Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I know you all aren't doctors, but I would like to ask questions to see if any of you relate to some of the physical ailments my stbx exhibits. My stbx is an alcoholic. Drinks only beer with occasional tequila. I would estimate he goes through 2 1/2 - 3 cases a week. I made him get a physical last year and called the doctor to have a GGTP done. It was not done. ALL his liver and kidney tests came back within range, but just barely. He is pre-diabetic and tryglicerides were in the very high range. HDL was low. He has metabolic syndrome. Barely in the obese category with a huge beer gut. Has gained 70 lbs since we married. Does not exercise and is lazy. Goes to the bars numerous times a week - goes to work and has a job that he can actually sleep on his breaks. And I know he would take a nap before I would get home from work. He snores horribly, has had 2 bouts of pneumonia within 1 year. Is often sick. When he gets up in the morning he hacks up a lung (it sure sounds like) and has diarrhea most mornings. He is not a big smoker. I smoke, but I don't cough up a lung EVERY morning.
This is only the physical traits he has been exhibiting, this doesn't include the liar and deceptive sneaky person he has become.
He doesn't think he has a problem. Life is too short to not have fun! If he quit drinking - all the fun would be gone. My kids don't think he has a problem because "He likes to drink, but he doesn't drink to get drunk," or "He doesn't get drunk EVERY weekend...."
I prayed so hard for him to hit rock bottom and I just don't see it anywhere in sight, so I have to save myself from his destruction.
I would just like to get a sense of what you think. Did any of you exhibit any of these physicalities and if so, what ultimately happened and how long did it take?
Thank you for your insight.
This is only the physical traits he has been exhibiting, this doesn't include the liar and deceptive sneaky person he has become.
He doesn't think he has a problem. Life is too short to not have fun! If he quit drinking - all the fun would be gone. My kids don't think he has a problem because "He likes to drink, but he doesn't drink to get drunk," or "He doesn't get drunk EVERY weekend...."
I prayed so hard for him to hit rock bottom and I just don't see it anywhere in sight, so I have to save myself from his destruction.
I would just like to get a sense of what you think. Did any of you exhibit any of these physicalities and if so, what ultimately happened and how long did it take?
Thank you for your insight.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
If he does not think drinking 3 cases of beer, going to bars numerous times a week (there are only 7 days in a week), sleeping on the job, gaining 70 pounds is not a problem, then I don't know what one is.
'Life is too short to not have fun!': is all the above what you mentioned considered fun?
Sooner or later alcohol always catches up with you and in this situation, it already has...
I hope this person can recognize that there is more to life then how they are living and what they consider fun, is killing them...
Thanks abs...
When I stopped drinking, I lost the beer belly. It took about 8 months. My suger went down, my colesterol went back to normal, and I now run 3 miles a day and I feel much better, physically and emotionally. The 12 steps of AA saved my life and I have never been happier.
One thing I discovered was that I can't make people do what they don't want to do. I can only change myself so I just put people like your husband into the Hands of my Higher Power and pray for help for them, and then I let it go! That's the best thing and the only thing I can do.
God Bless!
Yes, before I stopped drinking again..2 wks ago I was having diarrhea daily, I was throwing up, I was not eating much, I was swollen in the face, ..I believe I had pneumonia end of March into April...I was becoming very weak...BUT I was not in denial.
I knew what was happening to me....I read that you said you have to save yourself....you do...I hope that you do move out or something..separate for a period of time....he isn't going to get better unless he wants to and if you talk to him and he doesn't want to..you unfortunately have to make a move.
YES,,,I have NO DOUBT he is alcoholic. I'm sorry its a difficult thing to be around.
You asked about physical problems. Well, I had extremely high triglycerides and while my overall cholesterol wasn't bad, the LDL was higher than it should have been.
I also had chronic diarrhea. It was especially bad if I ate anything with fat in it. It would also strike at the most inopportune times, like if I was out at a restaurant or over at my parent's house for dinner. It was not uncommon for me to have to get up mid-meal and hit the ladies room.
I also had acid reflux and had to take omeprazole. When I'd lie in bed at night, I would have the worst heartburn. I also snored and would jerk awake at night like I'd stop breathing.
Frequent bouts of bronchitis and I also had a really stubborn case of pneumonia one winter.
Right before things hit the bottom, I had elevated liver enzymes and would have pain in my upper right abdomen, especially when I bent over.
All of that went away after I stopped drinking. I have been sober for a year now and the worst news on my recent lab profile is that my cholesterol is pretty high. That is my fault because I eat a lot of stuff like butter and yogurt. (My bad.)
I agree with you that you have to take care of yourself. You just reach a breaking point. And like others have said, there is absolutely nothing you can do for him. He has to want to change for himself.
I'm sorry that things have deteriorated to this point, but I'm glad you're getting out and especially happy to hear that you don't enable him.
Good luck and keep posting here, if it's helpful.
(((HUGS!)))
Look to what lies ahead for you after your split. You could go to Al-Anon for help if you wish.
The worst crime is what your children said. Their dad has given them a legacy of alcoholism.
The only way to right this wrong is to teach your children that this behavior is NOT acceptable. Make an ultimatum- quit, or I am leaving you and taking the kids. Mean it. Do it. See a layer first, though.
That's the ONLY way for him to hit bottom and for you to save your children.
Otherwise, you'll either become his nurse or widow.
The more you put up with it the more it will keep going on.
Prayers for you
1is2many
I have attended some Al-anon meetings. And unfortunately my kids are adults (18 & 21). I left because husband refuses to and the kids are home with him. They haven't talked to me in 2 weeks, but they did text me a Happy Mother's Day.... at 5:00 p.m.
And yes - I figured sleep apnea. I have told him to get a sleep study done. He doesn't think it is necessary...
If it was a parking lot accident...around here the cops don't come...so unfortunately he probably didn't interact with police...a DUI would possibly wake him up.
Although my sister has 3 and she was never woken up.
I never received any in 22 years...but it might have woken me up...I would have been mortified.