Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
This Saturday, at our home, my daughter's high-school graduation party... We've invited.. who knows, I never counted... How many have RSVP'd, who knows, I can't call my Voicemail (I have a "thing" about Voicemail, I can't call it, I just don't want to know...) I'm just going to have a big bunch of food here, and if we run out... then I'll order a bunch of pizza's or something... I'm just not worried about it. I know these are probably important details... how many are coming, how much food to serve... HAR!!! And yet, I have this sorta "defensive apathetic casualness" vibe going...
In 3 days, I will have 6 months sobriety (also of note: 6 months free of Bulimia, after 3o YEARS suffering!!! thankyougod!) In the past, parties at my house, always ALWAYS with the beer and wine, and sometimes with a wicked rum punch. And a bonfire, and lasting into the night... My oldest daughter's grad party was like that, a big blow-out, with her and her friends sneaking beers and stuff, and us finding out about it later...
I'm angry at myself now, for that. For being that kind of parent. For looking the other way. For being oblivious. Permissive. Setting a bad example. Being loud and attention-seeking at our parties. Dancing, hugging, joking, being an idiot. Not taking note of what the occasion is truly about. Missing my daughter's party, pretty much. Missing out on our guests, on what they were saying, on who they were, what they were about...
I'm much improved now. I'm a better friend. A better host. And a MUCH better mother. I'm so very grateful that it's not too late, that I'm catching myself mid-fall..
I want a different kind of party now. I want my daughter to see that there's no alcohol, and that we will still have a beautiful party, fun, and dancing and singing and the whole thing... I finally GET IT!! I get what it's all about!!! It's about the people! And it's about my daughter! And her life! How exciting, to be starting your adult life, with beauty, and talent, and life and laughs and sparkle, all the things that are my daughter! I totally get it.
ANd of course my husband wants to have beer here, for his buddies... I know it's a manhood thing, and I know he feels pressure, my BIL and my brother and a couple of my uncles, they like their beer... I know all that. And yet, I think, HEY, this is a high school graduation party. At my house. Beer is an issue now. Can we just have 5 hours without beer, it's kinda important right now. At this juncture.
Am I being selfish? I don't know, I've lost perspective. We're not arguing about it, not at all. He might get a little mad, if I insist though... I mean, it might be okay, if it's just a couple cases of beer, and they keep it in the garage... But I hate that, then the guys stay in the garage the whole time....
Also, another consideration: is it rude to have a dry party without warning, when people have come to expect alcohol at your parties? I have zero perspective here, I'm all over the place...
In 3 days, I will have 6 months sobriety (also of note: 6 months free of Bulimia, after 3o YEARS suffering!!! thankyougod!) In the past, parties at my house, always ALWAYS with the beer and wine, and sometimes with a wicked rum punch. And a bonfire, and lasting into the night... My oldest daughter's grad party was like that, a big blow-out, with her and her friends sneaking beers and stuff, and us finding out about it later...
I'm angry at myself now, for that. For being that kind of parent. For looking the other way. For being oblivious. Permissive. Setting a bad example. Being loud and attention-seeking at our parties. Dancing, hugging, joking, being an idiot. Not taking note of what the occasion is truly about. Missing my daughter's party, pretty much. Missing out on our guests, on what they were saying, on who they were, what they were about...
I'm much improved now. I'm a better friend. A better host. And a MUCH better mother. I'm so very grateful that it's not too late, that I'm catching myself mid-fall..
I want a different kind of party now. I want my daughter to see that there's no alcohol, and that we will still have a beautiful party, fun, and dancing and singing and the whole thing... I finally GET IT!! I get what it's all about!!! It's about the people! And it's about my daughter! And her life! How exciting, to be starting your adult life, with beauty, and talent, and life and laughs and sparkle, all the things that are my daughter! I totally get it.
ANd of course my husband wants to have beer here, for his buddies... I know it's a manhood thing, and I know he feels pressure, my BIL and my brother and a couple of my uncles, they like their beer... I know all that. And yet, I think, HEY, this is a high school graduation party. At my house. Beer is an issue now. Can we just have 5 hours without beer, it's kinda important right now. At this juncture.
Am I being selfish? I don't know, I've lost perspective. We're not arguing about it, not at all. He might get a little mad, if I insist though... I mean, it might be okay, if it's just a couple cases of beer, and they keep it in the garage... But I hate that, then the guys stay in the garage the whole time....
Also, another consideration: is it rude to have a dry party without warning, when people have come to expect alcohol at your parties? I have zero perspective here, I'm all over the place...
Really, there's no point in "flaunting" beer around a bunch of 18 year olds who aren't legally allowed to have it, so he shouldn't have it in the open anyway.
Billy
This happened in Georgia and the mother was sentenced to 18 months in jail just yesterday and a boy lost his life.
I would tell the invited guests that this is a high school graduation party for underage teenagers & alcohol will not be served, if they wish to drink, bring their own.
http://www.mysouthwestga.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=333670
I'm sure there parents have partys and the adults drink and if they (the kids)have friends over they would know it's not acceptable for them to drink. No difference here.
On the other hand if you think it may be a problem for you in regards to your sobriety...that's a differrent story
Just want to share a story. When my daughter was 20, she went to her friend's house where the mother is alcoholic. Turns out, she allowed the underage kids there to drink alcohol. Well, I showed up there the next day looking for my daughter, since it was Christmas morning and she had not shown up when she said she would (very unlikely for someone with presents to be unwrapped). This woman had allowed my daughter to leave with a couple of boys, knowing she was drunk!
I'm not a violent person (anymore) but I saw red. I asked her if she knew that it was illegal to serve alcohol to a minor? That moment in time, if she had taken one step towards me, God knows what I would have done. Thankfully, she backed away.
By the grace of God, these 2 nameless boys were friends, not predators. Bottom line is this: you don't want a frantic, scared mother showing up at your door. Tell the boys to go down the street to the local bar if they want a beer and let this be an occasion EVERYONE can have fond memories of. BTW Way to look after your daughter! You don't sound confused to me at all!
In our area a college student got drunk, fell in the river and drowned a couple years ago. . The girl who's party he'd been at, the kid who lent him an ID and the bar all in seriuos trouble. He was 20 years old and no one forced the booze down his throat but that doesn't matter legally . And I' don't think it would matter to me as a parent either.
There is no such thing as a plain tragedy anymore, we always find someone to blame. Make sure it's not you!
One little kiddy mistake and CYA, wouldn't want ta be ya. Prison is popular these days. Let the heathen's make their decisions, not on your watch, don't make that mistake.
Like I said before, You haven't lost any perspective, however, I think your husband may have.
....and a very happy congrats on your 6mos!