to these people. I'm still healing relations with my daughter, the only family I have left. She invited me to her place for Christmas for the first time in years, so it's a good start. We will survive this, and be stronger for it. Thanks Jeff, yes, the support system makes all the difference!

Yard, you are spot on. Theres a lot of excuses and justifications on controloing the drinking..

I agree 100% - lose the obsession and it’s not an issue.

I remember those days well.... horrible feelings of loss and isolation. The Holiday season seemed to amplify them. It was easy to see why the suicide rate goes up at this time of year.

Through my spiritual practice of the 12 steps, meditation and forgiveness, I developed a relationship with my Higher Power who has helped me far more then any pill or therapist could. Life is good!

God Bless

Thanks Kevin. And good points from everyone. I think I am with yard-eggs on this one. Drinking is a mute point for me also. After a year it has sunk into my mind that I will not drink again. However instead of putting effort into focusing on not drinking, I put my energy into strengthening my mental health. That’s what is working for me. If I got lazy then perhaps the cravings would return. The ironic thing about the holidays is that I would have a few shots of southen comfort with my grandfather years ago and I guess I held a taste for it because two decades later that became my drink of choice. Who knew? Wishing everyone a happy sober season.

good hearing from all of you, many of us at different places in our path to recovery but all sharing the same goal of sobriety. enjoy the holiday season!

You share some good reminders too SOS154. Getting enough rest/sleep and focusing on the reason for the season are things easily forgotten this time of year. Wishing you the best!

I was two years dry once without any program to rely on. It was a Christmas party, everyone knew I was not drinking and when I got there the hostess asked what I wanted... without much thought I said Red wine. That was back to daily drinking for 4 more years...

Have a plan, have an answer, ( better have a Yeti full of tea or soda )

Main thing is that the holidays and parties have a lot of tinkling glasses and the nostalgia of old. Also I envy ppl that can drink normally and so I just go and get some food and get home before I turn in to a Drumpkin...

1is2many

Thanks for sharing 1is2many and wishing you a Drumpkin-free Holiday Season!

Kevin 105 I can understand what you're going through I have been sober now for fifteen years or so I am 58 years old I have been sober for fifteen years or so I wish I could tell you you I have never relapsd however that would not be true when I relapse I feel guilty an ashamed then I work up the courage to go to a meeting and I know how much better my is sober I will pray for you remember you are not alone your friend Sallie

Thank you Sallie. Yes, meetings are a booster shot for me and I try going once a week to remind myself of the journey I'm on and to share with others doing the same. Wishing you a Happy Holidays!

I'm sober 42 days. Not my first time around. I find Imcan tell the same silly stories with glasses of seltzer versus alcohol. Meeting a day. I find the hardest time of day is after work when I'm bored and that was cocktail hour. I am 6 hours from home for work.

Congrats on your 42 days! Hey, doubt that anyone here managed success the first (hundred) time around so you’re in good company! A meeting a day is powerful support for you now, especially with those gaps in the day when you’re bored. Perhaps you already know this from previous experience, but it will get better my friend. What a wonderful gift you’re giving yourself and wishing you the best. Please stay in touch!